Who do you think you're in love with?

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Not to sound dramatic or anything but I think I've been soiled by too much experience.

The person I was in love with doesnt exist anymore. She rarely spoke. Yes looking back I think she was AS her sister was.
She didnt speak so I filled in the blanks by putting her on a pedistal.

Shes a Psch MD now and still hates and ridicules her AS sister. I can't imagine especially since she knows about AS she could do that.

Once she found her voice after many years together and a few years apart she was saying things to prove she was never the person I thought she was.

They say you will never find love if you go looking for it , in that case I am wide open.

Well to put it in milder terms... I used to look for love all the time, but then i gave up and tried not to feel love at all. But that feeling hasn't completely gone away...

Now I don't actively seek it, but if it comes my way, I am still keeping my options open. Don't expect me to hold my breath anymore, though...

Somebody in my social circle, that I met back in October.

The word "love" is too strong, but a crush, definitely.

However, moving beyond the once-a-week-group-get-together is challenging. Not impossible, just challenging. :/

yeah don't expect me to either lol

Yeah, that's usually not a good thing to hold your breath... but it's also not good to completely write off your options, though... that's like anti-holding-your-breath, which also causes suffocation...

That's really not a bad way to approach things. When I was actively looking, all it ever did was cause problems. I was either alone, or setting myself up for a fall. If you look too hard, you can't help but find what you think you're looking for. Only later would I realize that it wasn't what I wanted at all.

You can find love (or if you're lucky, love finds you), but it isn't something that has a set procedure or recipe to finding it. It could happen tomorrow, or ten years from now. Spending all of your time on the pursuit of love, though it may not always be a fruitless effort, could cause you to stop growing in other ways. So you could end up with no love, and no self-growth, a lose-lose situation. Personal growth could also make you more likely to find love, so in some ways it would be indirectly (or maybe even directly) helping you towards your goal.

I didn't used to consider myself to really be lucky at all. I do now.

well I just don't much care
it seems more hassle then its worth
I think I am better off alone-and people saying "oh girls will see you some day" doesn't make me feel better no one has ever showed real interest in me
and you know what why should I wait for some perhaps non existent person?
I'm sick of it, all the "oh just try harder" and bull s**t
I am not lucky in any sense of the word-being nice gets you nowhere
seriously
I don't care who got what
its what I got and I don't have anything
and refuse to have hope
f**k it

I love my friend who I just wrote a blog about. He looks after me but has never made me feel like it's a big deal.

I used to love friends
then i was made fun for it so I never say I love anyone

Then were they really your friends?

well the people I told I loved as friends didn't laugh at me
other "friends" did
but I don't talk to them anymore
point is I don't believe in love

guys...if you hold your breath too long you'll turn blue and fall over. that does not impress the ladies...

meh

My boyfriend is MINE and MINE only.

Well, I wouldn't say it's "in love" as such, more lite attraction and admiration mixed with caring feelings. But there is a woman here on WP, Lives in Bay of Plenty area like me, several years my junior. I would be curious / nervous about meeting her!

i'm in love with the sea......

i miss the days of darwin where all you had to do for science was be a sailor and go draw some stuff.

i still consider being a fishery observer... where you live on a boat most of the year.