What does it feel like to be in love?

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I don't know . . . It's different each time. I think "being in love" is hard to define.

I've felt deeply in love before, and been in a number of serious relationships, and yet my whole life, I've had this nagging feeling that there is someone else out there who I am meant to be with. This was one reason my last relationship ended - I had this gut feeling that I had a "soul mate" somewhere, and my instincts took me to California.

Then the other night, I met a really cool guy. There was this magnetic sort of attraction as soon as we saw each other and as well talked, we discovered that we shared all the same interests and the same way of thinking . . . It was really weird. And he looks like what I had always imagined "the guy for me" to look like.

Since we met, I no longer have that feeling that there's someone out there for me who I don't know about. I live in a city full of Beautiful People, but all of a sudden, none of them are attractive to me. And I can't stop thinking about this guy. He just seems perfect for me in every way, and he apparently feels the same way about me. When we're together, it's hard to stop hugging.

Anyway, this is what it feels like to be on the verge of falling deeply in love. I'm currently trying not to let myself fall completely in love yet because I know I should be rational and cautious and get to know the guy a little better before letting my feelings run wild. In the early stages, you don't know what direction things will take, you know.

"Love"- or, more precisely, that horrific hormonal storm of attachment- is awful. It's like having your head eaten from inside out by little termites. It makes you insane. It makes you paranoid, volatile, moody (to the point of being bi-polar) and psychotic. It grinds you down to your primitive, savage, Let's Breed Now! core. Your DNA kicks out your common sense, and tries driving your body around like a demented 14-year old. It makes you do crazy things, but that's OK, because you are 'in love'. It heightens every sense you have, including the bad ones. It makes you totally delirious, unable to eat, sleep, or think. You feel like a tennis ball being bounced between laughter and tears, hope and horror. It takes away any semblance of common sense, and if not careful, you can do some incredibly stupid stuff.

I've been 'in love' exactly twice in my life. The second time around, in my more lucid moments, I could hear my rational self, muffled by all the screaming emotions, saying, "WTF? This is not right!" I realized that my little spark of sanity was saying something profound, and while still in the grip of the howling maelstrom, made some observations. And my conclusion: I hate being 'in love', and was very, very glad when it finally fizzled out (an amicable parting, with The Guy retreating to the other side of the planet!) and I got my head back.

Love sucks. Give me friendship any day.