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Alcohole, peer pessure and big mistakes in love

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LePetitPrince
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09 Dec 2007, 6:12 pm

Feeling stupid and ashamed is a good start.



Brian003
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09 Dec 2007, 6:14 pm

sarahstilettos wrote:
First of all, I hope you don't take any notice of Brian003's comment that drunk girls deserve everything they get. This is not true, and any man who tries to take advantage of you is below contempt.

Frankly, if you only make this mistake once you're doing better than most of the human race! There are people who do this to a greater extent god only knows how many times, (ie. me) and take years to learn their lesson. So if you're saying you'll know not to do this again now, well it sounds like you're doing great.

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
please don't listen to this guy. (people who say something should NOT preface it by saying "i'm not going to say anything" as it makes one a liar as well as lacking in compassion. and I AM going to say something and that is that, brian, i find your statement contemptible, and equal to saying, "girls deserve to be raped".)

now, lonelybonesey, please don't beat yourself up about this. drinking was not a very smart decision, but it wasn't exactly murder either. (i mean, i think brian's statement far outweighs drinking on the grand cosmic scale of things.)

please try to trust yourself. you knew that it wasn't such a good idea, but other people perhaps did not understand how sensitive you are and the fact that you were on meds, and some people can handle alcohol much better than others. so just try to take it as a learning experience and stand firm the next time the subject comes up.


I've never taken advantage of a women in my entire 20 years of existence.

You can interpret my writing any way you want and you certainly don't have to agree with my opinions.

After all, humanity is not one giant cloud of robots who are forced to all think the same way and mindless plug away a set of written codes about what is right and what is wrong.



Lonelybonesey
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09 Dec 2007, 6:24 pm

Brian I agree we are not robots and therefor have not been programed to think alike. However I am not misinterpreting your words it is plain as daylight that I am being acused of on on purpasely making myself vunerable to men who will jump at the chance to abuse women.

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some random hotel room without any clothes on and next to some 40 year old guy named Jimmy.

YEAH, THATS BAD.


That statement could very well be what my story could have ended up like instead of me escaping from the situation. But I do feel like i knew all that when i posted this message. I feel lik i am being made out to be a slut wih the choice of words.


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Brian003
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09 Dec 2007, 6:39 pm

Lonelybonesey wrote:
Tell me brian do you take advantage of girls when they are drunk? it seems like the same additude. I feel hurt about the statement 'I got what i deserve'. i repeat i have never been drunk before. Its only the second time iv ever been to a youth central club there was over a thousand youths there is my guess. I was way beyond my league. I was bullied into drinking. I would never ever dream of kissing a guy who i diddent know the first time i saw him. The combination of drinking on meds, on an empty stomack and in a very fragile state very quickly lead to my inability to control myself.


I most certainly do not think that "Drunk women deserved to be raped."

Lonelybonesey wrote:
Brian I agree we are not robots and therefor have not been programed to think alike. However I am not misinterpreting your words it is plain as daylight that I am being acused of on on purpasely making myself vunerable to men who will jump at the chance to abuse women.


I would question the accuracy of such a statement. Sure; SOME men do abuse women but I believe that amount of men who abuse women to the amount of men who don't abuse women is something like 1 to 20. And once a guy makes a comment that has any indication into appearing like he agrees with other men who abuse women he is immediately HAMMERED and made into some sort of monster.

Did the guy you meet really want to take "Sexual advantage" of you or was he just trying to impress his friends? If it was the later then he might have done what he did only to impress his friends.

Lonelybonesey wrote:
That statement could very well be what my story could have ended up like instead of me escaping from the situation. But I do feel like i knew all that when i posted this message. I feel lik i am being made out to be a slut wih the choice of words.


I don't think you are that type of girl. And honestly; I have never been accused of not treating women without respect by anyone else besides my sister. I guess it just all depends on the viewpoint of the person behind the computer.



Lonelybonesey
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09 Dec 2007, 6:46 pm

very well Brian you have made your point now i will make mine.

first you posted this

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I pretty much think you got what you deserved


Than you went and contradicted yourself by posting this

Quote:
I most certainly do not think that "Drunk women deserved to be raped."


So the question i ask is why do you think I deserved to be sexually taken advantage of!?


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Sorce
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09 Dec 2007, 6:48 pm

Lonelybonesey wrote:
:oops: Last night was very embarassing. Im warning everyone what happens when you try to fit in on someone elses terms not yours.

I have removed my real profile picture as i dont wish to be identified. Ok. Last night my youth grop and I went to a youth central club. There was swearing, alcohole, to many people, lound head banging music i felt so insecure in that area and myu friend kept on saying lets get drinks but i told her no my doctor told me not to. In the girls bathroom a group of girls cornered me and said (please excuse the language) your F****** hot, go and f*** some guy tonight and then they all laughed at me and i ran out of the bathroom. I thought i wasent affected but than i started feeling bad so next time my frien went for drinks i did to.

