Why are women so desperate for men?

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Actually they do these days, just not at the same time. There are plenty of women who have been married more than once.

Oh joy, a blatant generalist sexist topic in a self-help forum. Like actually asking for help would actually be productive. What specific thing are we trying to help with again? Validating our rage against something. Life isn’t that complicated, people try to make their way based on whats available too them. The whole point about letting people make their own decisions is not all information is available to you.

Loke abunch of aspies are any good at knowing what another person feels.

Maybe people would actually figure something out for a change if we didn’t let something like this stay up.

I guess saying there are more men in the world is now the new excuse for getting nowhere in online dating, instead of “The problem is me”.

There is a man drought in New Zealand. There are significantly more women than men. But guys still can’t get replies on online dating sites.

There is no more chance of being born a male. None. No confirmed and proven data to back that up.

No one is saying biology is fair. Look at lions. One male mates with as many females he wants. Females and males both have their benefits and low points in all species.

But producing straw man arguments for your lack of success is ridiculous.

Same here. And having over twice your age on you I can tell it does NOT improve as you get older. Women do not have the same desire for intimacy that men do. After I got married, sex was down to like, twice a week or something. We got back from the honeymoon and it was like I ceased to exist within a week. After having my first kid, it was nonexistent for a while. I mean, naturally, of course it is. Things started to pick up after a year. Then there was that one day we ran out of condoms. Oops.

That's when things got BAD for us. No money, no jobs, no home. Another year went by with next to nothing. Things started to turn around for us and we started talking about baby #3. Nothing SERIOUS, just talking. Then the condom broke.

Yet another year goes by with little action. And another. And another when I wondered if she even noticed me at all. Things eventually did start to pick up. We worked up to about twice a month and called it good.

Now we're up to 3 or 4 times a month.

If she were telling this story, she'd tell you that between a job, 3 kids, keeping house, there was just no time for sex nor any real desire. She would say that working herself up to a climax was just more work, just something else she felt obligated to do to keep me happy--and not really worth the effort for herself. She'd be perfectly content to let me do what I needed to do and be done with it. That just left me feeling dirty, though. So whenever she gets horny, I'm ready and willing. But I have no idea when that will be.

Her perspective has since changed in that she feels she has neglected that part of our relationship. So...MAYBE once a week if the moon and planets align just right. She wants intimacy more, makes time for it, and actually seems to enjoy it.

Aaaaaaand we're thinking about baby #4.

lol

Which means I'll turn 60 (empty nest years) before I get any again! LOL

No, men and women value intimacy differently. For us, half the satisfaction is seeing a satisfied woman no matter what it takes, hence why we locker-room brag about staying power. Women just want to know they are valued and don't see what the big deal is. I told him I love him; geez you'd think that would be enough! Erm...no, it's NOT enough. Words are wind. If you really cared for me, you'd enjoy being with me--and SHOW it!

Look at it another way. We both hate washing dishes. She sees a sink full of dirty dishes and thinks, crap I've got to wash dishes AGAIN. So the first thing she does is take care of the dishes.

Me? Meh...I'll get to it when I get to it. And when I finally do it, it's like climbing Mt. Everest. You don't do it every day, but you get bragging rights just for doing it once. So washing dishes is a challenge, a conquest. Look honey, I washed dishes!! ! And she's like, so?

Which leads to the question "Does it REALLY matter?" It's easy early on to get a sense of entitlement, that this is what we're SUPPOSED to do. I'm SUPPOSED to feel good and you're SUPPOSED to like making me feel good. And when kids come sometimes it's like Al Bundy on "Married: With Children." I do think women should consider whether they are taking men for granted, ask if things are cooling off at home whether they are the ones putting distance between themselves and their husbands. With husbands, same thing. Do we expect too much? Are the things we value really that important in the long run?

Then it's a good thing that, a few years ago when I had trouble getting a date I chose self-improvement rather than excuses.

If there was a man who was unemployed, uneducated and never made any attempt to improve himself, I wouldn't blame women for not wanting to date him.

If there was a woman who made no attempt to improve herself, then I wouldn't blamemen for not wanting to date her.

I think members of both sexes have to try to become capable, responsible people before they're worthy of going on a date.

Would you hold physically disabled people to those same standards or like most people would you make exceptions for them.

Yes.

Do you think that they're unable to improve?

105:100 makes actually a lot of male excess on large scale.

For a lot of them yes. Finding work is harder for them. It’s unrealistic to expect them to improve and succeed the same as a fully able body person.
Can they, do some, yes but not most. Same with mental disorders.

I, quite Frank saddens by your change, now that you’ve got a taste of success you’ve become the people you disliked. You now look down in the rest of us just like other conservatives or republicans of the USA. Glad you were able to pull yourself up by your boot straps but doesn’t mean others can.

Why are men so desperate? I have the opposite problem. Must be an aspie thing. I can't stand my man's clingy ways, geez, he seriously would follow me in the bathroom if I didn't shut the door. Then he blames it on me saying i never connect. I should date an aspie...does that work? Or would they both drift apart too easy?

No I don't expect them to have the same capabilities as an able-bodied person. What I mean is they can improve compared to how they were before. Each year they can learn new skills and get a little bit more capable. A man in a wheelchair may never walk but what's to stop him from getting a software engineering degree? A man who is mentally disabled will never get a software engineering degree but what's to stop him from becoming more independent, at least in some small way?

The other thing is, while we all have a right to exist, none of us have a right to a girlfriend. What if a man had downs syndrome and women just aren't attracted to his condition. Does he have a right to a long term relationship?

What if this scenario were reversed. Would you date a woman with downs syndrome? We all have different capabilities but we don't all have the right to a partner. No one in the world has that right.



Yeah but at least I get to hang with the cool kids now

It could have easily been you instead of me. Imagine if our positions were reversed. Imagine if you got a high paying job instead of me. Perhaps you'd become like me, perhaps you'd be the one getting a lot of replies on dating sites. Perhaps you'd be the one taking girls out to nice restaurants. Perhaps I'd be the one complaining about how unfair it is. What would you say to me then?

Why are men so desperate? I have the opposite problem. Must be an aspie thing. I can't stand my man's clingy ways, geez, he seriously would follow me in the bathroom if I didn't shut the door. Then he blames it on me saying i never connect. I should date an aspie...does that work? Or would they both drift apart too easy?

The other thing is, while we all have a right to exist, none of us have a right to a girlfriend. What if a man had downs syndrome and women just aren't attracted to his condition. Does he have a right to a long term relationship?

What if this scenario were reversed. Would you date a woman with downs syndrome? We all have different capabilities but we don't all have the right to a partner. No one in the world has that right.

The problem is its harder to be successful today than in the past. Much harder, even for NTs.

Depression in the United States is at an all.time high and obesity too.

Humans have always been highly adaptable, but even NTs are being pushed to their psychological and physical limits.

1,000 years ago your average man was a medieval peasant who worked hard in the fields all day and came home to his wife and kids. He never made much and sometimes went without a meal.to feed his kids, there was no weekend but there was occasions festivals and holidays.