Is there any way out of the pain of unrequited love?

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just posted somethin similar in the haven.... going through rough times myself... i feel for you. im actually going into counseling tomorrow... i don't know what else to do cause nothin has worked for the past 2 yrs. i'm at rock bottom.

Sorry to hear about the 2 years and rock bottom! Ah! Mines only been 8 months. I think my friend has gotten the message that this is hard for me to handle and he is staying away. I feel bad for our mutual friends, but it is helping me get over it. I sometimes think that maybe later I could handle it and he could come back, but I think not. Maybe eventually I'll move on. Don't know. But for now, I'm feeling a bit better.

I hope the counseling is helpful. I look forward to hearing if it is.

Mine has been over a year, and I often wonder if she even wants to be my friend anymore. I used to hear from her every day, now it's more like once every other week--if I'm lucky. Sometimes I go over a month without ever hearing from her.

bummer!

I did hear from her a week ago, and it's possible that it may be several years before she is ready to be with anybody.

Years. That's in the you never know category. I'm thinking I won't be ready for a year, but I would give it a go with this guy if he were interested, because I'm interested. These things don't always go on schedule. Still, it's true, people have things to take care of at times.

I tried this on for size, but can't really go with it because I want to be a more loving person and I'm thinking this won't help. Although he has his flaws, he's a really good person, and his weaknesses are just part of what makes him him. So what I've decided to go with instead is to stop worrying about whether he ever could have or could love me and just forget it and if it's going to happen well that will be news at that time. When he comes up in my mind, I stop the thinking instead by wishing him well, saying a kind of prayer about him and then refocusing on my own life as it is now. I know what you mean though, I have had past relationships where I eventually see the guy more realistacally and realize he's really not for me, no way. WHAT WAS I THINKING! It's easier to see them then. But I don't feel capable of forcing that state of mind to come over me. The Let Go and Let God, thing and the stop thinking by wishing him well seem to working pretty good now. (But I do see the merit in your point, as a getting back on track with the reality of my life kind of thing. Thanks.)

I betcha he feels the exact same way....

Usually if the breakup or rejection isn't overly emotional or dramatic, the ex-partner will choose to remain friends. That happened in my case with the unrequited love i've been feeling for 6 years.

No

[quote="ToadOfSteel"]Usually if the breakup or rejection isn't overly emotional or dramatic, the ex-partner will choose to remain friends. That happened in my case with the unrequited love i've been feeling for 6 years.[/quote

Exactly. My first ex and I are still good friends, (albeit it took about a year or so to finally get things back on track) she came over and spent the day before Christmas eve and the day before easter with me this past school year. It was fun. her family is wonderful, and her youngest sister thinks of me as a brother, which is kind of cool. She got me a Christmas gift which was a bit unexpected, because I didn't expect anything, though there is a back story to this. I dyed my hair blond during first semester about October, she wasn't happy, my sister wasn't happy, and the girl at the time I was dating wasn't happy, she threatened to come down there and cut my hair....so anyhoz, she comes over at xmas and hands me a border's gift card and says, "It was either this, or a box of brown (my normal hair color) hair dye, I thought the card was nicer." Yeah. she's fun to be around.

In my opinon, it's better not to cut the bridge behind you, because you could still be friends.

I found out from one of my friends yesterday on Ichat (Mac vide0 Chat for the Non Mac People here ) that one of her friends got back with her ex and said that within the year those two will probably be married. ::Sigh: right.

Anyhow. My point here is that anythign is possible.

Just wait.

She graduates from college next week, and I am worried about losing her as a friend forever. I sent her an e-mail the day before yesterday, but she never replied.

Better to have loved then not have tried at all. (I think that's how the quote is?)

I think it's "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".

And this is just to keep a *friendship* going.

well......then like I said with the quote, its the fact that you think it's wroth it that hopefully she'll see that.

yes.

Last edited by chamoisee on 12 Aug 2008, 11:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.