so if you didn't feel like you had to get a girl....

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Okay, stop pretending I don't understand who you're talking about. While you're at it, stop pretending your sexism means less because you're now directing it towards aspie people or those who post on an autism forum. Let's remind our readers (and you) where you agreed that I have poor impulse control and no respect for boundaries:



You can raise however big a fuss you want, or increase your font size however much you want, but I'm not going to forget that you said I have no self-control and no respect for women because of how I, and the vast majority of other men (and women), approach romance. Implying I may as well be a rapist for not always asking before going in for a kiss is so incredibly sexist. It's not less sexist because you're insisting that you're talking about men with less developed non-verbal communication skills.

Onewithstrange, please go onto something else. It just keeps these threads that are so harmful, from dying.

are you sure you understand the meaning of the word "sexism"?--because the fact that i am talking about a small minority of guys, those being some guys on the spectrum (and possibly a few not on the spectrum) who specifically have difficulty interpreting non-verbal communication, does in fact mean that i am not being sexist--if i were being sexist, i would be making sweeping negative generalisations about all or even most men. it doesn't apply when you're very specifically and explicitly speaking of a small subset of a population (which is what i am doing) and not generalising about the entire population of a gender (which is quite specifically what i'm not doing).

i see the caps didn't help much either.

Well, I've been continuing my acknowleging of men I pass by when walking experiment. And it continues to go well. People are very friendly when you interact with them. Perhaps this is how social people get all their connections.

You can try the text-to-speech technique.

You type the text and tell him to copy paste there:

http://www.naturalreaders.com/

If you were being sexist you would be exhibiting a prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender - the quantity isn't the determinant here.

Ann, you need to think this through. Say you did discover a creep, and he followed you into a quiet area - what then? And would you really be able to kick his ass?



And creeps don't appear friendly? I'm not saying it's certain you're going to meet a creep, but you don't know who any of these people are. And if you don't meet one, some guys anyway will think you're leading them on, if you end up smiling at the same ones.

Smiles and appearing friendly mean nothing. What you see on the outside doesn't reflect a person's intentions - never judge a book by its cover. And you're in a good neighbourhood - that doesn't mean you have to make yourself a target.

Oh, for the love of God. Just to defend starvingartist here, she was not talking about men with impulse control issues, she was only saying that men should ask first before trying to engage in any kind sexual activity if there is anything that's ambiguous. That's especially the case for people who have trouble reading non-verbal cues and body language. Do you honestly not understand the logic behind using verbal communication if non-verbal communication is difficult? Would you rather end up in prison for rape because you had not insured that there was consent first? Honestly, it's not just men who have difficulty with non-verbal communication who should do this but everyone should do this if the non-verbal communication is ambiguous. Even asking first about something like kissing would show them that you're respecting their boundaries. Oh, and I think that I was among the first to suggest on this forum to suggest for people who have trouble with non-verbal communication, just doing things spontaneously without asking is a bit dangerous, not starvingartist, or the other ladies. You can call me man-hating or anti-aspie for that, I'd like to point out that I'm both male and an aspie. Even if a woman doesn't say "no", that doesn't automatically mean "yes".

Which she wasn't doing.

When sexism is redefined to include a quantity, that definition is an obfuscation.
I also didn't accuse starvingartist of anything - we both used a qualifying "if".

when i spoke of poor impulse control and a lack of respect for women i was speaking of you actually, and not the men here on the spectrum who have difficulty interpreting non-verbal communication. i said those things specifically about you because of how you have reacted to women here voicing their opinions about kissing and consent between people who aren't already dating with anger, misquotations that strike me as not so unintentional, as well as wild (and completely unfounded) accusations of sexism and misogyny--that was my reason for making that observation about you. when i was speaking of the men on this forum who have trouble with non-verbal communication i said i thought promoting making a move before establishing verbal consent with a woman you're not previously romantically involved with to said minority of non-verbal-communication-challenged men is probably not a good idea, because you have to acknowledge that said population here who do struggle with non-verbal communication are going to have serious difficulty knowing what non-verbal consent looks like and this can create all kinds of problems if they are encouraged to make moves on people without taking these deficiencies in von-verbal communication interpretation into consideration.

never once did i say anything like being autistic and spontaneous necessarily means a person has poor judgment, no morality, no respect for women or people in general, and self-control issues. i did imply that a couple of those may be issues for you personally, but i did specify that to you personally, based on your behaviour here. you extrapolating that to applying to all autistic men is your own mistaken perception/interpretation of what i said. which you seem to be exceedingly good at--misinterpreting, attributing things to people they didn't actually say, and then getting quite angry about those misinterpretations and misattributions.

I don't know. It just seems friendlier than looking down or away. I suppose if someone wanted to hurt me they would, but I'm not that concerned that I'm drawing undue attention to myself. I'm not flashing these guys or anything lol

in most cases, predators tend to be more emboldened by fear, or by nastiness, than they are by a friendly smile and a 'hey,'

Hey.

you are correct--i am very tired today and didn't think that through, it's not a proper definition of sexism.

i was not being sexist by saying that i think it's a bad idea to promote kissing without verbal consent to young men on this site looking for advice about women and dating when some of them have difficulty with interpreting non-verbal communication. as jono pointed out, non-verbal communication is ambiguous to begin with because people, all kinds of people, even those who are generally good at reading body language and facial expressions and all that, can still make mistakes in interpretation sometimes. for the sake of clarity and for the sake of respecting other people and their bodily autonomy, establishing verbal consent before attempting something like kissing someone you've not kissed before just makes more sense. there is absolutely nothing sexist about that.

Ohhh, I see. That makes it OK then. Let's forget those insignificant few cases...and while we're at it, I'm sure predators aren't attracted by smiles either.