Online dating.

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You'll get the girls who aren't suckers for small talk and won't have sex with you on the first or second date.

I still have lingering profiles on a few dating sites, but they all suck in my opinion. I'm not paying for any of them anymore because they are a waste of money these days. I used to have really good luck with them a few years ago when they were still a fairly new concept, but in spite of the fact there are a lot more people on them today, the quality has gone waaaay down ... at least in the area where I live. Back in the day, even though the pickings were slimmer, I did well because I was able to meet interesting women from bigger cities just a few hours away. Yes it sucked to have to drive out to meet them, but I usually had a good time. Nothing permanent came of it, but I still have a lot of friends from those days. The last time I met a girl from a dating site was over two years ago.

Unfortunately, even though there are many more girls to choose from now, there are fewer and fewer that appeal to me at all... and the ones I do run across always live on the other side of the country (or world). But the worst part is, there are about three times as many guys on them as girls on any given site, and just as in real life, when there are an abundance to choose from, most women go after the alpha males. Even if they get past that, there are so many more guys from their own area to choose from, these girls don't want to bother with a possible long distance relationship anymore. And who can blame them really?

So these days when I meet people online at all, it is mostly through sites like MySpace, YouTube and forums like WP.

What's wrong with casual sex? All NT people seem to do it, and I'm missing out because I have AS? That seems to be the case and I hate it. I don't think I am serious relationship material, and I don't want to marry or start a family. I just want a girlfriend or have dates with girls who like me and are willing have sex with me. I am a good looking guy, in very good shape, smart, have a sense of humor, I have a nice car and dress well. I don't see why I should be denied what so many people seem to get easily, I deserve it too.

The problem i find with casual sex is that it lacks the emotional connection which makes it so fulfilling. At least thats how i feel about it. I would rather wait untill i know someone very well and we are a few months into a relationship before we did that. I know this will vary from person to person.

you mean they exist?

You just answered your own question.

But seriously, if you want to sleep around, you better get good at the small talk!



Hello!

Well, within a reasonable distance of me. girls that aren't suckers for small talk are so rare that you might as well play the lottery.

Maybe you're just not noticing them because when they're not sitting home, they're shutting up?

This is one of the reasons why I love online dating: that's how you meet the quiet ones who are demonstrably on the market.

I'm not saying I want to sleep around lots. I just said I want to have sexual relationships on a more casual level, IE, not marriage or a long term relationship. I am trying to get better at small talk. I have aspergers though. There are a lot of things in life that involve getting the approval of NT's. Jobs, relationships, and education to some degree. What I really want in these areas always seems to be just out of my reach. It's not a matter of just "getting good at small talk". I think I am good at small talk, but my brain doesn't function on a level where I will be the same as NT's at this. I don't think you appreciate the frustration I feel when I do everything I am supposed to do and told to do, and it doesn't work for me, yet I see people all around me succeeding.

Want sex guaranteed? Then pay for it, thats the only way, everything else is all maybes and chances. People aren't machines don't listen to what others tell you to be right all the time, I've tried that doesn't work. Anyway I wanted this to be about ONLINE DATING not sex no offense, maybe start a thread devoted to that cause.

I don't think I'm not noticing them, I think it's more that I'm not meeting them.
The numbers in online dating hugely favour women, so unfortunately while it is an avenue I would recommend to any female, it is of little use to me.
There may be an issue of location or something, but where I live girls' online profiles are of mind-numbing conformism, mediocrity, shallowness, etc.

I would never do it for many many reasons, but if sex is really all you are looking for... I have read that paying for it is probably the least expensive way to get it, when you balance the costs of one time fees for services against all the maintenance costs of relationships, even casual ones, over time.

Vs. marrige? You could spend $1000 every two weekends, for a total of $26k. How many wives would be satisfied with a $26k/yr lifestyle? OK, shallow NT wives? And how many husbands are getting it that often?

Of course, if you were then to get divorced, and have the family courts throw down one of their standard misandrous rulings, you could have paid for a top Vegas call girl every week for years for cheaper than you're going to come out, buddy.

Again, only good advice if sex is ALL you're looking for, and not too worried about STD's either.

Last edited by LoveableNerd on 25 May 2008, 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I tried online dating for a few years. Never again.

... I tried writing out different reasons why, but nothing came out the way I wanted to say it.

Try it, it may work for you... just watch your back and have people prove themselves on there.

I keep coming back to the free dating site I used to visit before I met my ex. It supposedly has thousands of profiles but no one comes close to her.
For example, if I narrow my search to "loner" types I get only 10 or 20 that last connected to the site in the past few months. . . over half of them have "going out with lots of friends" as a favourite pastime. Some of them have checked all possible personality traits.

Venting aside, I'm puzzled by people who are into online dating while "going out with lots of friends"; at least in my general area. . .
Judging from the reactions of different women/girls whenever I went out - about 20 times in my whole life - I'd probably find a girlfriend in no time had I a normal social life; and that assuming it's not exponential.
. . .no use talking about any postive traits in a void in which I don't interact at all.

replace "guy" by "girl" and you get the reason why I am reluctant to sign up for a dating site. I still hope to meet the right girl out of the blue without having to rely on a computer for it.


However, regarding the first paragraph... Don't you think online dating could also make you meet people with shared interests you'd otherwise not meet? Because in real life situations you could walk past your soulmate without knowing, while talking to 10 other people that night you have nothing in common with. Online dating and reading through profiles, only mailing those you got something in common with, is a lot easier than talking to lot of people to find out if you have things in common with. It is a bit like walking into a room with only likeminded people...

But the hope to meet the right girl in a more spontaneous way stops me a bit from signing up to dating sites.

online dating kind of pisses me off. I have girls message me... and I message back... we talk etc... and then they just stop showing interest and don't want to meet. WTF? Why would you bother messaging me? You're just looking for attention and to string someone along? Stupid.