12 Jan 2009, 1:34 am
I've always had a thing for the bronzed skin, and brunette. Like some of my friends I have. One of them is hot and she knows I like her. Planning to see her this year. Dating a girl with intelligence is great 
You can swap opinions and you know that you are with another person and interesting conversations
12 Jan 2009, 1:48 am
12 Jan 2009, 11:27 am
12 Jan 2009, 12:33 pm
12 Jan 2009, 1:05 pm
I think the main reason why AS guys prefer people of a different culture is due to the language barrier. Maybe it's easier to be with someone who doesn't request you to talk so much, especially about feelings and such.
There must be some reason why AS guys prefer to date outside their race. It can't all be coincidental. There are many unconscious drives which propel us into relationships which we are unaware of for the most part.
A friend of mine bought a Chinese wife not too long ago. After living together for a short while she started to get very demanding. He said that she wanted to buy too many nice things for the house which he wasn't used to. The reason he said he liked Asian women is because he thought they weren't as demanding as American women. People of the same culture typically expect the same things.
If AS men aren't fond of their own culture then it seems logical to date someone outside of it.
As for Black women and AS guys...I think it's a match made in heaven. I can't help but think about Larry David (who has AS traits)
and his empowered and over protective black girlfriend.
Yo, I is dating a well fit Colombian girl, innit? Booyakasha!
I wouldn't say that I have bought her, as I haven't sent her any money. I've bought her a birthday present, but I'm still working out how to send it to her, as her half-brother says the postal system is very unreliable. I would quickly become suspicious if she started asking me for money, but she seems to be a girl who isn't entirely comfortable accepting money from a man. When I told her I had bought her a present, she seemed uneasy and expressed regret that she will not be able to repay the favour anytime soon, as if I were expecting her to do so.
I speak fluent Spanish and so there is no suggestion that she expects any less dialogue from me. However, contrary to the stereotypes of mail-order bride relationships (which I don't believe mine is), I don't know how good her English is, because we always seem to talk in Spanish.
To all the eugenics people out there, if I get married to her, I intend to have children with her. How many children we intentionally try for will depend on these factors: -
1) Her willingness to continue bearing me children
2) My capacity to provide for them
3) Our capacity to cope with the physical demands of looking after them
If any of my children turn out to be a chip off the old block in terms of having Asperger's syndrome, I will raise them to be no-nonsense people who won't tolerate people messing them around and who doesn't feel that they have to graciously accept the first person interested in them because as they have Asperger's syndrome, no-one will want them. I will teach them that they don't have to tolerate mediocrity in love interests any more than anyone else and that they should be as picky as is necessary to find the right person.
I would reproduce even if it were the case that all children born to autistic men were on the spectrum themselves. As far as I'm concerned, if my girlfriend is willing to bear me children if and when we get married and I'm willing to father them and we are able to look after them, that is the important matter.
12 Jan 2009, 1:45 pm
Some comments --
First, to the person who said that we should keep stupid people from reproducing -- this doesn't make sense, as until we are a completely white-collar/intellectual job-oriented society, we will always need people across the spectrum, even stupid ones, to do things like work in fast food, janitorial work, and other mundane tasks that many intelligent people would be very unhappy in. I know it sounds very much like "Brave New World," but it's the truth that we will probably have the tiered intelligence structure of society (with a job for each level of intelligence) for the foreseeable future.
Regarding foreign wives/GFs and AS --
Lots of ways to look at this. A very pessimistic and negative view (not one that I necessarily subscribe too, but should still be mentioned) could be that everyone seeks the highest value spouse they can get, and in the case of many foreign women, who are dealing with cultural and racial prejudices in some cases and language barriers as well, a white or Asian AS man with all of the handicaps associated might still be more worth it in terms of income, family support, getting citizenship, etc. For the man, he is getting a NT woman with what usually is a more conservative and pro-masculine cultural background that tends to respect the quiet, masculine man, and who is more willing to do more work in the relationship (laundry, cooking, housework, etc). A foreign wife might also be clingier (the man is her tenuous connection to the new country) and less likely to bail on the relationship, so that provides the AS man with a sense of security.
On the other hand, this might just be the case for many men, AS, NT, or otherwise who just have issues with American feminist culture and have social issues in general relating to that. In this case AS are just one sliver of an overall phenomenon of men with women issues when it comes to native-born women.
