Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

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RICKY5
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12 Oct 2010, 2:27 am

Nostromos wrote:

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Until you deal with your past trauma and all of the anger that's connected to it, I truly believe you will not have a healthy relationship with a woman. If you were lucky enough to meet someone willing to give you a chance, no relationship would be able to survive your anger. The first time you had a misunderstanding, or she expressed a need you didn't know how to meet, or was unhappy, or not in the mood for sex, or whatever, you'd lose your shiz and vent all of your rage at her. Or you'd take your ball and go home.

You have to realize that your anger is yours to deal with. You're the only person on this earth who can process it, and let it go. There is no woman perfect enough, or nice enough, or understanding enough, or loving enough to do that for you. It's just not possible. (Again, if loving someone were enough to cure them, there would be very few sick people on this planet.) I tell women this all the time. They lament that they're dying to help their man work through his issues because it's ruining their relationship, and he refuses to get help. And there's no solution to that problem. If he won't get help, the problems won't be addressed, and the relationship will not change. A woman facing that dilemma really has only one option: walk away. The break may be temporary or permanent, but unless and until the man accepts responsibility for resolving his issues, she can beg and cry and scream and be depressed and abused and unhappy as she wants to be - it won't make a bit of difference.

So don't be that guy. Be the guy who deals with what's screwed up his life, get your shiz together, figure out how to relate romantically to women, and start living your life. Look, if you said, "I've done everything I know how to do, and I still can't connect with a woman," - I would believe you. (I'm kind of thinking your "resume" above is another way to say just that.) That's why I think it's time to consult someone else. Or you can refuse to get help, and choose to stay bitter, isolated and angry - for the rest of your life. It's all up to you.

If I didn't start thinking thoughts like those in your last paragraph, then I wouldn't have survived the last few years. I have seen many therapists and have had some successful relationships with women. Obviously there is a lot of rage that still needs to be dealt with, and a lot of pain to unpack. Maybe there is something horrible I don't remember, because sex (with attractive women, some of it good) hasn't made me less angry.

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how fabulous of you to sacrifice your "precious standards" in order to have sex with a fat girl.

Yes, how fabulous.

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Women aren't obligated to have sex with anyone. Not getting sex is not a justification for rape or murder.

Say there was a rattlesnake that bit you five times on your face. Is this justification for killing it?

In response to the rattlesnake remark:

Come the f**k on! You are not entitled to s**t. 6 billion beings on this planet let's drop everything and work on your problem.

Sodini was a f**ktard creepjob who couldnt deal. If he wanted to bang 20 year olds so bad all hed have to do is drop a c note or two. Love is conditional and never free.

Nostromos
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12 Oct 2010, 2:54 am

Quote:

Come the f**k on! You are not entitled to sh**. 6 billion beings on this planet let's drop everything and work on your problem.

Sodini was a f**** creepjob who couldnt deal. If he wanted to bang 20 year olds so bad all hed have to do is drop a c note or two. Love is conditional and never free.

"My" problem? It's your problem, too. You found a way out with escorts, and I have great respect for you. They didn't work for me.

I think I'm saying the same thing nostromo is saying, although I'm being less mature about it: when you're convinced enough that the world is out to terrorize you, it makes sense to strike back. I don't see what's so hard about this.

BPalmer
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12 Oct 2010, 4:44 am

RICKY5 wrote:

If [George Sodini] wanted to bang 20 year olds so bad all he'd have to do is drop a c note or two.

Well, that wouldn't take care of a crucial part of it all, namely having sex with someone who was attracted to him. There is no substitute for this, and prostitution will not help in this regard.

hyperlexian
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12 Oct 2010, 5:58 pm

Nostromos wrote:

Quote:

Women aren't obligated to have sex with anyone. Not getting sex is not a justification for rape or murder.

Say there was a rattlesnake that bit you five times on your face. Is this justification for killing it?

no, sorry. that is not a fair analogy. because the snake could kill you with one bite. at worst, a heartbreak makes you sad. but we are not even talking about heartbreak, we are talking about not getting laid! that does not cause physical harm at all, ever (masturbation can take care of the worst possible problem of blue balls - not a life-threatening problem to being with, and not like a rattlesnake bite). rape and murder are actual, physical violence toward another person - not the same things by any means.

rape isn't about sex anyway, it's about power. if a person exerts that much power over another human being, that is seriously messed up. can therapy even help that? i am not so sure.

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hyperlexian
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12 Oct 2010, 6:01 pm

BPalmer wrote:

RICKY5 wrote:

If [George Sodini] wanted to bang 20 year olds so bad all he'd have to do is drop a c note or two.

Well, that wouldn't take care of a crucial part of it all, namely having sex with someone who was attracted to him. There is no substitute for this, and prostitution will not help in this regard.

why should anyone be attracted to him? they were lucky they escaped his (most likely) sociopathic embrace. thank goodness they stayed away from him, as who knows what else he was capable of? i do not believe that having a girlfriend would have solved anything at all. they stayed away from him for a reason.

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auntblabby
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12 Oct 2010, 10:23 pm

RICKY5 wrote:

Love is conditional and never free.

never? :cry:

but i'm sure it IS free for alphas. in fact, many alphas not only get it for free but even get paid for their "services." and i wouldn't have anything with strings attached, better to make do without. paraphrasing groucho marx, i wouldn't join any organization that wouldn't have my member.

Nostromos
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13 Oct 2010, 1:09 am

Quote:

no, sorry. that is not a fair analogy.

Yes it is. And you're changing the subject. Would you kill it or not?

To be fair, escorts help a lot.

