Butterflair wrote:
Emoal6 wrote:
Also understand that he has prolly been thrown around by girls, and not in a good way! We aspies do not get clung onto, or swooned for. We dont have a flock of seagulls trying to eat bread out of our hand. We dont even have a girl who says you look cute to us, 9 out of 10 times. We are seen as wierd, different, not as intriguing or intresting. He's shy, and inexperienced from what I read here.
I have to disagree with this. Some aspies do get clung onto and are swooned over and they don't want it. I'm one example and I know of another. When an NT girl falls for an Aspie, it's very hard to give him up as the OP has said. You don't want anyone else. You also don't know where you stand. One day things are going great and you feel on top of the world, the next he hardly acts like you are there.
Quote:
Basically, I still feel like I've gotten nowhere. If he's going to do the defense mechanism thing whenever I sincerely admit my feelings for him and not respond appropriately or explicitly reciprocate any feelings back, it's going to get on my nerves and make me want to give up on him. However, I'm so smitten by this guy that I can't imagine giving up on him. I can't stop thinking about him and want him more than anything, and to make it worse, I don't know what I mean to him because I can't break past his barriers. I'm easily at risk of becoming his doormat because I'm letting him interrupt my life so much while I'm pretty sure he's not letting me interrupt his. He's just going on with his own life as usual, I think.
This statement is so true I could have written it. I don't know what I mean to my aspie, I probably already am his doormat and my life has been so interrupted over the last 3 years, I rearrange everything just to spend time with him and he seems to give up nothing. It's like an addiction. My head tells me to walk away, it's too confusing, my heart says no.
My advice to you suebear is to write him a letter, be very clear about your feelings and what you want. Then take the lead, ask him out. Just don't push too hard too fast. Go to dinner, go see a movie, you'll probably have to lead most of the way. If you really want him then go get him. Give the other guy a wait. Give this one a chance.
I don't know about aspie guys, but I do know that as an aspie girl as of this year i get hit on a LOT. I'm not sure if it's normal for girls to get hit on this much and maybe it just seems like a lot to me cause i didn't get hit on before. But yeah, unless i purposefully try to shrug them off I can get hit on by several guys a day, and often different ones each day. Sometimes I find it flattering, but often I find it overwhelming and I don't know how to take it. I like being friends with guys (when i say friends, i don't mean to use them cause i hate that, i mean mutual equal friends) but i can't deal with guys i've barely met hitting on me to the extent they do. I often don't know what to do, and generally end up in fight or flight mode. Do any other aspie girls have this?
And suebear, I think if you open up and told him how you felt, and he responded in that way, then probably the best thing to do is to lay low for a while and see what happens. Aspie or no, if he's really into you then he won't want to let things go like that, and after a while he won't be able to stand it any longer and he will contact you if you don't contact him.
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Into the dark...
11 Oct 2008, 5:56 pm
