BBW's (larger women)

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indeed you are arguing. you have generalized that all women who are overweight are killing themselves with food, which is not entirely accurate. it is not possible to be able to just look at someone's body and make assumptions about their lifestyle, health, or well-being.

truly, if you cared so much about the health of women you date, you would never date a woman who drinks alcohol... and i doubt you exclude women on that basis. so really, it is not logical for you to assert that your judgement is based on much besides aesthetics. it's always fine to have your own personal taste, but your justification that it relates to health is empty unless other aspects of health are equally important to you (like drinking alcohol - and i don't mean only true alcoholism). or do you only date abstainers?

here's are a couple of general sources about alcohol vs. obesity. the alcohol one is outdated, but even the 1992 and projected 1998 costs were far higher than the health costs of obesity and overweight :

http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/ ... 00/#table3
http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/causes/economics.html

You'd be surprised how many people think Christina Hendricks is "a big girl." In my opinion, she is clearly larger than the usual actress but her proportions are AMAZING and she is most likely just a size 10 or 12.

I am an overweight girl too, about 25-30 lbs over. I don't think I'll ever be obese cuz I am a vegetarian and I eat very healthily. I'd have to go crazy on exercise to get down to 120 though.

It's really silly to think all overweight people are overeaters and have poor habits. Some people are just made chunkier than others. Truly obese folks though...there must be something that is going wrong there. Either overeating or thyroid issues.

IMO, women are exponentially less judgmental when it comes to looks. A woman can fall in love with a man she doesn't find attractive at first blush; a man rarely becomes attracted to a woman he doesn't want at first sight. (I'd like to say men never become attracted to a woman, but there are exceptions out there.)

A woman truly can fall in love with a man's character, his values, his sense of humor, integrity, honor, long before she realizes she's become attracted to him. IMO, women tend to be more accepting of vices like smoking and drinking and carrying extra pounds. We want our men to be healthy because we love them. But we tend to care much more about whether a man is a good man, than whether he's a Greek God. Good news for all you non-Greek Gods out there.

Yeah I was thinking about this, and I'm pretty sure her BMI would put her in the obese category, and also her bodyfat percentage would be very high. I have a friend whose body proportions are like a shorter version of her and her bodyfat percentage was somewhere near 40% IIRC. Both of them look healthy and pretty fine to me. Surely there are better ways to determine health than proportions, people have very different traits.

I've dated far more women than I have dated men, and I rarely based much of anything on a woman's looks. Simply because women are difficult to define and for me it takes a while to get through to their personality. In my experience, men are much more transparent.

I can honestly say that because of how I've been treated by overweight women in the past, and how often they assume I'm judging them just as harshly as they are judging me, this often lead to me avoiding getting to know them at all and the biggest woman I ever dated was probably 160lbs at about 5'9'' and she was healthy, and a rugby player, and her body fat percentage was like 10%

My sister has never weighed below 220lbs(she's around 5'9'' as well) in her adult life, and at the same time, her body fat percentage has never gone over 15% in her adult life, which is pretty healthy for a female adult.

It's funny because I'm 5'10'' and at 18 years old I weighed all of 130lbs and had a higher body fat percentage than my sister, who was nearly double my weight. You could count most of my ribs and yet my body fat percentage was higher than hers... kind of baffling.

Weight and height can be used to estimate BMI. If only height and weight were used to calculate a person's BMI, a lot of professional athletes would be in the overweight to obese category. It's kind of silly to argue about though.

I'm fat but it's not like I eat everything in sight and don't exercise. I DO exercise every day and I actually go out a lot and walk a lot, work on my car (which is damn tiring if you're doing it the entire day and not just under the hood), play softball on a team, and other normal stuff. I run up 5 flights of stairs every day at my schools parking lot and go all about campus and it doesn't tire me out. I also eat pretty damn healthy and was a vegetarian (no not eating cake, bread and cookies all of the time) and was still fat. I also am not diabetic or have other complications do to my weight. So any guy who doesn't like it can go kiss bony ass cause there are real men out there who realize that you can be fat, beautiful, and healthy. Fat men and women can be gorgeous, as well as average or skinny men/women; it just depends on the individual.

Not liking fat women does not mean you're not a "real man"

I'm a bit confused - the women who class themselves as BBW tend to be in the very large category... ie. those with a BMI of over 40. Not those who are a size 10-12!

I'm was counted as obese with a BMI of 31 and wore a UK size 18, but I was never "big" in the BBW sense. After trying to lose weight for health reasons, I'm now just "over-weight" with a BMI of 28.5. I still weigh almost 13 stone and wear a UK size 16 now. I count myself as curvy, but do not and did not count myself as a BBW as I'm not morbidly obese.

As a bi-female, I have to agree that healthy-weight range of woman is more appealing than those who risk heart-problems from their size (those which I count as BBW), or those who risk passing out because they've never dared acknowledge the existance of a chocolate fudge cake! I think I'd spend my whole relationship with them worrying about their condition.

However, a lot of the appeal is self-confidence and if a woman is happy in herself, whatever her body shape, it's never 100% out of the question!

Last edited by amber_missy on 14 Dec 2010, 8:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

There are real men who like them and real men who don't. What's your point, and why would I want a guy who is going to reject people based on their looks? Shallow is not a quality that I want in a guy, so don't try to start nit-picking at what I write.

wow you are touchy, aren't you?

For me, I need to be physically attracted to a girl in order to want a relationship with her. If I only like her personality, then I';d just be friends with her. If looks don't matter, then why doesn't everyone just get together with their friends?

a size 10 today was a size 18 or larger in 1970, and a size 16 would have been size 24 (vanity sizing). so it could be classified as BBW. it's not a sharply-defined category.

I'm not too attracted to obese girls, but I certainly prefer chubby ones to the ones who look like skeletons.

My bf and I were just having this discussion last night. He said that the skinny anorexic type has never done anything for him. Now he is honest with me about my weight saying I am beautiful and that he is attracted to my body as it is now but if I were to lose weight, he wouldn't complain about that either since it'll make certain activities easier.

Although I told him that if I lose weight my boobs may get smaller, he made a pouting face and eventually said, "well, as long as it's in proportion with the rest of you, that's okay." Besides, it's not like I'm going to go from a large C/small D cup to flat unless I took a very drastic measure and that's something I wouldn't do.

BBW is a bit subjective. I was with a girl for 6 months who some would describe that way. Her weight did bother me though. Mainly because she was chubby at the start, but steadily gained weight. I got caught into the trap of "what will my friends think."

She is now living with some fat electrician (who I think is an idiot).

[quote="Space"]BBW is a bit subjective. I was with a girl for 6 months who some would describe that way. Her weight did bother me though. Mainly because she was chubby at the start, but steadily gained weight. I got caught into the trap of "what will my friends think."
quote]

I think that's a completely natural reaction. I wouldn't feel too bad about it, especially if you are young.

Well then, by that standard, I'm apparently a woman. I have zero attaction to women I don't know... it's only after getting to know them that I feel safe enough to open up to them, and therefore become attracted.