I don't like to party/dance/drink. Where do I find women?

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LOL He doesn't have to go to a club! I really mean that. Most of the guys I end up going out with I've met in the park, at a concert, through some friends, at the mall, etc... You just be friendly, crack a joke, and women will respond.

"Good (morning, afternoon, evening). I have to say, that you are the most ravishing woman I have seen yet in all my days of coming to this (insert place). I would be honored if you would give me your number so that I could take you out for lunch sometime."

Any original compliment will work, just make it unique somehow.

Yeah I go shopping, but I don't exactly see the point in chatting up people you're never going to see again... it's one thing to be courteous (I always strive for that in public, since being nice means people don't hate me as much), but flirting with a random woman I don't even know has too many potential reprecussions to count...


Because I'm the sole representative of the 18-30 demographic? Most of the people in my church are either married with kids (and often grandkids), or they are kids themselves...


I'd love to be able to do that, but most women I know are the type where if you aren't interested in the first 5 minutes, you're permanently friendzoned... the rest already have loving relationships...


I doubt it... I'm going into senior year, and there's been no luck for me so far... I don't see what would be incredibly different about the environment...


Well there's the live musical theater stuff I've been doing (and, incidentally, had the closest approach to a girlfriend ever, see the "near-misses" thread for more)... but I'm aging out of the group I was with (it is, for all intents and purposes, a high school group), and I don't know of any college/young adult groups out there...

Well you get their number and you could see them again. Sometimes you have to take risks my friend, the worse thing that could happen is rejection and if that happens, there's plenty more out there.



Sorry, I can be dumb sometimes.



I can't possibly be the only woman willing to date a guy who I've been friends with for a while. I'm sorry girls are idiots, you seem like a nice, interesting guy.



Yeah, well you just need to get some courage and actually talk to a girl then.



Well keep looking for something similar and if all else fails, start your own group or club!

I think this right here highlights the problem -- you're not going to get it done by sending e-mails. It's not a question of scale (i.e. 50, 100, 1000) in this case, but approach. If you want to attract another human being, you are going to at some point have to mee them face to face and do human being things. My advice, must like the rest of the very wonderful and well-informed advice here (completely serious, great responses in this thread) is to join some club or organization with significant female membership. You can join a club with significant e-mail/IM/social networking interactions, but at some point, you are going to need to be there in the flesh, so that you can attract flesh

Btw, it's funny how much social connections play into finding someone. A lot of times, people are introduced by friends to other friends or their relatives, and a match is made.

Like it or not, sooner or later all of us have to come out of the Aspie shell, even if it's just a little ways. You don't need to try to change into some party animal, or go do things you hate, but you will have to venture a bit out of the comfort zone.

The meeting at grocery stores intrigues me. I'd like to get more information on how this could work. I do go shopping, one of the few times I leave my house other than to go to work. A few times a year, I'll see a cute female there. For some reason, most women who grocery shop in my area appear to be 40 year old-ish trailer trash type women which is surprising because there are no trailer camps anywhere in the area, but I digress.

So, I'm pushing my cart down an aisle and a woman is pushing her cart towards me from the other end if the aisle. Other than saying, "Excuse me" as you pass, what else is there?

Some people never come out of their shells.

Have you tried a Christian or Republican youth group? Where I live there are always young girls on freshers week trying to get people to their Christian meet ups.

Also do you have to tell them right away your religous/political beliefs? Unles your going to a church group I would of thought that is more for after you get to them a bit.

You have to use chat up lines in situations like these. Pretty much get your personality across, make her laugh!

"Have we met before? Thats right in my dreams"

Lame but there you go.

LOL! Just the thought of saying something like that makes me nearly hurl

Lol well there are thousands of chat up lines on the net. It not really about the lines more so the delivery. You have to appear in a way that a girl would want to get to know you, which means confident, funny, charming, buoyant, charismatic etc.

Hard for an aspie i know, but if you want a girlfriend...

I wouldn't personally recommend chat up lines. They pretty much never work, and the woman gets creeped out by them.

What you do is strike up a friendly conversation. Like, for example if you're waiting in the queue to pay for your groceries, say "wow the line's long today, isn't it?" or something alone those lines, and let the conversation flow naturally between you. Try to seem friendly and casual, and not too intense or anything like that. Maybe try to be a bit humorous, or use your wit. After the first comments back and forth, introduce yourself; "I'm *insert name here* by the way", and she will do likewise.

Then, when the cue finishes, say "it was good talking to you, catch you next time!" or something along those lines. If you see her at the supermarket again, then pick up where you left off. After the initial conversation (when you move into the realm of a mutual acquaintance and no longer a stranger) ask her questions about herself and try to get to know her a bit better.

Once you feel you know each other a bit, and you've met more than once, suggest going for a coffee or something (keep it really casual and friendly).

And that's how you meet people in the supermarket (it works with both sexes, and to make friendships too, you know).

Yes listen to sunshower not me.

No stress, it's good you're trying to help out.

Striking up friendships with strangers does take practice, but once you know how to do it it's a skill that never leaves you; it's like riding a bike.

The trick is to start really general and casual and also friendly without any romantic undertones, then get more personal and more romantic as you go. Like this:

\ general/friendly/casual /
\run into each other again & chat more/
\ get contact details; eg facebook /
\ arrange a casual meeting /
\more personal/ask her about herself/
\you had fun, agree to meet again/
\compliment her/flirt very slightly/
\if she wants to meet again,/
\ romantic/personal /
\ ask her out /


Something like that. You start general: really casual and friendly and fairly disinterested, then work your way down to specific: intense, flirtatious, interested.

It takes a lot of practice, so the best thing to do is start by trying to strike up friendships with people you meet (male and female), once you get practiced at that, try for picking up girls - but the NUMBER ONE rule to remember is to never start out too intense, or start out with a pick-up line or by asking them on a date, or they'll think you're creepy. Got to strike up a good acquaintanceship first.

As far as the grocery store goes, I'd prett much have to get contact info the first time as the odds of seeing them again are very slim, so if you have any more suggestions, I'd be happy to have them.

Well, I think to start with just try striking up friendly conversations with other people at the store. Don't force anything, just if the situation seems appropriate. When you feel more confident with that, maybe try with women who you find attractive as well.

I must admit, I met one of my good friends because he was busking and I walked past (we were complete strangers) and I struck up a friendly conversation with him. We chatted a good long while and ended up swapping emails. Then I came by again the next week where he was, and we chatted again, then he decided to take a break and we thought we'd go for a walk down to the supermarket to pick up some lunch food.

That's sort of how it works. If you don't feel the person would ever come back, then maybe try to get into a decently long conversation with them, and if you're getting along well at the end of the conversation (just before you both depart) suggest swapping emails. As long as you keep it friendly, and casual, you won't scare the other person off and they'll generally be open to getting to know you better.

Conversation is the killer for me. In general, unless there's something relevant or interesting to discuss, I don't talk. So, as I'm pushing my cart down an aisle and a woman is pushing her cart toward me, in that short time period, I probably won't think of anything interesting to talk about. Sure, I can say something generic like, "Hi, how's it going?" and she'll reply with some generic response as she passes, but I would have no idea how to proceed.