Any AS guys manage to become "bad boys?"

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Oh I'd totally take it...like a man

When a girl gets sarcastic with me, that's foreplay

I went through a brief jerk phase in high school after getting dumped twice in favor of jerks. I did it fairly well, I think. A couple girls that had never bothered with me took interest. How I had to treat them made me feel lousy and kept me up at night. It wasn't me, it wasn't who I wanted to be, and after a couple months I stopped. I apologized to the two girls I had been that way with.

Ironically, neither wanted much to do with me after the apology, whereas treating them like manure had them calling me every other day. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The best conclusion I could make: teenage girls are all effed up in the head.

I am talking about the real deal, being a true jerk to women. Only interested in sex, never calls them, compliments them, and truly treats them bad.

Most "bad boys" are doing nothing more than putting on a show, because they like that little bit of added respect/fear that it gives them, over acting normal. They like to do this around women because they're confident there will be no confrontation. They usually have a group or gang that they hang with, and this is their safety net. No one want to mess with a group. I've found, if you catch this so-called bad boy by himself, and confront him, he will usually run his mouth until he figures out that you're not f**king around. Then he will cower like the little b**ch he really is. At this point, there is usually nothing more to gain by beating him up(there are exceptions), and he will never even look at you again. A genuine "bad boy" only uses force when its absolutely necessary, because he has nothing to prove to anyone. Not all bad boys are jerks ,but,us good ones are truly a rare breed.

Last edited by jawbrodt on 16 Apr 2008, 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I find it very difficult to believe that any girl would actually say that, yet alone that she would confide that to you.

lol it's not being a jerk that generates attraction, it's whether or not you jump through a woman's hoops she places.
A woman will give you tests to see if you are intimidated by her and take crap from her, subconciously women look for strong men so naturaly she won't be attracted to you if she can walk all over you. You can't walk all over a "jerk" so they have a oneup on nice guys in the attraction phase.
Once you have proven to the woman you are strong and don't fall for her hoops she will realize on a subconcious level that you can protect her from the big bad world, after this you can be more relaxed as you have passed her tests.
It's all primal mating selection based on animal instinct.

My last girlfriend told this told me. I am dead serious. You're an AS girl, so I don't think you would understand. I am scared of a women ever saying this to me again and losing interest because I'm not a jerk to her...

I completely agree. On more than one occasion Ive had women whom Im dating and getting to know engage in manipulative behaviour as a way of testing my reactions. Back in January I met this girl and while chatting online after meeting up with her in person she misinterpreted something I said as an accusation and told me that even if I were not to ask such questions that she was "already creeped out" and that "the damage has been done" All I asked is why she was 'setting' her hair before going to bed cuz I assumed by doing such it would get messed up. She was very paranoid and hypersensitized to ANYTHING that she percieved as being controlling-which included me asking her what she was gonna do one day which women have asked me all the time and I dont flip out. Im REALLY pretty sick and tired of having to jump through peoples hoops; so next time I met someone and she starts testing me Im gonna call the whole thing off. But generalizing her to both sexes: If someone you meet and are getting to know trys to *test* you and make you jump through hoops, its a sign that they dont trust you and being involved with someone who doesnt trust you is a recipie for Distaster!

Last edited by D1nk0 on 16 Apr 2008, 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Of course not

Personally, for someone I just met or am still getting to know to make the assumption that they know more about me
than I know about myself would be VERY insulting and provocative on my end . If someone treated me that way
the very least I would do would be to lash out at them. So treating me that way is grounds for getting into a fight because I consider that to be a challenge.

I'm afraid I sort of agree. But maybe it's also the kind of girl you go for. At the Women's shelter I used to see a lot of that. Girls thinking it was cool that they were with a drug dealer making $ here and there yet they'd come in with children and more problems. I guess I got carried away with my opinions in this thread. It's just something I could never relate to. In fact all my life I never related well to the bad guy image. I think at one time I tried to when an acquantance hooked me up with this guy I had never met. I think you could say he was a jerk, he could come off hurtful and knew the right buttons to push. In fact I was afraid of breaking it off, I had to have someone help me. So it's just hard for me as a female to relate. That's why I guess I've been yackn' in this thread.

LOL, I was just thinking about that other forum when I typed that too.

I met her in an AA meeting so I guess I got what I deserved. The girl I am seeing now(who I met at school, not AA...) is 100 times more sane than the last one, but I am still scared she is going to not stay attracted to me unless I treat her mean. I guess I am jumping the gun a little on this one, but I can't help but be paranoid. I really cared about the last girl and still do, and it really hurt me to have her say those things and to think that I needed to be mean to her to get her to like me more. Just thinking about her drives me insane, and I made a point of telling her that I can't talk to her anymore for the good of my health, and that was almost 2 months ago...

I don't know much about what this girl's like, but I've always been told that AA meetings aren't the best place to meet someone. I guess b/c ppl are still getting through some issues. I had a bad experience with that myself.

I'm not a guy so I guess I can't say. For me, I have to slow down or I definitely freak out. I don't look at relationships in the same way as how the media represents them. In fact, my attitude is changing more since I've been sober but that's a personal and different story. All I can do is wish you and your partner the best of luck. I also don't think it's necessarily uncommon to still have feelings for one you once had a thing for or loved. Sorry to hear that.

Goes back to my thread about us lacking 'heart'. To be an effective jerk, you literally have to be one in every regard. If you mean being a jerk in a good way, when you look at a guy who does pull it off that you know and who does it admirably - you'd have to pretty much become him or someone very similar; that goes all the way down to what you believe and don't believe about the world, politics, probably your religious outlook, and most likely not only your emotions but your natural emotional reactions.

That's kind of saying that if your an outlier in that regard, especially if you have a lot of depth and intellect - its really going to have to be up to luck and all you really can do is just build as many mitigating factors (success, physique, status) and all the while hoping you can screen out the ones who want to use you for one reason or another for what you have.

So Willard, are you actually quotting (actor)Charlie Sheen?
I have to say that I totally agree with the last 2 sentences. If you're goal is not to hook up than being a nice guy makes you likeable and pleasant to be around. But if you want more than I suppose you gotta play hardball.

Was she the only one who said that? You said 'girls'.
If she was your gf at the time, maybe she just used that as an excuse to break up with you. Were you still in high school? Was it a serious relationship, or just a couple weeks? Context is everything.

But obviously, if you want someone who loves you for you, then you can't pretend to be something you're not.