Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

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I could say the same thing about guys in general, but I’m not going to because I know that it does not reflect ALL men.

Were all of those women on the Spectrum?

That's a good point.

I would like to find women on the spectrum but I haven't been able to find many where I live. My gf is but haven't met any others, that I know for sure are on it.

There's a big difference between dating, "getting sex", and "getting attention online".

You said they joined dating sites, but got dick pics. I would say that's an indication that the men are pigs, not that your female friends were able to find dating partners.

Most girls and women get sexual overtures from men online. Most of the time it's harassment or cyberstalking, rather than men who actually give a **** about them emotionally.

Oh yes, I am not saying that the men weren't pigs, I am just saying that they could have gotten sex easily if they wanted to, where as women never send guys pictures of their naked parts, or asking them for sex in comparison, at least that that my guy friends talk about when they talk about their online dating experiences. And I never got any either from online dating experiences, so it seems that men have a harder time getting sex in comparison than women in a sense?

Seems to me it's equal, unless the women are hooking up with other women.

I edited my comment earlier to say "generally puts autistic men at a greater disadvantage", but it seems you responded before I made that alteration.

My comment before is about groups and aggregates. I'd readily acknowledge that at an individual level, an autistic woman can struggle with finding a partner just as much as or more than an autistic man. A woman in such a position deserves no less support than any man in that position.

I have a lot of experience with struggling with dating, and I can see barriers that I and other autistic men face with finding someone to date that don't seem to be as applicable for autistic women. If you or anyone else here would like to talk about personal experiences with struggling to find someone to date, and barriers that are present for you that aren't as present for men, I'd be interested to listen.

I'd also be interested if you'd care to share why you think what I said about men having to initiate courtship and the skewed online dating ratio wouldn't make it more difficult for autistic men in general to find someone to date.

You are free to vent but stop making sweeping generalizations.

Read through this thread and others in L&D and see if you can find reasons why it might be just as difficult for autistic women to find partners as it is for autistic men. Hint: there are many reasons.

It’s been talked about ad nauseam.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 10 Jul 2022, 9:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

and, add the fact that women risk pregnancy from any so-called "love and dating", internet dating, or "attention online" (ironpony's words, not TGI's).

The stakes are a lot higher for women fooling around or having hookups, than they are for men.

Yes, not all dates/hook-ups are going to be a win. Some are going to cause far more harm than anything else. That’s the reality. That was my reality.

It’s a complicated topic and there are a lot of variables involved here. It’s not helpful to approach it with a narrow lens.

There's also this concern:




I'm sure the men here are aware of it, assuming they've been reading women's posts.

Trigger warning











Date rape is a huge problem, especially for college-aged women.That’s how I lost my virginity.

Such a “date” is not a win. There are worse things than being a virgin.

The point is that even if some women are more likely to be approached for a date than men are, there are numerous potential problems.

Many on the Spectrum are painfully shy and struggle with showing interest in someone, even if that person is showing interest in them. I struggled with selective mutism, leading to some humiliating situations.

And to be fair some of the things I say I do not mean as a knock against women, if I say they have it easier when it comes to getting sex. I don't want anyone to have bad experiences and I just wanted men and women to all not be sexually lonely if they don't wish to be and trying to disect any obstacles that could help both genders get what they wish for, sexually.

Our point is that they don’t have it easier…at all.

These threads, and the sweeping generalizations therein, are not helpful.

I lost my virginity a couple of days after I got married. My husband made excuses the whole time we dated and said that he wanted to wait until marriage. I thought it was odd but I went with it, even when he wasn't in the mood on our wedding night. Then he asked me to write an essay to explain why I wanted children, before he would consent to "trying" to conceive.

We were married and he said he wanted children.

Then when I was expecting my daughter he announced he was gay and he was leaving us. He married me for my money. 25 years later he's still suing me and also suing my daughter now, for everything we have.

* Even with the best of promises, women can be deceived into pregnancy, financial abuse, and a lifetime of harassment.

This. So much this.

I'm so sorry to hear that! I just want everyone to be happy, and in the case of this thread sexually happy, and for everyone to get what they want out of life, sexually.
I'm so sorry to hear that.