Another year gone, still alone...

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I have one point, and I feel like I've never been further from winning.

Yeah sorry, I didn't mean that to sound really bitchy or anything. I just don't see how you can win or lose in life, you can just either feel generally contented or generally discontent. But either way you're gonna get a share of victories or defeats. I just mean that I know people who in the grand scheme of things would probably be reffered too as losers who are content with their lot and people who would be described as winners who are miserable bastards and emotional wrecks.

my sister loves playing games but as she's only four she has no idea how to play and so she always looses, as far as she's concerned you're meant to loose, and so in her mind she's winning.

if everyone thought i was a loser yet i was happy with my life i'd class myself as a winner, at the end of the day your perception on your life is the only one that matters.

Yes thats exactly what I was trying to say, if you're happy you won

That's the worst advice ever, being himself hasn't worked for the last 20 years, what makes you think it would suddenly start working?

I think LePetitPrince was being sarcastic. Most of us know that "being yourself" doesn't work, unless you already fit into what is regarded as the ideal lover. But I'd rather be alone than giving up who I am just so someone else can love that which is no longer "myself."

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt71801.html

I was being ...very sarcastic .

I wouldn't worry about it... I've known LPP for too long now...

Gee, lots of great and upbeat attitudes in this thread -- I wonder why no one wants to date you guys?

Honestly, it's not that hard, mating is something all animals (the ones that survive long enough to maturity) do, and believe me, there's someone for everyone, no matter what your tastes are. Foot fetish? There's a girl for you. Asian transsexuals? Tons of those as well, check Craigslist. Slightly nerdy but pretty girl who will put up with your attitude, cook for you, and love you for who you are? Check. They exist.

It's not like we're special beings or anything -- we're biological organisms destined for reproduction. Odds are that most of you have two eyes, all your limbs, and can walk on your own -- that's pretty much all you need to get a girl, and there are a lot of people who don't even have that who get one as well. Boy meets girl, they like each other, they reproduce. You just have to actually meet the girl, and get out, and find someone compatible. AS people aren't aliens, we just have some issues, some more than others. It's not an excuse to be a jerk or to be terminally depressed.

But it seems like most of you are in the depths of depression, and might just be masochists. You enjoy being unhappy, you feed off of it. It's actually pretty cowardly -- you'd rather b***h and moan than actually take steps to get what you want.

i'd like to take the steps i need to to get to where i want to be in life but life isn't that simple, i know what i need to do to get a girl interested and i know what's expected of guys these days. i can walk up to a girl and make her laugh, ask her for her number, and get laid if i want to but there's one problem... how the hell can i do any of those things if there aren't any available women?

i admit i have social problems and don't understand everything about society but still, not everything's the fault of the person involved. i also find it offensive how you think you must be a masochist to be depressed, i hate how i feel most days and i'm pretty sure the majority of depressed people in the world do to.

LOL, who says I'm not upbeat? I find the whole thing very amusing, actually.

Anyway, it has never been proven that there's "someone for everyone"... there is far more evidence to the contrary. Honestly, I don't know where people get that idea. And human beings are much more complex than other animals, so it's not "that simple." You can argue about it all you want... doesn't change the fact that you're sitting in front of a complex piece of equipment that no other animal could create in a billion years.

a love story with a happy ending is possible for those with AS:

love and aspergers

just thought i'd brighten the mood a bit

Familiar_stranger, I'm not worried about you at all, because you seem to have the right attitude, and you're a young man yet, with plenty of time ahead of him. So rest assured my comments above were not aimed at you, because you seem to be seeking out the solution.

I highly recommend that you read my long post in the Nice Guys Finish Last forum HERE on this page

I address this in the thread above, but ages 15-22 is about the worst years for guys in terms of dating, because most women, who mature earlier and happen to have most of the decision power at that point, and most are taken. You have to realize that this isn't permanent, and that most women move from BF to BF serially at that point, with almost no "singlehood" period in between. The strategy is to remain friends with a number of them so that you can be at the top of their list when their current relationship ends. It's a long-term strategy, and requires maintaining relationships.

Now, the whole balance of power shifts after about age 25, when women start looking for different qualities in guys -- fidelity/trustworthiness/loyalty, success/assets, and a willingness to get married. The closer they get to 30 or beyond, the more desperate they will get to marry some decent guy and crank out kids before their biological clock fizzles. What's great is that this isn't the case for guys -- the older they get, the more assets and experience they have, and a 30 or 40-something year old guy has literally the entire spectrum of women, 18 and up, to date.

So be patient, you're only just beginning, and it's only going to get better from here, especially as you mature and get experience. And be sure to read my whole long spiel on that link above.

i followed the link and have to say i agree with women preffering the alpha male and later on in life preffering someone who's kind/sweet, a simpler way of putting it is young women want sex and fun, older women want love and a family. even though everyonje here on this thread may have someone in ten, twenty or fifty years time it still doesn't help with the here and now, as it is i don't have a single friend simply because i can't get out and meet people, chances are nothing will allow me to change this.

Do you have any hobbies, and are you in school right now? There are things like student government and other school clubs that will force you to be social and to meet people. Hobbies can also get you out and about, and build your network. I had Boy Scouts when I was younger, but I didn't really have a good social group until I got into guns lately, and now I go out almost every other weekend. Maybe not the best place for girls, but I'm already married.

If that's your real pic, you're a good-looking dude, and I'm sure a lot of girls would like you. It's just a matter of finding a way of getting out into the public that works for you. 18 is too young to write your life off. Also, try to live around other people your age, if you can, like living at the dorms at school. It really does force you to be social, and those were some of the best times of my life.

Welcome to the land of the vicious cycle...


Mating is something that all animals want to do... not all therein succeed... Case in point: me...


Says a guy who already has someone... is there no better definition of "patronizing"?


Woman that wants a compulsive overeating fatass that spends most of his free time in a church? That said, any "slightly nerdy but pretty girl, etc. etc." will already be taken, so there's no point in expending energy pursuing that path...


See the above comment about patronization...


Not in my experience... a man also needs insane amounts of cash, the ability to bench 300 pounds, or some claim to national fame...


If only it were that simple...


And where would you suggest I start? I go to a college with a 4:1 male to female ratio (and on top of that I commute so I don't even really know anyone there), and most of my free time is spent at a church where I am pretty much the sole representative of the 18-25 crowd, and one of about 4 people in 18-30... Between college and all the stuff I do at the church, that's almost all of my time gone right there...


I wasn't aware I was being either... it's not like I'm going to end my life just because I'm destined to die alone... I'll at the very least get a career, make some money, and hopefully if I can work my way up into a 6-figure job, I can then indefinitely support a woman that is enough of a gold digger that she would be willing to ignore my undesirable traits...

What makes you think I enjoy this? All I want is to not be alone anymore, but given that all girls my age go places that would send me into emotional overload (like most clubs), there's nobody left behind for me to get with...