Very stupid indeed!! !

I drank on an empty stomack first of all
Secondly I am not a drinker at all so the amount i drank got me so drunk i cant even remember parts of the nights but i remember feeling very ill and over friendly. Some guy took advantage of this. I tongue Kissed a random guy and i cannot tell anyone just how ashamed i am. All my friends were watching they got me away from te guy to prevent anything elese from occuring. They sat me down and some hours later I woke up and told them not to tell anyone or my parents. Im really scared that the guy's friend took a picture of it and is going to put it on the internet.

Im feeling really guilty but luckily my freinds accepted my apologies and understood it was the drink and not me. I am not ever going to a night club ever again im so embarrased and shocked at myself. I think i might have been druged as well because the guy made me sip his drink. 8O


As others have stated, you were lucky. Don't push it. If you don't have the willpower to turn down drinks to the point you're taking sips from a stranger's cup, stay out of clubs. If your friends are pressing you to drink against your doctor's orders, seek better friends. Your friends got you away from that one guy in time, but they still did a little too much watching on the sidelines. Also, in strange crowded places, go to the bathroom in groups.



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09 Dec 2007, 7:03 pm

Brian im very interested in your opinion why did i deserve what i got?


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Brian003
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09 Dec 2007, 8:54 pm

Shouldn't you be asking yourself that question?

My opinion is of very trivial amount as a speculator in this situation.

It is your life and you should be the one to judge the difference between right and wrong.



Last edited by Brian003 on 09 Dec 2007, 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tequila
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09 Dec 2007, 9:36 pm

As I said in my message to you, you have to pick yourself up. I made a mistake with booze and food myself over the weekend. Both ends. For hours on end. Everywhere. You have to learn things the hard way. I could have ended up in hospital, you could have ended up a rape victim. Don't make the same mistakes twice and you should be OK.



techstepgenr8tion
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09 Dec 2007, 9:40 pm

Tequila wrote:
As I said in my message to you, you have to pick yourself up. I made a mistake with booze and food myself over the weekend. Both ends. For hours on end. Everywhere. You have to learn things the hard way. I could have ended up in hospital, you could have ended up a rape victim. Don't make the same mistakes twice and you should be OK.


Knowing one's tolerance, limits, thresholds, and knowing how to keep your head above water when your drinking, smoking, tripping, or whatever is really important - you don't have any fun regardless the other way but as the OP pointed out, its just bad for your safety in general if you lose yourself to it.



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09 Dec 2007, 9:42 pm

Tequila wrote:
As I said in my message to you, you have to pick yourself up. I made a mistake with booze and food myself over the weekend. Both ends. For hours on end. Everywhere. You have to learn things the hard way. I could have ended up in hospital, you could have ended up a rape victim. Don't make the same mistakes twice and you should be OK.


Gonna agree with Teq here.

The guys (and three girls that showed up later....meh) that I was with that night, are the type that drink to get drunk and throw up. I drank to be polite. I wasn't comfortable with it at all, even after the six shots, I just wanted to get away.

Sure I'll go out and party on my 21st, but all I plan on doing is ordering some wine and something along the lines of french style cuisine(so I've got odd tastes) and enjoying my life. I know that my friends are going to try and get me to get wasted and do stupid things, but I'm not gonna let that happen.

Brian........people like you disgust me..................very much. even if you were saying what you thought was right, sometimes you need to learn to let things past and not say them.


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LePetitPrince
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10 Dec 2007, 8:28 am

Brian, even if the rape victim was drunk and sleeping nude in the middle of the street that doesn't justify the rape crime.
Yet, stupidity acts should be avoided ...so Lonelybonesey don't repeat the stupidity act. Feeling stupid is a good start tho ...so keep feeling stupid abt yourself :lol: .



gwenevyn
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10 Dec 2007, 2:08 pm

:? Be nice, guys. Everybody does things they regret, Lonelybonesey. The important thing is remembering what you learned for the next time.


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LePetitPrince
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10 Dec 2007, 3:01 pm

hey!! but I was being nice!



gwenevyn
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10 Dec 2007, 3:14 pm

Well, I was hoping you were. Sometimes it's hard to tell. But such is the nature of this place.


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10 Dec 2007, 4:50 pm

Lonelybonesey, I don't understand what you're ashamed of here. I can understand being worried about what could have happened, or about the health effects of drinking too much, but in terms of what you actually did, it sounds like you were just having fun, and it's only misplaced guilt and shame that keeps you from having similar fun while sober. I also am not convinced that the guy took advantage of you - of course, I don't know the whole story but based on what I do know he was just having innocent fun, too. You kissed him, he kissed you back, he shared his drink with you. Maybe he thought you really liked him. Chances are he was too drunk to notice how drunk you were. If I'm missing anything from this story let me know.