i am 26 and never had a date.

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b-33
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24 Mar 2008, 11:46 pm

I've never had a girlfriend because Asperger's has left me with an inability to communicate. In college, age 19, some female friends at my dorm set me up with a gorgeous girl who thought I was cool. We went to see a movie called "The Butcher Boy." But afterwards, I had no idea what to do with her. I could've taken her out to dinner, or we could've gotten drinks or something, but I just didn't. It's like I had some kind of mental blockage. The girls who set us up wondered what the hell happened. A lot of my acquaintances wondered why a smart, talented, good-looking guy like me never had a girlfriend. They could tell I wasn't gay and I wasn't shy either.
This always happened whenever I went out on a date with a girl. Eventually I gave up. I have difficulty talking to people and I have virtually no friends. When I was in college i was surrounded by people whether I liked it or not, which was good, but sometimes I felt left out. When I was diagnosed with Asperger's a month ago, it finally explained everything.



MrSinister
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25 Mar 2008, 2:49 pm

At the age of 28, I've never been on a date either, but I have only ever asked girls out a few times. Usually just to receive a rejection that goes along the lines of "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband" or "You're a really nice guy, you'll find somebody."

In fact, the last time I confessed any sort of real affection for somebody (which she'd already cottoned onto, seeing as my conduct in these matters is anything but subtle) was just before she came out to me.

Stupid luck. The way it's been kicking me in the guts of late, the cute girl at the post office who I'd like to get to know better is probably in a polygamous relationship with another girl, two guys and a duck...


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b-33
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25 Mar 2008, 4:12 pm

'Ever tried meeting girls who're into comics? People expect weird stuff from comic book artists and writers, so that might work. Then again, girls that're into comics are probably a bit more sociable than myself and I'd just wind up being a wallflower again.



techstepgenr8tion
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25 Mar 2008, 4:47 pm

nightbender wrote:
i feel like a total loser. I am 26 and never had the courage or skill to ask a girl out.


Its nasty in general. You do need to make attempts for it to happen (at least with anyone your interested in). My own life experience has been pretty minimal in this area - have been on dates and a lot of them were kind of depressing just because I did take on blind dates, people more interested in me than vice a versa; and for many of us the whole 'ask 10 people out and get a yes' is a really tough one to chew on when you're analytical enough to know your compatibility limits and are stuck in a position where you very rarely see someone you'd even want that much to do with.



b-33
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26 Mar 2008, 1:49 am

Do you have Asperger's? I'm just wondering.
Anyway, the worst thing is that I want companionship like crazy, but can't achieve it.
Are there dating websites for folks like us? I met some girls with Asperger's at a support group, but they physically repulsed me. I don't set my standards high, by the way.
At least I know now why I wound up like this.



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26 Mar 2008, 2:01 pm

I will turn 18 in June and never had the courage to ask someone out.

There is a book called The Autistic's Guide to Dating.
Try reading it and you may get a start from there.


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brister22
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26 Mar 2008, 4:11 pm

I finally got married in my 30's first time to a great woman. There is plenty of women single in your age range. It takes effort, interest and sacrifice Try joining a walking club, or a hobby that you like that may have women there. It takes time, everyone is human, so If rejected no loss. Women that like you will show it and may try to be near you.

The Key is to eliminate the mojorty of the "I statements" from your vocabulary as some apies have a tendency of doing and just think in terms of the other person and to be self confident in yourself.



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27 Mar 2008, 2:36 pm

b-33 wrote:
'Ever tried meeting girls who're into comics? People expect weird stuff from comic book artists and writers, so that might work. Then again, girls that're into comics are probably a bit more sociable than myself and I'd just wind up being a wallflower again.


I'm going to the San Diego Comic Convention in July. The American net-friends I'm meeting up with there are dead-set on getting me to try chatting up either a Suicide Girl (tattooed goth girls) or one of the cosplay chicks (girls dressed as comic book/video game characters). Somehow, despite the fact that charming the pants off a girl dressed as Catwoman would be ten kinds of awesome, I can't quite see myself doing it.

Even with the help of my Hugh-Grant-esque English accent and mannerisms...


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Dracula
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27 Mar 2008, 3:06 pm

MrSinister wrote:
Stupid luck. The way it's been kicking me in the guts of late, the cute girl at the post office who I'd like to get to know better is probably in a polygamous relationship with another girl, two guys and a duck...


:lol: LMAO!

That is undoubtedly the most hilarious thing I've read on WrongPlanet.

- D



MrSinister
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28 Mar 2008, 9:10 pm

Dracula wrote:
MrSinister wrote:
Stupid luck. The way it's been kicking me in the guts of late, the cute girl at the post office who I'd like to get to know better is probably in a polygamous relationship with another girl, two guys and a duck...


:lol: LMAO!

That is undoubtedly the most hilarious thing I've read on WrongPlanet.

- D


One hopes the duck doesn't agree :P


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28 Mar 2008, 9:30 pm

I'm 33, and the only gf I've ever had, INSISTED that we go out. I was around age 26, and it didn't last long, only 2 weeks. At that time, my social anxiety/panic attacks were so out of control, that I just couldn't continue subjecting myself to such exposure. It had to end.

Nowadays, I'm much more stable, and have been thinking about finding a gf. Who knows what is possible... :wink:


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JohKnip
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31 Mar 2008, 11:55 pm

wow i feel much better now but dont worry guys youll find the person. im 20 and i have never been on a date, i have alot of female friends online but im a little freaked out to ask them out that and i dont have much time or transportation XD. just listen to the song dont stop believing by journey thats what helps me sometimes.
-John



Lordnarfington
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01 Apr 2008, 10:22 am

In my personal experience, the only thing I hate more than rejection is "I'll think about it". In high school, I actually thought thats what they ment, so I kept checking back. Turns out they thought I was stalking and....lets just say hilarity ensued (dunno if thats how you spell it, whatevs).

Anyway, at 20 I've had 1 serious relationship and a couple short time relationships in highschool. In my experience, I found girls i clicked with when I wasn't trying to get a girlfriend. Just be yourselves.