Hotness...

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Elaborate what you mean , remember ....we aspies can't read between the lines.

Women seem to have lower standards than men tbh.

I've noticed attractive girls my age at college going out with middle-aged older male students that would not generally be considered attractive. I wonder if the "older, mature male" bit is to blame. It's all rather odd.

By the way, hale_bopp, I love your avatar.

Well, it's nice to know some women aren't like that

Last edited by Wolfpup on 11 Feb 2008, 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm guessing it's because they have to.

true. there be a disparate ratio of female 'hotties' vs tom cruise type men running around the streets.


Regardless though, a healthy bank account is the modern version of the alpha male.


And it is a fact that people rarely link up because their partner is 'the' one for them but because the partner was 'the best' they could get.

Some comedians make a routine out of this but its true. If a man has a nice looking GF but suddenly the sexiest woman on earth came up and asked him out.. it'd be ungodly hard to say no to such an offer. Same goes for women.. if the sexiest and wealthiest man on earth came up to them and asked them on a date.. I bet you she would seriously think about her answer... because instinctively she is comparing her guy with the sexy+rich guy.

Its just human nature.

Sucks but its true.

I hope not. All I can really know for a fact is that my brain does not work that way. It would be sad if I were alone.

No matter how hot a girl is, there's always someone, somewhere, who's tired of her.
She is still a real person.

Tom Cruise is a hottie?



Have to agree with that.



That will be true of a lot of people but not as many as you think. People who work that way are probably digging themselves into a miserable life. Affairs, divorce take what you can get.




Sexiest does not necessarily mean beautiful the way that Hollywood would define it.

A guy may dream of getting the sexiest or most beautiful woman into bed but may not want her for a serious partner after that. Some guys do like to have a status symbol wife just as they want a status symbol car or yacht.
That 'arrangement' works well for many people but it is not what most of us want.

You're right, of course. This is why I think true love does not exist. It's all part of the negotiation game to say there is. It's about convenience; a business contract of sorts, and you make the best deal you can.

Now that I think of it, maybe aspies might be able to know true love, since they aren't driven nearly as much by primitive needs.

I've seen that too - not that good looking and/or smart guys don't get girls but I've seen hideous guys - both physically and mentally - with above average looking girls; sometimes even smart girls.

There was a guy at my uni just like that. He was sexist, had no patience for any in-depth discussion, had bad grades overall and conspicuously slandered and backstabbed random people. In group projects (and I had to work with him at least once) he was obsessed with social intrigue and scapegoat creation rather than with actually contributing - in a period of months I saw him go from harassing me, to requesting my help to harass our informal team leader who was also supposedly his best friend; then I saw him at another team project saying ridiculous things like "We will all agree it was so and so's fault and will tell him so once he gets here".
He once forced a girl he was hitting on into a french kiss, then went on to tell everyone she was "probably a lesbian" because she slapped him.
Once we were - class setting - trying to convince a teacher not to take a certain test during holidays but a week earlier; this guy gets up, accuses us of "being liars" and requests for the exam to be taken during holidays as originally planned, then says that since he isn't going anywhere for holidays he might as well screw them up for everyone else.
Physically he was pale, fat - a flabby type, narrow of shoulders - and his t-shirts were sometimes stained with things like mustard. He wore glasses, narrow thick glasses from behind which he squinted at people.

Whenever there were girls, he was the guy hanging around with them. He supposedly had a girlfriend at the same time, but that didn't stop him from hitting on everyone.

I think it has to do with the all-encompassing sexist mindset; meaning that women are a part of it; meaning that those teaching girls how to think and how to behave are themselves sexist - for generations - then that sexism gets reinforced in the media, social pressures, etc. . . In my observation, girls would rarerly start conversation with anyone - myself, they would almost never even greet me - they just sat there like some doll and if a guy like this guy decided it was a good idea to occupy 99% of their free time with flirting, they would go along with that. . . apparently regardless to whether they already had a boyfriend or could (presumably) use flirting with somebody more interesting.
I've seen something similar in clubs, too; guys hit on everything that moves and girls don't even look at them unless spoken to. I have an American online friend; I discussed this with him; says it's the same over there (I had 'till then assumed the contrary). You are either initiating a flirting conversation or you don't exist - doesn't matter if you are fitter or smarter because you do not exist because you are not flirting with them.
My ex is Spaniard, she says girls take the initiative a bit more in her country and that they are generally pretty stupid where I live but I don't know how much of this comes from her direct observation (we did comment on a few random girls or couples we saw when she was here).
A shrink used to tell me girls at uni flirt with guys like these because they perceive them as "safe" and would rather shun someone like me because they could tell I'd eventually want a serious relationship (that being generally too much of a hassle).

