Bachelor's Compendium: Home, Life and Love

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It seems like sarah always says the stuff I'm thinking in a thread.

She's cool like that!

Excellent thread!

Umm, don't ask me about home decorating, I'm afraid I can't offer much insight there. When I lived alone my house was in such a state I actually managed to attract vermin. I did all the classic things, like leaving half empty mugs of cuppa soup on a shelf until they developed two inch high moulds that were soon to grow legs and run away, smoking twenty cigs a day and never opening the windows, etc etc. I believe I was trying to Live the Dream of being an impoverished music writer. I abandoned the Dream when Mr Mouse started scuffling around in the dark keeping me awake.

This is going to sound INCREDIBLY fickle but I do like it when I walk into a guys house and there's loads of stuff I want to borrow. Bookshelves stuffed with penguin classics, extensive vinyl collections, stacks of DVD's, these things all make me fall at a guy's feet. Conversely, bare rooms convince me we won't have anything in common. I acknowledge I may not be your typical woman in this respect. My only request concerning cleanliness is that bathrooms be kept in a reasonable state. Ie. In a state in which I could conceive of us trying something unordodox in the shower.

As to attire... well, this can only really be about personal prefence, so not necessarily very useful. I like men in suits. When suits aren't appropriate, I like men in shirts of some description rather than t-shirts and dark coloured, smart jeans. I like proper shoes rather than trainers.

This may come across as a little bit fascist and thats probably because it is, but then who do t-shirts and jeans really flatter? They stopped flattering me when I was about 18. Band shirts are particularly bad for this.

when i move into my new house, im going for the oriental look

I have lots of Asian decorative stuff. Painted plates, cork sculptures, lotus blossoms, etc.

i want a padparadscha sapphire!

sarahstilettos,

Your sentiment regarding men having loads of various media makes sense. It is right in line with a man having collections or possessions that tell something about him. A man with a large vinyl collection shows that he appreciates vintage mediums and an eclectic taste in music. Whatever. It still amplifies his personality. These possessions are conversation pieces.

Decoration can be totally divorced from cleanliness. No one wants to exhibit a filthy heap, but some clutter and loose ends are realistic. I not overly concerned about that. I'm just concerned that my furniture really has no identity or cohesion.

Dress: I do have some ideas and guidelines possibly borrowed from other sources.
From Stephen Colbert: "I like to wear suits and clothing with strong structure, since my form is lacking"

Chiseled built bodies or washboard thin bodies can wear loose clothes or unstructured clothes. If you're male body is otherwise, aim for clothes with strong cuts and form. Stiff collars, wide plain belts with square buckles. comfortable jeans that are well fitted, but still roomy. Moderate boot or straight cut jeans are good. If you wear a T-Shirt, offset it with an undershirt or some accessories that accentuate the neck and wrists (thick watch, neck wares).

The first poster basically repeated what the pickup community says, he took all their best advice and compiled it in one post and pawned it off as his own. He sounds very similar to like Wayne Elise, one of the best people in the community.

The true pickup community says pretty much exactly the same thing. If you've spent any time in the pickup community at ALL they say all of this AND MORE. Most people never been in, nor read about, nor actually studied the community

No one here understands the pickup community AT ALL and it's quite obvious.

Anyone who wants to understand it should begin here:

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating- ... 356&sr=8-1
and

note to members of the 'pickup community' (! !!) who claim to be missunderstood - your name isn't doing you any favours. Most people interpret the word pickup as meaning;

Pickup vb. 1. to chat up a lady in a club with a view to inviting her back to yours so you can take off each others clothes and have drunken naked fun. said aim is often achieved with the use of a chat up line, eg. 'Are you a parking ticket? because you have fine written all over you!', 'Do you like raisins? well how about a date then?' etc etc vomit etc vomit vomit etc

If your community is all about helping people have healthy longterm relationships via sensible advice, why would you call it a 'pickup community'? I am puzzled.

Go read the book "the game" and so you can get an idea of I'm referring to, thats why a posted the link! People keep misunderstanding. It's usually referred to as the seduction community, my bad:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community

all too familiar.



It's also important to wear clothes you're comfortable in. If your not comfortable, you're not going to carry yourself very well/confidently.

Actually I'm not trying to pawn off anything. Everything here is my repackaging of generic useful advice. I have read the free bits of pickup artist and double your dating, but got mostly the same messages leading to easy sex conquests. I did glean some of the introductory "first impression" useful bits, and left out the alpha male BS and the word games. The most useful information on general approach comes from Mystery of the Mystery Method.

What we are dealing with is concepts and I would like to make a clean break from the Alpha Male, cut someone down-build myself up method, or the matador caveman approach. I do believe that friendly teasing, once you've established personal trust, does help. The less you know someone, the more easy or harmless you have to appear with your teasing. Teasing, aka negs, should also be natural and not contrived. That's not really something that is easy to explain. It should never be used to insult or level(bring down) the love interest. Cutting someone down is good for meeting tramps, or formerly abused women (horrible), and if you are using caveman methods, but not useful for establishing and developing real dating intimacy.


Too many people instantly start caving when they read "alpha male" and I think it's dangerous for certain types to think in terms or animal or prehistoric dating methods.

Being illiterate of all the guru info makes the compilation of important self-work even more valuable. I'm not claiming to have developed a concept, but I do have one I won't mention here, and it will take away lots of money from the hungry dating gurus.

I've gathered some elementary useful information, that really could have been found anywhere, and condensed it into a package deal. Some of the approaches are also my own invention since I can't claim ever reading Wayne Elise. As for Mystery, I haven't cited the methods of his that I find unique, aside from learning some parlor tricks like palm reading.

Why are you and others so defensive i regards to "The Game" and dating guru stuff? Don't feed the what? We have moles here?

Ok this thread is progressing well but let me speak from my own experiences and then tell me what you think.

I was engaged to a girl (NT) who wanted me to be something that I wasn't and for a moment I tried but when I realized that the relationship wasn't working that no matter what I did she would not accept me for me but wanted me to accept her for who she was so I ended that.

Later I dated an aspie (I am an NT myself but please follow) and she accepted me for who I was didn't ask me to become someone else. That relationship ended but still I was much more happier when I was with a girl (didn't matter that she was an aspie) who accepted me for me.

Can I ask why NTs post here? Some respectfully are here in support of their children or mate/spouse. Why are so many single NT males here? Sorry, but I find it somewhat suspect of ulterior motives such as finding an Aspie mate, dating/social gurus who market and research.
I may sound rude, but many of us with life affecting issues come here to help one another, and I can't understand why single NTs are here.

Curious.
But we need to keep this thread on track, so maybe we need to refocus on submitting ideas.

Because many of us find the frivolity of the advice nauseating, it's such a triumph of style over substance. I'm sure there are people on here that reading advice on being 'cocky funny' makes them want to not date at all. I'm repelled by girls that are obsessed over makeup and clothes, so I'm not applying any double standards here. That's one good thing about doing a science degree, even though the girls are all taken they make better company because they're not usually the type to go 'OMG! I couldn't possibly do that, my nail polish could get scratched!'
I'm not saying the advice (if you have the social skills to actually apply it, which I don't) doesn't work. It's the very fact it works that makes it so bad.

And it's an insult to those of us who have high enough self-esteem that it does NOT work on us.

(btw, go easy on the clothing perseveration, will ya?)