I myself only have weak AS symptoms, and my GF's have been almost entirely Asian (my wife is Latina, foreign born, but English was her native language in the country she was from, Belize), but only half of them were foreign -- the others were native born or might as well have been. There's something that's a nice change of pace sometimes with foreign women -- everything is new, you get to be the "expert" for once on your own culture (as opposed to being semi-incompetent with NT folks and native-born). With women of other ethnicities, it might be the exotic thing, or just that they don't remind you of your sisters. My sisters are pretty, so pretty much every attractive white chick tends to remind me of them, something I don't find very alluring. With Asian women, black women, hispanic women, there's no reminder of that, and I particularly like Asian women's thin bone structure and low body fat, just my tastes (and I also appreciate voluptuous women in other ethnicities as well, so I'm not just into unrealistic figures -- my wife is petite but also well-curved). This being said, I have liked white women, it just never worked out that we ended up dating. I also liked native-born, because there are bonuses as well to being with someone who had a common cultural frame of reference and no language barrier or cultural issues.
So, I think it's just a toss-up -- lots of reasons why guys are with foreign women, but no universal rule, as AS men are all over the spectrum in terms of their value (both externally perceived and self-perceived) in the dating arena, and what their own personal tastes are. For some of us, foreign women are a comfort or a crutch, for some of us they're exotic, and for some of us it's just the way things turned out. We're just normal guys when it comes to dating, and just like all guys, we roll the dice and get what the fates steer our way (unless of course we shopped for our wives on a catalog )
12 Jan 2009, 5:09 pm
12 Jan 2009, 5:24 pm
12 Jan 2009, 5:36 pm
I like aggressive women... they could help balance out my non-aggression. Why do women ALWAYS have to act introverted, and men ALWAYS have to be extroverted?
12 Jan 2009, 5:42 pm
Why do women ALWAYS have to act introverted, and men ALWAYS have to be extroverted?because that's what society dictates, so go with it or get off the planet
12 Jan 2009, 5:46 pm
12 Jan 2009, 5:48 pm
12 Jan 2009, 5:53 pm
First, to the person who said that we should keep stupid people from reproducing -- this doesn't make sense, as until we are a completely white-collar/intellectual job-oriented society, we will always need people across the spectrum, even stupid ones, to do things like work in fast food, janitorial work, and other mundane tasks that many intelligent people would be very unhappy in. I know it sounds very much like "Brave New World," but it's the truth that we will probably have the tiered intelligence structure of society (with a job for each level of intelligence) for the foreseeable future.
Regarding foreign wives/GFs and AS --
Lots of ways to look at this. A very pessimistic and negative view (not one that I necessarily subscribe too, but should still be mentioned) could be that everyone seeks the highest value spouse they can get, and in the case of many foreign women, who are dealing with cultural and racial prejudices in some cases and language barriers as well, a white or Asian AS man with all of the handicaps associated might still be more worth it in terms of income, family support, getting citizenship, etc. For the man, he is getting a NT woman with what usually is a more conservative and pro-masculine cultural background that tends to respect the quiet, masculine man, and who is more willing to do more work in the relationship (laundry, cooking, housework, etc). A foreign wife might also be clingier (the man is her tenuous connection to the new country) and less likely to bail on the relationship, so that provides the AS man with a sense of security.
On the other hand, this might just be the case for many men, AS, NT, or otherwise who just have issues with American feminist culture and have social issues in general relating to that. In this case AS are just one sliver of an overall phenomenon of men with women issues when it comes to native-born women.
I myself only have weak AS symptoms, and my GF's have been almost entirely Asian (my wife is Latina, foreign born, but English was her native language in the country she was from, Belize), but only half of them were foreign -- the others were native born or might as well have been. There's something that's a nice change of pace sometimes with foreign women -- everything is new, you get to be the "expert" for once on your own culture (as opposed to being semi-incompetent with NT folks and native-born). With women of other ethnicities, it might be the exotic thing, or just that they don't remind you of your sisters. My sisters are pretty, so pretty much every attractive white chick tends to remind me of them, something I don't find very alluring. With Asian women, black women, hispanic women, there's no reminder of that, and I particularly like Asian women's thin bone structure and low body fat, just my tastes (and I also appreciate voluptuous women in other ethnicities as well, so I'm not just into unrealistic figures -- my wife is petite but also well-curved). This being said, I have liked white women, it just never worked out that we ended up dating. I also liked native-born, because there are bonuses as well to being with someone who had a common cultural frame of reference and no language barrier or cultural issues.
