Do Aspies have a chance at a meaningful relationship?

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I'm Aspie, and my husband is NT. We have been together 10 years and it seems to get better as time goes by -- and it started out great!

Indeed. I was married twice before my current husband, the first time to an NT and the second time to an AS (though I'd never heard of AS at the time, and I doubt he ever has). Both those relationships were disasters, for very different reasons. The "click" between two individual people is more important than labels of NT or AS or anything else.


I agree. My husband is very patient and accepting. (Although he doesn't like labelling people, so he's had trouble accepting my need for him to accept the AS label for me.) I know he feels a sort of instinctive desire to protect me in social situations. And he thinks some of the perplexing, odd things I do are adorable. When I don't get a joke, for example, he thinks it's sweet -- he never thinks I'm stupid. And when intelligent, technically-inclined me doesn't get some very basic thing about my PC, he thinks that's funny in a very charming sort of way. Not that he understands how I can be so clueless and so well-informed on the same topic at the same time .

There are other things about me that he doesn't find adorable, and we've had to work on those, though I think knowing about AS has helped him realize I don't do these things "on purpose": get freaked out by noise, for example, or not have dinner ready when he gets home because I lost track of time and kept on with an obsession. Not that either of us thinks AS is an excuse for me not to have to get dinner ready--that's one of our agreements; he works so we can live and eat, and I have the freedom to stay at home, so I manage that domain mostly. It's just that he understands better now that I'm not being lazy or purposefully selfish when I don't get things done.


I feel the same way about my husband. He is absolutely wonderful. I cannot say enough good things about him.

If you're an Aspie female, maybe.
If you're an Aspie male, never.

I think this sums it up nicely.

I was going to reverse that statement... It would be interesting to take a poll on how many AS men are in LT relationships, compared to AS Women

I don't know, I'm 19 and the one relationship I've had she had to ask me. All of the other girls I've ever been attracted to I was too afraid to ask. So I think a lot of it is general social anxiety similar to why I find it hard to make friends.

How depressing!

What about Eharmony.com?

For $250 (by far the most expensive dating service) they HAVE to yield SOMETHING for God's sake!

Nooooooo way. Admitedly, my partner had to make the first move (ironically, she did this because of my AS - i always isolated myself at college, and she wanted to find out more about me), but we couldn't be much happier together. Hell, at times she's the only thing that keeps me sane - and nobody understands me better than her. First thing she did after I told her about my aspergers was read into it for hours, so she could understand me more. And she's about the only person who can calm me down when my temper flares.

You could just say I got lucky, but personally I think there's hope for us all. It's just a case of meeting someone who wants to reach out. (I recommend psychology students, for the aspergic students amongst you )

Me, personally, I've declared WAR on Asperger's Syndrome, as evidenced here:

Maybe it's just the fact that 1: I never completed high school or went to college because I suck at math and I can't concentrate, 2: Hate all other people sincerely and people scare me so I stay away from them, 3: I'm only attracted to women over 30, 4: I'm permanently stuck in a small town where there are no single women over 19, 5: People see me as a ret*d village moron. 6: I only want to have sex one single time in my life. 7: Women hate desperate morons.
I suspect that the majority of Aspie men are in my situation.
Social skills, how to make friends and dating are a natural ability for nt's. If you don't have social skills, stay alone and accept it. I have finally done it.

And what objective references do you have to back this claim up? Because this claim is complete nonsense and reeks of low self-esteem.

Please don't tell me that you actually think that there are a lot of Aspie men who actually work or are in relationships!

Yes, I do, because diversity exists in a relationship: you see deaf couples or one deaf and one non-hearing impaired person, people dating from different nationalities and ethnicities, people with other various disabilities inlcuding autistics in the criteria.

And just because you're NT or whatever doesn't mean to say that they are the only ones to be in relationships -- it's crap. I've seen many non-autistics not in relationships because a) they haven't found the right person and b) they're not interested.

So, in conslusion, I have an equal probability to have p**** just as any autistic female has dick.

Now there's some serious gender confusion...

In Norway, most Aspie kids have what is called "Individual Education Plans", this is a system wich ensures that they will graduate from junior high and be either just kept in three years of totally useless high school or start working in such jobs as sorting trash, because they can't do the pretty pathetic math needed to graduate high school here.
Basically no students with learning disorders here have any chance of getting a "normal" job because they are treated as if they are "ret*d" equally if they have ADHD or Downs syndrome. They are encouraged to get unskilled jobs because it's easier for them. Also, like probably most small towns, most girls there move away for good at 19 to go to college or work. Only the weirdos of both sexes remain.
I have to confess that all I'm after is to sleep with an obese woman that doesn't have an iq under 70, wich is the only kind of woman I can get.

I am simply highlighting that we just as have an equal chance of getting a shag and settling down just as anybody else.

But you males continue to dwell on the so-called ineptitudes you have so given yourself and no-one else.

As for social skills, well, that can easily be remedied by my technique in bed and being a considerate lover. :p

If that worked I wouldn't be single. Believe me you can't get much more considerate than I am. Just ask my ex-gf.