Just curious, why it is that a male has to..

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I asked my last bf out: he was v shy and introverted. I spent the entire relationship 'mothering' him (that is, being both the 'strong' one in the relationship, plus the one who did all the talking and emotional stuff). He spent the entire time being passive and not generally bothering his ass.

I wouldn't mind asking a guy out if I knew he'd pull his weight in the relationship, but there are people out there (male and female) who, if you show interest in them first, will make you do all the work as it's 'your' relationship.

When NT's talk about "being a man," they really mean conforming to their shallow cultural ideal and abandoning who you are. I'd rather be alone than become some NT cardboard cut-out.

I guess that's just the way things are. It totally alienates males who are socially impaired. That's why most are always alone. They don't have the ability to do what other males are expected to do. This is also a reason why girls who are socially impaired have an easier time getting a date as opposed to a male. Because at least she doesn't have to do the asking and usually guys would come to her. Finding girls who come to guys is very rare and for as long as that unwritten rule remains, we will have no success at all. I've tried to find and learn of ways to get girls to come to me but it's a futile effort. I may like the girl but for as long as I don't approach her, she probably thinks I don't like or have any interest her even though I may. Back in the old days, girls were taught that, if a guy really liked her, he'd go after her and she wouldn't have to do anything. A rule that kills those with any form of autism.

I always take the initiative now whenever I come across someone interesting.

But oftentimes, relationships don't materialize because the other person is unwilling to compromise. The example I use is one where despite me keeping my integrity, and being nice to her, and not pressuring her to do anything she didn't want to do, she shot me down because I didn't live in the same town.

look thats the way it has been beacuse females are seen as objects to some people and there is the fact that well
A. men are supposed to be assertive (supposedly)
b. men carry on the family name
c. guys are usually well more
while girls are and shy
just the way people are used to. what would you do if a girl came up and asked you on a date as a girl?? honestly i have been asked out by girls but its beacause of the agressiveness that is usually asscerted (spelled wrong) by men.
testosterone vs. estrogen
.......end transmission

Wow, what a lot of clueless guys, there are only a couple that actually get it.
The reason males should take the lead (according to both biology and tradition) is because women are the ones who will get pregnant and care for the child. Therefore we need someone we can trust (if a woman asks a man out, she can't be sure he's really into her or he's just going along for the ride), and also we need our partners to be at least somewhat confident so they can handle any threat that may arise, ie look out for us when we're vulnerable w/ child. Yes, this is a simplification, but that's how it is. If you don't have the courage to even make your feelings know to a woman (ie by asking her out), then how will you handle more serious responsibilities?

And yes, there are lots of girls who ask out guys, but they are just looking for fun, not commitment.

My opinion: Because women are selfish and like to manipulate men and men will do anything to get laid.

-edit- Actually the above refers more to why the man has to pay for dates and act chivalrous, ect. I just read the OP and that is not exactly what they were talking about. Sorry, I made a snap judgement.

It has been like this since the beginning of time when cavemen would beat them over the head with a club and drag them to their cave and start a family. It's probably encoded in our DNA that this is the way it should be, and if not then it's tradition. Of course, the sport of dating has changed since civility was brought and integrated as part of society and a rule to living, but the idea has not. We are the agressors still, and will always be. More and more women are starting to change that by pursuing rather than being pursued, but for the most part it's all on us. That's just the way it is.