13 Sep 2008, 7:56 am
Wilco wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
What really increases your rejection-count is not knowing how or when to ask for a date. If you keep asking incorrectly, your failures will just keep piling up. Has anyone ever heard of a thing called emotional traction?
And it is also about knowing which girl might say yes and which girl will DEFENITLY say no.
Exactly.
13 Sep 2008, 7:58 am
[/quote]
A rectal polyp, as seen from inside the patient's body.
13 Sep 2008, 8:01 am
13 Sep 2008, 8:13 am
ToadOfSteel wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
A rectal polyp, as seen from inside the patient's body.
I didn't need that imagery... I still play Oblivion from time to time...
13 Sep 2008, 8:52 am
13 Sep 2008, 11:13 am
13 Sep 2008, 11:37 am
13 Sep 2008, 12:01 pm
13 Sep 2008, 12:10 pm
13 Sep 2008, 1:18 pm
13 Sep 2008, 3:18 pm
13 Sep 2008, 4:54 pm
AutisticMalcontent wrote:
I'll take the courtesy of answering some of your replies:
You only asked out 10-12 girls? did you seriously expect to get a girlfriend after asking only 12 girls out? Seriously, no wonder you're so frustrated, you've put all your hopes of relationship on the shoulders of 12 girls. There's almost 7 billion people in the world and you asked out only 12 people and you gave up. That's your problem right there.
even If you said you had been asking 12 girls a year, I'd say the same thing.
Yes, I seriously did expect to get a girlfriend after 10-12 girls, perhaps even before I hit 10-12. Why? Because 10-12 attempts are more than enough to get a girlfriend, if you've done your homework and you know how to go about things charismatically.
That is my belief, how many rejections does it take before a guy gets a gf usually? 1,2,3, perhaps 4, 5 or 6 tops, but certainly not 10-12. Yes, I did place my hopes of a relationship on 12 girls, you could say I did a sampling, drawing conclusions from a small group of a majority, in this case being women. Yes, it is a generalization, yes, it is unfair, but I have drawn my bias conclusions and I will ardently stick to them until proven otherwise. Where is your objectivity when you have been dissapointed and have an emotional bias? True, there are 7 billion people on this planet, numerous oppurtunities, but what makes one so optimistic about such figures? What makes people trust so deeply in this abstract idea called "romantic love". I wonder...
They want to be pampered and yet they mock us (nice guys/aspies/slightly autistic) by rejecting us. How ironic and at the same time how revolting. You seem wise and knowledgable, so I will give your words much consideration, perhaps I can do well by them. Yes, when you are a nice guy, you can easily lose self esteem? Why? Because you don't expect dissapointment and when something dissapoints you, it comes as a suprise, although you know in the back of your mind that it could happen. Because you are nice by nature, you get angry at yourself for not being assertive or aggressive, which leads to lower self esteem. Avoidance and annoyance of people is easy for any autistic, we avoid because we don't understand people and we become annoyed at them because we think their behavior is rude and primitive at times, which goes against our good nature. Another generalization, but I believe it holds some water.
Simple enough advice, but what girl cares for a recluse?
Beauty only means so much, beauty without intelligence is worthless. I don't want the creme de le creme of women, I want a cute/moderately attractive female, not some big breasted blonde or brunette. You are right "They make look good on outside, but are they that way on the inside? Someone who isn't very attractive on the outside may be attractive on the inside" Samson and Delilah all over again. But in order to be attracted to anyone, there has to be some level of physical attraction, no?
alex wrote:
AutisticMalcontent wrote:
I've been single all my life (21 years). Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school, I asked about 10-12 girls or so in that duration. All of them rejected me
You only asked out 10-12 girls? did you seriously expect to get a girlfriend after asking only 12 girls out? Seriously, no wonder you're so frustrated, you've put all your hopes of relationship on the shoulders of 12 girls. There's almost 7 billion people in the world and you asked out only 12 people and you gave up. That's your problem right there.
even If you said you had been asking 12 girls a year, I'd say the same thing.
