27 May 2009, 10:10 pm
jemir1234 wrote:
solinoure wrote:
CelticGoddess wrote:
One time I said to them, "You do realize you're making it much more difficult for yourself right?" and their answer? "The only way I'll know he's right for me is if he knows what I want without me having to tell him." 
So then I responded with, "How about telling him what your needs are and seeing if he's up to meeting them?" There was silence around the table. Apparently that suggestion wasn't very popular among the masses.
So then I responded with, "How about telling him what your needs are and seeing if he's up to meeting them?" There was silence around the table. Apparently that suggestion wasn't very popular among the masses. OMG! Women (ok - not all) really do want us to be mind readers! ...or at least behave like we can read minds and are eager to comply... actually it sounds more like they want to control the minds of their men - but without having to be responsible for being in control...
Dude the hell with them, obviously they see your posts, they just dont wanna respond. f**k them
LOL Dude you are such a riot!
CelticGoddess has been very forthright (thank you CelticGoddess - BTW) sinsboldly is being a bit coy...
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
27 May 2009, 10:50 pm
solinoure wrote:
CelticGoddess has been very forthright (thank you CelticGoddess - BTW) sinsboldly is being a bit coy...
coy?
sure, coy. Why not? I was young and reckless in a time long gone, when sex was not equated with disease and death, when the world was a very different place. There was no understanding of my condition (autism) and being literal, I thought that life could be very different from what I had been led to believe. Sorry, but what I was 'looking for' was not what I found. My story is all over WP and I really didn't want to dredge it up again.
28 May 2009, 7:02 am
solinoure wrote:
If sub-urban aspirations are what it takes to be relationship material... I will never be it.
The only thing I would ever want from suburbia is to burn it - preferably with the suburbanites still on premises... But - realistically, I am quite happy just to avoid that abominable lifestyle.
Urban or Rural. Choose! NO YOU CAN"T HAVE BOTH!
/getting off soapbox before I jack my own thread. *sigh*
The only thing I would ever want from suburbia is to burn it - preferably with the suburbanites still on premises... But - realistically, I am quite happy just to avoid that abominable lifestyle.
Urban or Rural. Choose! NO YOU CAN"T HAVE BOTH!
/getting off soapbox before I jack my own thread. *sigh*
Please don't burn me!
I'm in suburbia. But only because the city is too much for me and I had to stay within a certain zone to get my son the best services in his school district. Now that I'm homeschooling, I'm going rural in about a year from now. Finally back to my farming roots and I can hardley wait. I always feel more at home in the country.
sinsboldly wrote:
After I left high school my parents had me committed to Topeka State (mental) Hospital where I was not able to make informed choices nor was I to meet "relationship material." Once I left the hospital I was traveling quite fast and found myself at the Woodstock Festival in upstate New York where, in the main, living a quiet family life in the suburbs was not the major thrust of the message. Where about 90% of those attending did settle into that bucolic existence, I was not one of them.
So... what kind of man was relationship material at this point?[/quote]
sinsboldly
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
28 May 2009, 7:55 am
CelticGoddess wrote:
solinoure wrote:
If sub-urban aspirations are what it takes to be relationship material... I will never be it.
The only thing I would ever want from suburbia is to burn it - preferably with the suburbanites still on premises... But - realistically, I am quite happy just to avoid that abominable lifestyle.
Urban or Rural. Choose! NO YOU CAN"T HAVE BOTH!
/getting off soapbox before I jack my own thread. *sigh*
The only thing I would ever want from suburbia is to burn it - preferably with the suburbanites still on premises... But - realistically, I am quite happy just to avoid that abominable lifestyle.
Urban or Rural. Choose! NO YOU CAN"T HAVE BOTH!
/getting off soapbox before I jack my own thread. *sigh*
Please don't burn me!
I'm in suburbia. But only because the city is too much for me and I had to stay within a certain zone to get my son the best services in his school district. Now that I'm homeschooling, I'm going rural in about a year from now. Finally back to my farming roots and I can hardley wait. I always feel more at home in the country.
sinsboldly wrote:
After I left high school my parents had me committed to Topeka State (mental) Hospital where I was not able to make informed choices nor was I to meet "relationship material." Once I left the hospital I was traveling quite fast and found myself at the Woodstock Festival in upstate New York where, in the main, living a quiet family life in the suburbs was not the major thrust of the message. Where about 90% of those attending did settle into that bucolic existence, I was not one of them.
So... what kind of man was relationship material at this point?
You know, I didn't even think in those terms, then. I was what they used to call an 'unwed mother' and was being hounded by these guys from "Zero Population Growth" who wasn't helping the shame of me walking around with out a wedding ring with a belly out to here. I was hitchhiking across America from New York State to San Diego California where someone I had met at Woodstock said I could come out to sleep on their couch. It was the best offer I had, so, clueless, I stuck out my thumb and a month and a half later showed up on her doorstep (much to her surprise and dismay.) I started cooking dinner for a navy guy that lived in the front apartment and he liked that so after the baby was removed from my custody at birth I went home from the hospital to his house and continued to clean and cook for him until he moved to another air station. I couch surfed in Ocean Beach for a while and got a ride to San Francisco were I cooked with the Diggers in Golden Gate Park.
no, I wasn't too focused on a 'relationship'. I was mostly focused on getting my next meal and finding somewhere out of the way so I could sleep at night. It's amazing how concentrated you can get when your whole life is centered on day to day survival. I don't think I even had a concept of having a 'relationship' with a guy.
