would you like to have amazing success with women?

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I almost agree, but not quite. Women DO know the difference between actually *liking* someone and just wanting to shag them.
I once had a girl make out with me in a nightclub and even let me fondle her only to get a PHONEY PHONE # from her when the bar closed .Women can sense when a man is just after sex or wants to poke them and they have said to me over and over again that is is VERY offputting. Ive certainly made the mistake of being too forward and "too aggressive" on the first date but then again it all depends of her and what she's up for. The whole "sex before love" method is a BAD Idea unless you are extremely suave and charming which requires good social skills and the ability to read nonveral cues.

Dont forget that SHE has to be Attracted to you too and not just you to her cos if she's not, getting physical will piss her off and get you branded as a "creepy pervert". If you do that kind of thing in clubs you're on the fast track to being 86d if she decides to inform the bouncer.



Yes, it is Very True that romantic relationships seldom start off as platonic; especially when you're not a teen anymore.
Usually if someone is attracted to you and/or the attraction is mutual it becomes pretty clear right away. But I want to point out that the first gf I had, I didnt intially seek out a gf I sought out a friend and the ensuing romance was actually a bit of a surprise.
You just have to test the waters when it comes to determing how someone really feels about you. With my first gf, I made a pass at her and she accepted and thats how I knew.

Im SO sick and tired of these "guides to picking up chicks" which make it sound so formulaic because its NOT.
Different women react differently and have different standards and they expect Us men to read them before we approach.

This was the elephant in the room for me and may be enough to explain most of the discrepancy.

That's always been my observation too, going back to college days. Which is why I believe the stats may be true. I don't know if there are any national variations. I vaguely recall hearing that the balance is actually worse in some asian countries.



If only!! ! I always though it sensible to cut off at around 7 - 8 years younger than me. Maybe I need to rethink that It's worth considering just to imagine my ex-wifes face as I introduced her to a gorgeous 25 year old!



Yes, I've noticed that too. I've even been that 'fan guy' who got picked eventually. Given the shortage of single females, perhaps becoming the 'fan guy' is a far more sensible strategy than trying to pick up strangers in coffee shops.

Le Petit, I think a big factor was that in the bar he was at, he was taking up a table meant for 4 during a very busy period. So women came in, looked for somewhere to sit, and imposed. Then, after they got bored talking to eachother, this guy doing something other than reading or working on a laptop (he was writing musical notes or doing puzzles) becomes interesting, and they try to kill time. Then, after a while, when other guys aren't approaching, this guy gets more interesting, especially after they see and meet him multiple times.

The other thing is that he's the only one not drooling over them. He's safe, and then, at some point, they think "hey, he's not gay, so what's the deal? Am I not good enough?" And then it becomes more of an ego thing and a challenge.

Haliphron is correct with this

some of you guys want a formula because you are aspies and 'systemizers' but relationships are not like that, that is why aspies suck at them, its about intuition not rules, so forget the 'love guides'.

every woman is so different, you are best off being yourself and finding someone who likes that than 'playing games' which for many people are a turn off.

if you 'play games' or put on 'acts' or 'formulas', you imediately loose your honor and integrity, and that is very un-sexy.

"
And I would like to add that what those love gurus forget that every guy is so different either , so what works for the guru might not work for the next guy. Yet, as an evolutionist I believe that people of the same gender share very common instincts.

Nevertheless, "being yourself" is an unrealistic idealist and useless approach for people who were already facing troubles in dating because of being themselves.

its better to be yourself and on your own than have to act 24/7 in a relationship.

The facade cracks and then your dumped.

If someone does not like you as you are, they will dump you when they find out more about you. They will not fall in love with you and want to stay- they will think that who they fell in love with is not you and still dump you.

people have all different preferences so I think there is every chance that any of us could find a partner or a least get laid.

if there are people out there who fancy goats, I dont see why there are not people out there who would fancy me or you.

I was not suggesting faking, but staying yourself with no improvement won't lead to anything.

And fancying goats usually happen in sexually-suppressed communities.

i did this depressive breakdown for orbyss some time ago:
"theres 6 billion people on earth right?"

k, 3 bill are of the opposite sex.

2,5 billion live in poor slums, im not going there.

of the 500 million left, i'd say 75 million are within my age, give or take.

of these 25 fit my visual preferences, 20 of these are intelligent, 15 have a good sense of humor

of these, 10 million are taken, im left w 5 million possible women.
of these only 50 000 wants a hopeless aspie even for fun.
less than 5000 are willing to trade a normal NT relationship w one w an aspie.

less than 1000 of these find me attractive.
Since we've stayed within the less-poor parts of the world, say europe and north america, i cant imagine any more than 10 of these residing in norway.
that leaves about... 1 or two chicks in this city, that would EVER consider being with me.

and theyre probably being taken
as we speak :]

I once knew a guy who asked 50+ girls in his course out, and got turned down every single time. And he wasn't that bad-looking either, he just asked them out and got rejected. He was about sixteen, so the girls he was asking were mostly single as well. Which tells me that there is some kind of methodology involved, you can't just go in and ask random girls out.

Besides just relying on chance, what I understand by a "good intuition" is a feeling one has from being well-rehearsed enough with the rules that they become blindingly obvious. To people lacking a good intuition, the rules have to be spelled out.

But YOU are an aspie too!

Im thoroughly convince that women, even aspie women, almost NEVER use the systematic, formulaic approach when it comes to people and relationships. The intuit social situations and what I mean by that is they use subconscious pattern recognition. Picking up women is an art, Not a science! There is no formula for how to do it right but there are plenty of ways to do it badly. Unless someone displays tell-tale signs that they are actually interested in you and/or are clearly open to being approached. There actually HAVE been a few rare situations where I approached someone without overanalyzing what I was going to say, its just sort of *happened*. But I would strongly advise against aspie guys trying to be pick-up artists in bars, clubs, and other public places unless they're comfortable with constant rejection. Lastly, the woman you approach may or may NOT be single. Just because she's by herself doesnt mean that she is single Or that she necessarily wants to be aprroached!

This is where I think you may be selling yourself short. Most of the guys on WP get into long-term relationships, and many don't have much trouble finding girlfriends. It's just on this forum things are different, because those who are worried tend to come here. If the figure was really 0.1% for all single women your age, regardless of how they otherwise felt, the proportion of frustrated men here would be almost everyone rather than a minority.

yes I am an aspie too!

I would not use a formula from a book, what works for me is to tell the object of my affection what I think about them and they either like me back, or dont.

its really not complicated.

oh bad move....apparently, girls don't like it when they know that a guy has laready asked someone else out, and now she's his SECOND OR THIRD (or 50th) CHOICE, they not gonna go for that.

and no, unless you are incredibly physically attractive and have f***** sparkly beams coming from your eyes, you can't just shoot in there and ask a girl out, they'll think you're a rapist or something...there's an incredibly baffling subtle art to finding a mate, one that i've probably only about 10% figured out, and that's after many years of research, lol x

lotusblossom's "method" seems the way to go..
just curious how do you Really know when you like someone? yes you should "feel" it etc but what if you feel this way often about a lot of people?

Kind of funny that Alex mentioned the night club thing, because I am considering going to one that offers fully nude lap dances. The only thing that might stop me though is the fact that it is over 50 miles away and I might not want to drive that far just for a lap dance. But on the other hand, it will be the first time I've ever seen a naked female in person and the experience might be just what I need.