Never had a girl friend.

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The basic love shyness profile kind of fits for me, but I'm not sure that's much of an achievement since nearly any straight guy who has stayed single that long is bound to be anxious with women. I'm not sure what comes first. The man he then goes on to describe is not really like me at all, except I don't have a sister.

Yes.

Edit: Just noticed I am an schizoid. As In I have exactly all the traits, not like AS or other things in which it is only the half.

Would it help you to know that Brian Gilmartin is an idiot?

Them dern kids ruined it... that's what!

If those juvenile delinquents.... Romeo and Juliet had minded their folks, none of this would've ever happened!!

I mean really, as I keep reading the article, I am now shocked. That's exactly me.

i jus broke up with mine. it lasted month which is forever in highschool time. i broke up with her. its k man. ull find one. they wont come to u. befreind em first. girls r friends with other girls. thats how u get to know em. dont act wierd and strange. be wicked chill. trust me, it works.

I been on one date in my life. I felt very uncomfortable doing it. My other problems are that lot of the girls I like are in relationships. The other problem is I hung out with other animation students all day and they are odd balls like me and I am hesitant to try to start one with another crazy like me. Then my blindness to subtext.

This is a common issue for young guys, because a lot of women at that age tend to go from one relationship to another almost without pause. For women at that point, there's ample supply of men, and usually she has another guy or so lined up in case the relationship goes sour....

....and that's where you come in. Stay friends with women who are in relationships, and resist the urge to give up on it because "she's already taken, and thus of no good use to me." Women can smell an opportunist or someone only interested in them for a physical relationship. This isn't to say you should be her little pet guy friend who hangs around her all the time and gives her a shoulder to cry from -- far from it, because this will make you that close friend who she sees as a brother rather than a romantic interest. Maintain some distance, but stay friendly and cordial, and check in on her now and then. She'll get curious about you, build up some interest about you, and eventually, when and if her current relationship ends, you'll be at the top of the list.

Btw, the whole power dynamic changes when you (and them) are near 30 -- womens interest changes around the early 20s in what they look for in a guy (assets, reliability, kindness, a future), so if you just work on improving yourself in the interrim, I promise they will be throwing themselves at you by your late 20s, if you've done your homework.

Why is he an idiot? I have no interest in him one way or another, but I'm curious as to the genesis of this statement.

Read that wiki article further...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyne ... s_writings

It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't trying to pass it off as science anyway, but that is what makes him an idiot in my eyes...

here is an article about a new movie. maybe a group date to watch it when it comes out on DVD might be just the way to break the ice and open doors??

http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/01/22/ ... yers-adam/

Merle

I see your point. That being said, the observational data he has on Love Shy men could still very well be valid. Even an idiot can stumble on a gold nugget and polish it. I've met men like the ones he describes, and they match the description pretty well, including the whole liking instrumental scores from movies, and not having female siblings. Heck, it even reminds me of my Dad a bit -- lucky for him (and me), he got roped in!

Why not look at an actual disorder instead: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_p ... y_disorder

Yeah, that one is me, to some extent. Hard to tell what came first -- the disorder, and thus the bad times socially, or the bad social experiences that left the disorder (once burned, twice shy). I've figured out how to live my life fairly happily though, been married for almost 11 years, had some conquests, and am able to have fun. Everyone on this thread should be able to get a GF -- you just have to want it enough to make some life changes and confront your fears.

If I felt I knew what I needed to change, I would consider it.

Let me qualify you a little (as if you were a sale) and ask you some questions. I read your earlier responses.

Do you meet a lot of women during the average year, or do you meet somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-5 at work and school, and then concentrate on the one or two you like from that group, out of the total pool of women you know?

When you meet a woman, are you able to detect indicators that might determine whether she likes you vs. her just being polite?

In your friendships with women, what do you talk about, and under what circumstances do you meet?

Also, how old are you? Do you live with anyone?

I used to have a similar problem to yours, but after making some fixes, life improved very quickly. It was knowing exactly what to fix that seemed to be the tipping point.