Staying Single: Why do people look down on it?

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For a long time I thought girls did not like me in high school simply because I did not have a social scene. My high school was Thomas Stone in Waldorf Maryland and I was a stealth Stone, if you consider McDonalds, swimming pools, or dances as radar, except for one freshman Halloween dance, I was NOT on radar. AT ALL.

I kind of hated Wham's song Careless Whisper because "I've never gonna dance again" and the song is about the same point in chronological time.

I was kind of screw you-ish on the way up to West Virginia transferring high schools. Dad retired from the Federal government when our house sold and we lived permanently in a vacation house Dad bought before I was born. (Score one for my super intelligent financial planning possible Aspie deceased late Dad, although he was so invested to his 30 year retirement plan he would not let my brother go to college with me after Mom made me live on campus- "the money isn't there (if we live 30 years)"- I understand, it could happen, but Dad only had 9 years retirement and Mom 15)

BUT THE ABSENCE OF SOCIAL SCENES WITH WOMEN DOES NOT MEAN THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU...... (as friends)

I got creative art card from one from one (drawn quite well)
I had friends in Spanish classes: the best of these was in three Spanish classes, two Latin classes, honors civics, honors chemistry, and physics-- I seemed to attract women with brains

There is a 20 year reunion in 3 weeks

smart man + smart woman = romance
smart man + dumb woman = affair
dumb man + smart woman = golddigger
dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

I only get light pressure from my parents, they understand my social difficulties but they make it a point that every time I go somewhere with them to tell me about all the pretty waitresses and such that were "looking at me". I think they tell me that to try to increase my self esteem. What they want from me, and they will admit this, are grand children. They already have a few grandchildren from their other kids. I guess they won't be satisfied until they have at least 50 grandchildren.

I think it is how much you invest in the relationship (the work they always talk about).

I think you get out what you put in.

I never got the idea that when you reached a certain age, you lost your family and only could get one by marrying and reproducing, or that if you did, thatw as your family, and not those your related to and were raised bye. Why someone is single is really noone elses business, possible with the exception of someone that is interested in you, but then perhaps only if you like them back. Yes I would love some cute animefangirl, but I rather wait for her then be miserable with the wrong person. and saddly, sometimes being with the wrong person is so much worse then being alone. Though I do like being alone as well. And somepeople do get married are have wonderful relationships. My own grandparents, paraents, uncles andaunts are doing fine.

First of all, whether you choose to be single or not, that is entirely YOUR choice. Your mother, your grandmother, your friends, they have no control over what you do in your life, and if they are so immature that they think you're a lesbian or insuinate it, then they're pathetic, to put it tactfully. If you try to please the world or live up to others expectations, you will not be happy because you will not be acting like yourself.

I have been single probably longer than you probably, 21 years straight, and although I have tried at romance and have never gotten the oppurtunity, the problem if not me, you just have to give it a try. Sure there is a risk involved, but isn't life just a big risk? You know, if you're single, that's just fine, you don't have to justify your life to anyone. Hope this helps.

I have analyzed relationships for years, while having a few terrible relationships and while being single. My conclusion is that marriage and relationships are all just about using one another. Some people marry to get money, money so they never have to work or just more money from a spouse who has a good job and dependable cashflow. Almost all couples use each other for sex. Yeah sure people our grandparents age stayed married for life...but why did they do that? The men married for free sex, the women married so they would be taken care of and not have to work. People couple up today again to use each other for sex, money and of course rent is cheaper if you share it.

That said why get in a relationship? There honestly is no such thing as love like we are brainwashed to believe in and long for. People don't love. Its either sexual lust or its a matter of what can the other person give you that you don't already have. I think for some its also because they are weak and scared to go it alone in life.

For those of us that chose singleness we are often met with jealousy by our coupled friends and co-workers who are miserable and b***h all day long about how bad their life is. Sure a few people couple up because they honestly enjoy each other's company. But if you observe people like I do then you see 99.9% of people get into relationships for selfish reasons.

Why do people look down on it?

Two words: Peer Pressure

I got married partly because I wanted a home and a family. As a child of 3 divorces that was a lifelong wish.

I don't know that I agree marriage equals stupidity. I'd replace the word stupidity with optimism. Lol.

Love and relationships in this culture are highly valued. People can often make negative assumptions about if you arent married or in a relationship and you are of a certain age. Look at the media, relationships is huge. Its sorta seen in a traditional sense, you are suppose to date and eventully get married at a certain age.

Right now Im 19 and I do have a boyfriend though my parents dont know about cause he's way older then me and they'd freak. The less they know the better. As far as my parents know, in there minds I dont date, I never have and Im completely inexperianced. My family has the idea that if your going to school, dating and realtionships arent all that important yet, education is. Boyfriends or girlfriends can be distractions. So its fine, no pressure. Once I finish college, am in my mid 20s and still dont have a boyfriend that they know about, then they'll put pressure on me.

As for my friends, they know I have a boyfriend and most think Im crazy for dating a guy twice my age so whatever. They'd probably perfer me to be single.

Yeah, I'd rather be single than date a 40yr old as well.

Seriously, if you don't find someone, you get pressure.
If you find someone and they are too old/too young, you get pressure.
If they don't like the way the look or the way they act, you get pressure.
It's a marathon