Anyway. . . I wouldn't be surprised if seeing this jerk be so succesful when I couldn't even get a conversation going was one of the things that triggered my emotional breakdown a few years ago (since after which I basically stopped trying, have a harder time keeping fit, went back to playing videogames, greatly decreased my eye contact. . . amongst other things)

The evidence has always, even in retrospective, been more shocking than any logical explanation for it:

1) As I said, this guy would be hitting on everyone all the time. We once had a really sexy teacher-assistant in her late 20s. During a break - some of us were in the classroom - Jerk hits on her with something like "hey teacher. . . hmgph. . . prettey. . . isn't your boyfriend jealous of you being here?" (or something like that). She smiles at him and does some smalltalk with the group around her -turns out she was going to concoct the exam. Just to see what happened I said in an obviously friendly smalltalk-ish manner something like "Let's hope it's not too difficult! ". She stops smiling, glances at me and goes on with her stuff. On top of that the fat jerk, quickly says something rude to me to try to shun me out of the social situation. I reply something rather stern, logically correct but softening the blow with a bantering attitude to it. He simply turns his back on me while I'm replying and pretends to busy himself with something on the board - something non-existant because the board had already been wiped clean.

2) Theres a new girl in class. Both me and Jerk make some social contact with her. One day we walked together the way back since we found out we lived like two blocks away. . . talking about different things (me and the new girl). The next day, there's me in a social situation with Jerk and others; new girl arrives and I turn around saying Hi to her and asking her if she finally managed to study for some exam she had told me about (or something). I have a grin on my face, she has too but I can soon tell she's not at all looking at me; she completely ignores me, walks past me and goes to flirt with the fat jerk. We never spoke to each other again.

3) When I had to work in a team project with the fat Jerk there was a girl around and at some point there was the three of us in a car going somewhere. . . During all this time Jerk never bothered concealing his constant rudeness and stupidity; for example by saying he'd punch me in the face (for something minor that had not even happened) and reacting violently when the girl tried to change radio stations because the music he'd put on was terrible (comparing it to the Spice Girls is not enough; I can't describe to the first world how bad third world music can get). This girl was jewish. At some point someone mentions something about jewish culture. I tactfully and casually asking him if he himself was jewish; he put a face that would have made sense if I had asked him if he liked to wallow in hospital residues during hot summer days - and then almost went into a racist rant in front of the girl he was supposedly hitting on.
This girl did not only not change her flirting attitude towards him; she began confiding in him when things weren't going right with her boyfriend. I always got along well with her, yet she invited him and not me to a party she later on organized.

I've seen a lot of guys be succesful with women (everyone else other than I) but the fact that, despite everything women like to say, guys like this one (and I've seen very few that are this bad) have above average success with them is. . . odd. . . to say the least. I still can't completely make sense of it.

I would think it was the other way around, guys have to have lower standards.

TV and magazines have brainwashed people into thinking that EVERYONE should be attractive. It's a conspiracy, I say!!

You're right about that too.

The jerk always has a girl because he has no standards, He tries to get every woman he sees. If there is a group of women, he ranks them according to hotness, starts at the top of his list and makes advances to all of them until he is successful. One more notch on the bedpost and he starts over again at the top.
Hale_Bopp, you have a very pretty picture. I think, the guys you find attractive, think you are out of their reach. (The opposite of lowering their standards.) Most guys are afraid to talk to you, because they think you will reject them like cute girls always do. The guys who hit on you are probably the jerks, or the ones that think they are going to get shot down anyway (Uglies?).
I have had good jobs, making above average earnings. But, I am normal looking (neither handsome or ugly). If a pretty woman guesses my income, I get hit on (grocery store, vacation, etc.). When based on looks alone, they reject me.
So, a cute woman waits for a guy who is handsome and serious, and a rich guy waits for a woman who is pretty and not a gold digger. Eventually they both end up lowering their standards to be with a person who treats them right.
Hotness is good for daydreams and fantasies, but getting to know each other is the real way to find a person who makes you happy. If you get beauty on the outside in addition to beauty the inside, it is a bonus. If you only try to search the the cute ones for compatibility, it will be a long search. If you find hotness and compatibility, you get both get older and the hotness leaves.

I know for a fact I'm not like that either. I suspicion is that there are lots of people who aren't like that, although probably lots that are. If anything though I might be too loyal...or at least theoretically, actually I don't think there is such a thing as too loyal.