Opinions On Aspies Dating One Another

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don't think it's cowardice, not to tell them! I have told NT friends, only to have them think that I am looking for pity, being "precious," or eliciting envy. One friend even adopted the curebie approach. So, telling might not work out.


So true it's catch 22 it seems we can't win. I've read some people here wonder to themselves if it would be easier to be severely autistic , ret*d both mentally and physically , I've had the same thoughts, hard to say?

Oh crap. Most of the people here lack confidence, are whiny or just are plain picky.

IF *anyone* approached them meeting their standards, everyone would be willing to date.

Doesn't matter if it's an AS or NT who approaches.

Now, would the relationship last longer with an AS than with an an NT?

No. An AS/AS relationship requires work, just in a different way than an AS/NT relationship. An NT who loves and care for their AS counterpart is more than capable and willing to make the committment to the relationship. An AS/AS may simply be unable to fulfil the others needs.

Can two mentally challenged individuals make a relationship, between themselves work? Yes, but it's tough, tougher than a high IQ and low IQ individual.

Now, add a child. Yes, some couples choose not to have children. But accidents do happen and a child in the mix will certainly stress an AS/AS relationship a lot more than an AS/NT plus the child may be unable to come to grasp with the complexity of an AS/AS.

Selfishly - all the AS women belong to me. You AS men go get NT women.

I have AS and I have an on/off relationship with an AS man.

While we share similar interests and values, the relationship has been very difficult. We do get on better than we do with other people though and enjoy each others company. We have problems with wanting things done our way and wanting the other to be like we are. We are very different and need to learn how to accept differences in the other instead of getting confused and cross with each other.

He is much less direct than me, I am very like the OP in my character where as my boyfriend (despite having AS) communicates less with words and more with manner and body language and has more theory of mind than me. My problems tend to stem from me being quite a strong character who annoys people, where as his problems are more to do with being quiet and shy.

We dont understand each other very well and because we both have AS we have difficulty coming to compromises and sorting out differences.

We do love each other very much though so have difficulty terminating the relationship even though its not working very well.

I think if the OP were to go for an aspie female it will work better if she is a similar type of aspie and has a similar character so that their interactional styles dont clash. Its best to find this out quickly before strong feelings get involved. I thought another aspie would be more like me than they were.

ive never been in a romantic relationship. i think it depends on the people, not their neurological orientation. but i do have an AS friend, and he understands the bits of me everyone else is annoyed by. so that's relaxing.

It does always depend on "how aspie" you are. If you're the touch-freaky, obsessive, rude type, for example, you don't want to be going out with one who craves touch, craves attention, and is overly sensitive to words.

My aspie partner and I have been together for nearly three years, with no problems, because our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other.

lol yeah, that would be a terrible match!

1000 posts WWWOOOOOTTTTT

Another factor, could be personal habits; like in the movie, " Mozart and the Whale," with one Aspie being neat, and the other messy.

Blind leading the blind. It could work if both parties have lost all hope in the NT world.

well i'm sure they could see enough to fucntion, they'd just be a very wierd couple.

AS/AS relationships can fail just like any other NT/NT relationships.


I have been in a aspie relationship with another aspie and well it was hard. He was very narrow/ignorant and judgmental, rigid in his thoughts. He never wanted to hear what he didn't want to hear when I correct him. He acted like I was ret*d because he felt like he was with a child than with a 21 year old. I was an embarrassment to him and didn't' like what shows I watched or games I played. But he was also needy. He wanted me to touch him all the time and rub him. I also wanted time alone and he wouldn't like it. It was as if he wanted me with him all the time. Only time I got time alone was when he be at work. But then I was in bed and then I have some time alone in the morning with Benny & Joon. His snoring bothered me and he expected me to deal with it and stay in there. I used ear plugs. I felt he was a control freak but he didn't make me do this or that he wanted because he didn't want to be that person. I don't think it was all the AS that did it, it was also him being judgmental and very narrow, those kind of people who don't want to hear what they don't want to hear when they are wrong about something or don't know enough about something. Non aspies are that way too. I have corrected people in the past about what they thought of me or other things and still think the same thoughts they already had. Proof right there. Besides my mom has told me people only want to believe what they want to believe.

In our relationship we had argument battles to be right and he thought I was self centered because of it and thought I always had to be right. Well he was the same way too, argued with me over facts and he be wrong. I loved having proof to show him. Thanks internet. One time we argued over a song about what year it was released and I told him the year on my album and he said he heard it on a radio station few years later and I said "then they must have been playing it again, sometimes they play songs on top hits that are not new."
He was also asexual so that was good but it can be hard. At least he was willing to have sex when I want it but I would have to do all the work because it's hard for him to feel turned on and all because he was injured in a car wreck. He can even bend it penis and it won't hurt thanks to no feeling down there. To make it hard, you had to rub it.
he thinks our relationship would have worked if I wasn't in the ABness but I don't think it still would have worked even if I wasn't. After a while I would have gotten tired of him being judgmental and narrow I would have thought "enough" and leave. I can't stand ignorant people. He also acted like a none aspie by expecting things out of me a normal person would have expected.
So it wasn't the aspieness that did it, it was his ignorance and judgments that did.

For me, it depends on the person.

There are many reasons that I focus on Aspies with the same interests.

For example, I like to travel, so someone who thinks of a vacation only as "no computer and no video games for a week" is out.

Another example, I do want to start a family, so someone who is either asexual or not wanting kids is out.

I never thought of that.

Thanks, SG!

I would like an aspie/aspie relationship, I am infact madly in love with my AS best friend and have had other aspie/aspie crushes. But the thing is my mum doesn't like the idea and always tries to disuade me especially about ever going out with my best friend. One of her worries is if I ever had kids with one and the kid got the worst of our genes and ended up autistic, and mixing genes would mean they might be double the concentration.
I would have an AS/NT relationship aswell of course, I'm not limiting myself.

Well, I had little luck with people around me so far. They all want attention, want to meet somewhere all the time, they get intimate really fast... want me to meet their friends or drag me to some house. And they're, honestly, pretty boring most of the time.

I'm not sure about AS, but I need a tech guy, that's for sure. People far from technology never get me and we generally have nothing to talk about. And people close to technology are usually a bit different.

There are different AS out there and different NT's out there. There's probably some people that are compatible both ways without sharing the disorder or lack of thereof.

Shared interests are really important, but also the world viewpoint is important, and I really don't like optimists, they seem stupid...