So, I think it's just a toss-up -- lots of reasons why guys are with foreign women, but no universal rule, as AS men are all over the spectrum in terms of their value (both externally perceived and self-perceived) in the dating arena, and what their own personal tastes are. For some of us, foreign women are a comfort or a crutch, for some of us they're exotic, and for some of us it's just the way things turned out. We're just normal guys when it comes to dating, and just like all guys, we roll the dice and get what the fates steer our way (unless of course we shopped for our wives on a catalog
)Some of the points made here are valid, but sometimes the opposite can be true. For instance, some foreign wives may be more inclined to return to their home country when she is extremely isolated. An Antipodean I know told me about how when her only friend in this country left for Australia (abducting her children in the process), doing the same thing all of a sudden seemed very attractive for her. Similarly, a Swiss woman I know of who is married to an AS Australian man (Katrin Bentley) talked in her book (Alone Together) about how she was very close to doing the same partly because her husband was a difficult man to live with and partly because of the isolation.
The part about income and nationality has always been true. In the days when there were few jobs in the formal world of work open to women, many women would have happily tolerated a man's idiosyncrasies to enjoy the financial security he could offer them. Also, I have a relative who got married to his first wife to get a British passport.
My hispanic girlfriend seems to be very skinny and with a nice figure, but despite weighing only 47kg, she is still unhappy with her body. Even though I live so far away from her, I still feel responsible for this.
The theory in the first paragraph is just like the "Gods and Clods" theory proposed by Gerald Broflovsky in the South Park episode "Chickenpox".
I am not opposed to feminism per se, but being a religious man, I feel that many aspects of modern feminism run contrary to the teachings of God. My girlfriend views herself as being struggling against the macho society she lives in and although she claims that she is a shy character, she definitely isn't a girl who would allow a man to mess her around. I think this is a good thing, as I want any daughters I have to grow up with both parents showing them what a harmonious and godly relationship is like and I want both of us to teach them to be assertive and how to not let men mess them around. I would be really upset if any of my daughters got into unpleasant relationships and then it dawned on me that her lack of judgement resulted from me messing around her mother in front of her.
As I am a Christian man, I expect my girlfriend to be obedient to me if we get married, because this is what God instructs. However, conversely, my part in a godly relationship is that I love her significantly more than I love myself and a godly man will not give his wife an order unless that order is founded in his love for her and God. Also, I want her to be obedient to me in marriage because God gives us plans and he gives us these plans because they are his recipe for a godly and happy marriage. My part of the bargain is that as the leader of the family, I accept full responsibility for the success or failure of the family and not just blame the world, as many evangelical Christians tend to do. I said all this to my girlfriend and her response was that she thinks I am well-grounded.
12 Jan 2009, 6:00 pm
12 Jan 2009, 6:05 pm
12 Jan 2009, 6:08 pm
AS guys are not at all like NT guys when it comes to dating. There is a much larger percentage of AS men preferring women outside of their race and there must be a reason for that.
I don't think it's coincidental.
Maybe ... just maybe ... there is a mutual attraction in operation here ... d'ya think? Believe it or not, my wife actually likes me (she loves me, of course), and so do her family and friends. For some strangely unfathomable reason, the Philippine culture seems to include an appreciation for soft-spoken, well-behaved men who are intelligent, hard-working, and honest.
Yeah ... weird huh? That any woman would fall for a guy with such esoteric qualities is a constant source of amazement.
And believe it or not, my spine and "family jewels" are still intact and firmly attached!
What is the part about your spine and family jewels meant to imply in the context of your marital relationship? I'm not sure I have quite grasped your point.
My prelationships with Euro-American women seems to have always involved some form of domination (nagging, belittlement, criticism, nagging, deprecation, insult, nagging, et cetera), and that any man who tolerates such abuse is either spineless, a eunuch, or both.
Thus, many of my Euro-American acquaintences who know about how well my wife and I get along often try to imply that I am "whipped" in some way - because that seems to be the only kind of man-woman relationship that they understand.
A relationship based on mutual respect, trust, love, and understanding? With a Euro-American woman? Me?
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