28 May 2009, 8:05 am
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
28 May 2009, 8:15 am
CelticGoddess wrote:
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle.
oh. ~sigh~ well, it's done now.
28 May 2009, 8:23 am
28 May 2009, 8:27 am
28 May 2009, 9:16 am
28 May 2009, 2:00 pm
sinsboldly wrote:
CelticGoddess wrote:
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle.
oh. ~sigh~ well, it's done now.
OK - I am now calmed down enough to be able to write about this.
Merle, I am very upset about this. Why is it that when I - a male - asked this question I got nothing but evasion? But, when the very same question, the very one I typed, was asked by a woman, you give a direct answer.
I am calling you to the carpet for this. This is blatant sexism and you should be ashamed of yourself for behaving under such a double standard.
I tried to be sensitive and understanding of you. When others advised me to "f**k them" I disregarded that advice and used the most diplomatic words I could to accurately describe your reluctance to be candid. I respected your privacy even as I inquired into your life. I was nice.
And my reward? Sexist condescension... I'll take a tequila hazed slut over that any day of the week.
28 May 2009, 3:11 pm
28 May 2009, 3:24 pm
solinoure wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
CelticGoddess wrote:
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle.
oh. ~sigh~ well, it's done now.
OK - I am now calmed down enough to be able to write about this.
Merle, I am very upset about this. Why is it that when I - a male - asked this question I got nothing but evasion? But, when the very same question, the very one I typed, was asked by a woman, you give a direct answer.
I am calling you to the carpet for this. This is blatant sexism and you should be ashamed of yourself for behaving under such a double standard.
I tried to be sensitive and understanding of you. When others advised me to "f**k them" I disregarded that advice and used the most diplomatic words I could to accurately describe your reluctance to be candid. I respected your privacy even as I inquired into your life. I was nice.
And my reward? Sexist condescension... I'll take a tequila hazed slut over that any day of the week.
There's a possibility that she may have missed the question the first time around or didn't have time to answer it right away but answered it later. There's a lot of possibilities without jumping to claim she's being sexist. She did say earlier that her story was all over WP and didn't feel like typing it out again but maybe by it accidentally ending up in my post, she thought she was being asked yet again and felt badgered (unintentionally by me) and gave us the coles notes version. I just think your reaction was a bit on the harsh side. I know Merle can hold her own, but I was surprised by your response.
28 May 2009, 3:53 pm
28 May 2009, 3:56 pm
CelticGoddess wrote:
^ Oops. I forgot to edit out Sol's question out of my previous post. I only meant to talk about the 'burbs. Sorry about that, Merle.
LOL.
The movie's hillarious, reminds me of my neighborhood.
28 May 2009, 4:07 pm
CelticGoddess wrote:
There's a possibility that she may have missed the question the first time around or didn't have time to answer it right away but answered it later. There's a lot of possibilities without jumping to claim she's being sexist.
Yes - there are other possibilities. Maybe she missed my question...
but...
CelticGoddess wrote:
She did say earlier that her story was all over WP and didn't feel like typing it out again
Which is insulting in and of itself. I posted the thread to get people's view on what "relationship material" means. If I wanted to glean the meaning of that by reading through thousands of posts - I would have forgone starting a thread and just gone reading. I posted this thread requesting peoples points of view so that they might post thier points of view - NOT so they can tell me to go spelunking for the data.
But even that is ok. You don't wanna be candid. Fine, don't be candid. I will respect your privacy. But don't turn around and immediately spill your guts when the next person asks the same question you were just denied the answer to.
CelticGoddess wrote:
but maybe by it accidentally ending up in my post, she thought she was being asked yet again and felt badgered (unintentionally by me) and gave us the coles notes version. I just think your reaction was a bit on the harsh side. I know Merle can hold her own, but I was surprised by your response.
Yeah - right - Merle "who can hold her own" was badgered...
Yes - my reaction was on the harsh side... It was on the very nice side beforehand. And what did that get me? It got me blown off - to have my own question answered when asked by another person.
I spent a lot of time and effort to be as respectful and sensitive with her as possible - I have read some of her other posts and I know how she talks to and about men - I thought that if I was gentle I could relate to her and we could share life experience. I guess not.
28 May 2009, 4:19 pm
solinoure wrote:
Yeah - right - Merle "who can hold her own" was badgered...
I didn't mean badgered by you, I meant by me. By bringing up details of something she may have not felt like talking about.
Quote:
Yes - my reaction was on the harsh side... It was on the very nice side beforehand. And what did that get me? It got me blown off - to have my own question answered when asked by another person.
I spent a lot of time and effort to be as respectful and sensitive with her as possible - I have read some of her other posts and I know how she talks to and about men - I thought that if I was gentle I could relate to her and we could share life experience. I guess not.
I spent a lot of time and effort to be as respectful and sensitive with her as possible - I have read some of her other posts and I know how she talks to and about men - I thought that if I was gentle I could relate to her and we could share life experience. I guess not.
I get what you're saying. Sorry if I made you upset.
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