BPalmer
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13 Oct 2010, 1:39 am

hyperlexian wrote:

why should anyone be attracted to him? they were lucky they escaped his (most likely) sociopathic embrace.

Oh, I wasn't saying anyone should be attracted to him, but that hiring a hooker's no substitute for having sex with someone who's attracted to you, that's all.

hyperlexian
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13 Oct 2010, 6:53 am

Nostromos wrote:

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no, sorry. that is not a fair analogy.

Yes it is. And you're changing the subject. Would you kill it or not?

i didn't chang the subject. it's a frankly preposterous analogy, because women are not snakes, they do not cause physical harm to the man they reject, and yet some men feel it is necessary to kill or hurt them a such. i you honestly see woman like that, you haven't had enough therapy yet. come up with a decent comparison, and i will answer.

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Nostromos
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13 Oct 2010, 5:49 pm

Quote:

come up with a decent comparison

I did. It would be like getting bit in the face five times by a rattlesnake, and then being asked to not kill it. Facial reconstruction surgery is extremely expensive, and society will reject you until you get it. Would you kill it or not?

I don't doubt the work you've put into getting the sex and relationships you've enjoyed. Now imagine having put in that same amount of work, and receiving very little except even more condescension, puzzlement, hostility, and rejection. Can you imagine that? Can you? Then you should be getting angry.

I still can't believe any intelligent person could be against prostitutes. Y'know, your mother has bone marrow cancer, and some nut politician whose parents were killed by gangsters smuggling opium wants to outlaw painkillers. :wink:

Look, you go back your world where sex is just another joy of life. I've explained over and over again. Read it again and try to take it seriously this time. I meant everything I wrote, inculding the "I'm-not-nuts-I'm-on-the-road-to-recovery" part.

hyperlexian
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13 Oct 2010, 7:02 pm

Nostromos wrote:

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come up with a decent comparison

nope, the analogy still doesn't wash. i've been rejected multiple times. even publicly mocked once, and had nasty rumours started about me to undermine me with gossip. seriously, i know what it feels like.

rattlesnake bites are potentially deadly. rejection is not.

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Nostromos
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14 Oct 2010, 12:53 am

Quote:

Oh, okay. Was your pain and frustration so extreme that you went insane with impotent rage? No? Then you don't understand.

Were you born into the world out of an irresponsible coupling and left with a half-baked mind and a live-wire sensitivity to rejection? Do you still have nightmares about a world that sees you as unfit to live, sometimes waking up having to sleepwalk with the memory just to function? Publicly mocked several times, physically abused and then publicly mocked several times? Realizing years later that what you thought was your best relationship was mostly a convenient way for someone to dump their poison on you, and give the sex you so desperately needed to someone else? Always rejected, unless you don't find the person attractive? Do you know what it's like to be starving, to always have been starving, and have the world flaunt its satiation in your face every day? Jesus! Are you even listening to me?

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rattlesnake bites are potentially deadly. rejection is not.

The vast majority of serial killings and mass murder in the twentieth century were the result of an unmet psychosexual urge.

Forget about whether you think it's a fair analogy. Would you kill the snake or not?

Last edited by Nostromos on 14 Oct 2010, 2:09 am, edited 2 times in total.

Sallamandrina
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14 Oct 2010, 1:21 am

Nostromos - I won't comment on your situation per se, as I'm afraid I can't offer any helpful suggestions. But you're obviously confused about something - you cannot force of bully Hyperlexian or anybody else into understanding you. Any violent action will only make people understand less and condemn you more.

I hope you'll find the peace and acceptance you need, but violence will only make your problems a lot worse and bring more suffering.

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hyperlexian
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14 Oct 2010, 7:11 am

psychosexual rage has nothing to do with it, according to every study i have ever seen. any reputable sources for your opinions? ... i am not going to play your game as to who was more abused throughout life. i did descend into rage, and came back out of it. it had nothing to do with the rejecters and bullies and everything to do with ME. your analogy is still flawed. i have felt the pain of abuse and rejection, and it is nowhere near the extreme situation of death.

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mechanicalgirl39
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14 Oct 2010, 11:25 am

Celoneth wrote:

Women are PEOPLE, not REWARDS for good behaviour. You work hard, you deserve a raise at work, a medal from the mayor, a cookie, etc. you are not entitled to the affections and sexual services of another PERSON.

THANK YOU! I'm tired of hearing all this crap about how women owe men sex. I'm tired of hearing how if you buy a woman stuff and lift heavy things for her, she's now obliged to have sex with you. Even if you're stupid, or fat, or you just happen to be Aryan looking and she likes dark skinned guys. And she's a wicked, evil b***h if she doesn't give you the sex that she owes you.

For god's sake. It's not a hard concept to understand. Women are human beings. Not sexual vending machines. We don't owe men s**t.

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nostromo
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14 Oct 2010, 3:35 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:

Celoneth wrote:

Can't fault your post.

The unrequitted powerful sex drive of a male who is ill equipped to form relationships is a terrible thing though. It's like god saying I will give you a terrible thirst and no means to get water. My life experience tells me the 'drive' is quite different for women.

It's is more the males problem when you think about it.
Somewhere I saw a link to an article about low functioning autistic horny boys being given drugs to stop them being horny (and therefore a menace). It would be good if something like that was readily available for anyone to take.

Perhaps you could buy it at the supermarket and it would be called 'Sex away'. Mint flavoured or in tangy orange.

But no..theres a stigma attached to sex, it's supposed to be 'natural' and 'healthy', something we strive to achieve. And if you can't there's something wrong with you.

Bah.

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