Yes, I seriously did expect to get a girlfriend after 10-12 girls, perhaps even before I hit 10-12. Why? Because 10-12 attempts are more than enough to get a girlfriend, if you've done your homework and you know how to go about things charismatically.
That is my belief, how many rejections does it take before a guy gets a gf usually? 1,2,3, perhaps 4, 5 or 6 tops, but certainly not 10-12. Yes, I did place my hopes of a relationship on 12 girls, you could say I did a sampling, drawing conclusions from a small group of a majority, in this case being women. Yes, it is a generalization, yes, it is unfair, but I have drawn my bias conclusions and I will ardently stick to them until proven otherwise. Where is your objectivity when you have been dissapointed and have an emotional bias? True, there are 7 billion people on this planet, numerous oppurtunities, but what makes one so optimistic about such figures? What makes people trust so deeply in this abstract idea called "romantic love". I wonder...
ZakFiend wrote:
I've been there, you're going to have to make a choice what kind of life you want to live. I've always been torn between my love for knowledge/learning and doing what I want, and being tied down to relationships where other people need constant attention. Women on the whole compared to aspies, need a lot of what might be considered "babying" to some aspies (i.e. we don't need to do lots of things together, etc, to maintain our feelings for others, they are 'always on'), this doesn't mean we don't love people, it just means some of us love in a different way.
Decide what you want and if you're serious about changing your life I got many years of experience on the people in this forum and I know what works because I've went through the process.
Your biggest problem sounds like self-esteem and generally being avoidant/annoyed by people
Decide what you want and if you're serious about changing your life I got many years of experience on the people in this forum and I know what works because I've went through the process.
Your biggest problem sounds like self-esteem and generally being avoidant/annoyed by people
They want to be pampered and yet they mock us (nice guys/aspies/slightly autistic) by rejecting us. How ironic and at the same time how revolting. You seem wise and knowledgable, so I will give your words much consideration, perhaps I can do well by them. Yes, when you are a nice guy, you can easily lose self esteem? Why? Because you don't expect dissapointment and when something dissapoints you, it comes as a suprise, although you know in the back of your mind that it could happen. Because you are nice by nature, you get angry at yourself for not being assertive or aggressive, which leads to lower self esteem. Avoidance and annoyance of people is easy for any autistic, we avoid because we don't understand people and we become annoyed at them because we think their behavior is rude and primitive at times, which goes against our good nature. Another generalization, but I believe it holds some water.
KyleTheGhost wrote:
My sympathies, pal. I myself have never had any real romance in my life. However, when I was in school, I really wasn't ready for it. I haven't given up on the idea of it, but if it doesn't happen, then so be it. ZakFiend has a good point. If you still want to try, then do what I'm going to do: Find someone who likes you for yourself. Also, don't go for someone just because they are good-looking. They make look good on outside, but are they that way on the inside? Someone who isn't very attractive on the outside may be attractive on the inside.
Simple enough advice, but what girl cares for a recluse?
Beauty only means so much, beauty without intelligence is worthless. I don't want the creme de le creme of women, I want a cute/moderately attractive female, not some big breasted blonde or brunette. You are right "They make look good on outside, but are they that way on the inside? Someone who isn't very attractive on the outside may be attractive on the inside" Samson and Delilah all over again. But in order to be attracted to anyone, there has to be some level of physical attraction, no?Autistic Malcontent, I do agree that physical attraction DOES help, but what I was saying is that physical attraction shouldn't be the ONLY reason to be attracted to someone. All it really does is get the interest started.
13 Sep 2008, 6:57 pm
13 Sep 2008, 7:25 pm
I never gave up on love as much as I gave up on myself, which might as well be the same things as giving up on love.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HejVjzhKTY[/youtube]
13 Sep 2008, 8:02 pm
13 Sep 2008, 8:47 pm
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