AS daisy-chain - no money, no honey

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Ah s**t I' got a couple of shirts in my draw I've got to burn.

Shouldn't my friend, who just wears black, be quite successful at 'hunting'?

I'm not sure it's relevant, but since you ask, I'm taking a break from relationships because I've already got too much going on right now, like class and figuring out how to pay for it. I simply can't afford or handle a relationship at the moment.

But at least I'm not making excuses.

Just FYI and all, most individuals with AS/AD will never have a romantic relationship; if you have, you're doing real well.

I don't need to read about misogyny to love my cat more, he is already extremely awesome and lovable.

I guarantee there is more to it than just money. This is WP after all...

For the love of Michael -This is the most condescending, most merciless set of responses I have ever tried to read! Most of you readily stamp on my post, call me a loser, and speak condescendingly without blinking an eye! Yes, it seemed I was having a moment of self pity, but I was first and foremost trying to share my experience. A get to know me bit and why I came here. Now I am starting to think this is a clique group more viscuous about enabling it's judgement, than it is accepting of all who seek a voice.

Many culture have developed manners of decorum, even with their enemies. Maybe this is the online, never sees a face, text culture that has no time to cover initial thoughts with diplomatic tones. I came here to see if I could relate to the experiences of others and maybe share some war stories. So why are you here? If everyone here is the poster person of success in all things social, what draws you to a support forum for Asperger's and ASD?

I'm not seeking pity, and I need none nor ask none. However, I am astounded at the easy disrespect and biting tone afforded me on a simple statement about money and social prestige. Maybe this kind of reaction is typical in this forum, and it's all a part of being Aspie for each of you. I can be harsh, but I always offer a tone of respect first.

I'm not attacking you. I agree with a lot of what you said.

I didn't intend to respond to your particular post, but to some of the others that came before. No offense taken or perceived. Sometimes I tend to be archaic in how I believe discourse should flow. I always have to remind myself to take lightly the "f()k with" jabber from NTs. I take myself too seriously sometimes. When I am thinking about change and life conquest, I get very serious.

Thanks for clearing up your position.

It seems to me that this is a matter of perception. You basically said that we're a clique more set on affirming prejudices than seeking truth and I personally find that a lot less respectful (and a lot more insulting) than the responses criticising your hypothesis about women and money. I trust you'll believe me when I say that I'm just sharing that in hopes that you'll acknowledge that there are many ways of seeing this sort of situation. I have no desire to make you feel bad or start a fight.

Your dissatisfaction with the response you received reminds me of the classic husband/wife misunderstanding in which the wife only wishes to vent about her day and get some loving affirmation and sympathy... but the husband analyzes and attempts to fix her problem, much to her vexation. She feels that her intelligence has been insulted (for certainly she has the capacity to reason it all out herself), plus she just wanted the comfort that comes with sharing one's troubles.

Asperger's Syndome has sometimes been explained as having an "extreme male brain". That's an oversimplification, but I think you will find that in any given thread most of the responses will be delivered "husband style" not "wife style". The good thing is that if you explain clearly that you want sympathy and not analysis, most people here will do their best to oblige. In your original post in this thread, you don't phrase things in terms of your own feelings and perceptions, but rather you present the your ideas as truths (ex: "The shackle of AS is one very strong chain binding social impairment to less options, to lower income, to decreased selection of mates"... "If you don't make at least 50k, don't have the right circle of neighborhood associations, or church membership, you are most likely to be refused in courtship with women in your own age group") Those who do not agree with your conclusion will want to present their own conflicting views and experiences.

Bottom line: I think we have a nice group of people here and they'll support you if you want, but almost all of us are quite literal-minded and unable to intuit a need for sympathy (and no criticism) in a post that does not specifically ask for it.

"I find that a lot less respectful (and a lot more insulting) than the responses criticising your hypothesis about women and money."
I felt disrespected and therefore proceeded to explain why. My apologies.

Preception-
Understood. I can handle debate and criticism.
It's HOW it is delivered, and the underlying intent behind it is what I question. Most responses were very short and terse, which to me indicated irritation and spite: "that's just being a loser", "are you sure it wasn't something else"... which seemed very sarcastic. I didn't find it necessary to qualify my post with a feelings and opinion statement. "I feel" that my posts should be recognized as subjective and not objective absolutes.

IMHO, this is a classic misunderstanding, and we are also seeing a difference in perspective in regards to generations. I am in my 30s, and the majority of the responses were from a younger college crowd. Money is important to your survival, yes, but I think we still have different perspective on how we think society judges us based on our socioeconomic level.

Thanks to these posts, the differences in my way of thinking have been highlighted. I used to be much more "male wired" or as I prefer "rationally wired", but over the last few years, I've made a conscious effort to listen and empathize more. The result: I can listen when I remind myself to, but I still have problems with casual conversing, or "chewing the fat".

Often times at work I am very rational and follow the rule and book like scripture. I do not like deviations or exceptions. Very militaristic. I am also more simple and less emotional when I reveal things that trouble me (like this post), but oft times the emotional aspect is exaggerated by others. I simply expect decorum, an ear and a response. I don't often seek sympathy, and I don't think airing concerns is asking for condescending remarks.
I may be self righteous, but I often treat and expect to be treated like nobles or diplomats would treat each other.
I have no problem with funning and fooling at my expense when it's obvious by the person's smile, but I saw no smirks or smiles in the typed posts here.

More than I wanted to write, but hopefully it's enough.

I think that those short, terse responses do often indicate irritation. Probably not spite though. Speaking from my experiences along the road of learning to control my urge to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, I'd guess that it's nothing personal at all. They're probably arguing issues (in their view) and failed to think ahead about how it might impact you or how another approach might have been more successful. This is all typical aspie stuff. That doesn't make it okay, but we can expect to see a lot of it here.

As for qualifying your post with a feelings statement, I don't know whether or not that would be necessary in you were speaking to a group of non-AS individuals because I can't escape my own lens. I can say though, that I'm pretty high functioning and have learned enough adaptive skills to pass as "normal enough" in most circumstances, successful in romance/work, etc. and yet it wasn't obvious to me at all what you were after. I was admiring of Sarah when she managed to ask you outright. I remember thinking "Ohhh! I wish I'd thought of that." But it hadn't even occurred to me.

So certainly you're not required to take such measures. I was just suggesting that if you know what you want some aspies to give you, in my opinion you might as well go ahead and tell them what it is, to save yourself the trouble of being misunderstood (and to save them the trouble of guessing, since not many of us are very good at that).

It's a good learning experience for the rest of us, that you shared how you felt upon reading our comments. Thank you for your willingness to talk about it.

Maybe your ugly

You might have AS

A poor man is like an ugly woman.

Thank you! I apologize. I believe I was having a bad and stressful day when I started coming back with responses.

Money in and of itself is not a big issue, and I'm not going to worry about it, but here I challenege anyone to go on an online personals site and search for women 25-35, then see what income they are looking for. The ranges they list can't just be random, meaningless conincidence. Test for responses by making a fake profile with a very high income.
I did it and the results are telling.

Anyway, in my experience, things started going south with new women when career talk emerged. That's not emotive reaction from me; the above is fact. It may not have been my actual financial status, but my career flux.

Anyways, I'm not going to worry about it now. I'm going to just accept that maybe the divine is driving me to women of a certain age for a reason. I don't mind, I guess.

lets just be rreal here/ most girls in america love money. the more you have it, the more they love yah