How many of you are on OKcupid?

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Yuzu
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07 Jun 2012, 12:21 am

How long do you usually wait to send a reply to an initial message?

I messaged someone and he didn't reply for more than a day but after I put the line, "If you don't like someone very quiet, I'm not for you" in my profile, he sent me a message back. Another person (who sent me an one-sentence message, to which I replied with a two-sentence message, but had not replied for more than a day since) also sent a message back.

I'm a bit surprised about this. I thought it would turn men off. Or maybe it's just a coincidence?

rabbittss
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07 Jun 2012, 12:26 am

Knight3000 wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

Knight3000 wrote:

I am on OKCupid and have been for a while.... What burns my ass is the fact that I can have a 90+% match with a gal on there and when I take a chance and contact them I get ignored......

Basically, a lot of girls I've talked to who have accounts on the site, tend to get bombarded with TONS of messages.. most of them short and pointless and frequently lurid and sexual.. and so a lot of them just ignore EVERY message..

Well if they are going to "IGNORE" Every message.... THEY NEED TO GET THE HELL OFF OF OKC!! !! !

but.. then they can't use the TONS of messages as validation or to repair their bruised egos.

DogsWithoutHorses
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07 Jun 2012, 1:50 am

rabbittss wrote:

Knight3000 wrote:

rabbittss wrote:

Knight3000 wrote:

I am on OKCupid and have been for a while.... What burns my ass is the fact that I can have a 90+% match with a gal on there and when I take a chance and contact them I get ignored......

Well if they are going to "IGNORE" Every message.... THEY NEED TO GET THE HELL OFF OF OKC!! !! !

but.. then they can't use the TONS of messages as validation or to repair their bruised egos.

Wow, you caught us, that's exactly what we all do. Gross sexual innuendos and impersonal come-ons are super validating. It feels good to know that dudes are totally into us...as f***K objects.

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MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 6:00 am

hello there f**k object, id like you to meet my wallet

JanuaryMan
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07 Jun 2012, 6:16 am

MXH wrote:

hello there f**k object, id like you to meet my wallet

Do you accept Visa? :lol:

As far as messaging goes, I think a lot of dating rulebooks have this invisible rule of contrived time delays between receiving the message and actually responding to the message. It's the whole "playing it cool" thing kicking into gear. Never quite understood it because if you like someone and they like you surely messaging each other normally (though not to the point of suffocation!) would be ok.

MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 6:24 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

MXH wrote:

hello there f**k object, id like you to meet my wallet

Do you accept Visa? :lol:

curlyfry
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07 Jun 2012, 6:57 am

Yuzu wrote:

Taking into account their routine it might take a day. Be patient at first. I chatted with someone who only responded every two days. But it was also a sign they weren't interested romantically but happy just to chat. Plus, they were very brief with their responses. Then I had someone message me right back and we eventually moved to IM, yadda, yadda.

Xenu
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07 Jun 2012, 11:04 am

So I've been talking with the said girl I said who messaged me about about 2-3 days ago now and we've been talking since then. (I just woke up so my sense of memory is all f****d up) and so far it's been going really well and we both have a lot in common. I woke up and saw she responded to the last message I had sent last night before I went to bed and it was continuing the conversation we were having but also gave me her phone number said I should text her if I'd like to as well. What does this mean? Also I'm not quite sure if this is worth nothing since I do use them with everybody but she uses a lot of emoticons like the :3 or ^^ and such which she didn't use on her profile. Does that signal anything either? Just kind of curious as to what other people think. I still think it's a bit early to tell but I think she's really cute and really cool so I wouldn't mind seeing how things go, but I wouldn't mind just being friends either since we have such similar interests lol.

DogsWithoutHorses
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07 Jun 2012, 11:10 am

Xenu wrote:

So I've been talking with the said girl I said who messaged me about about 2-3 days ago now and we've been talking since then. (I just woke up so my sense of memory is all f**** up) and so far it's been going really well and we both have a lot in common. I woke up and saw she responded to the last message I had sent last night before I went to bed and it was continuing the conversation we were having but also gave me her phone number said I should text her if I'd like to as well. What does this mean? Also I'm not quite sure if this is worth nothing since I do use them with everybody but she uses a lot of emoticons like the :3 or ^^ and such which she didn't use on her profile. Does that signal anything either? Just kind of curious as to what other people think. I still think it's a bit early to tell but I think she's really cute and really cool so I wouldn't mind seeing how things go, but I wouldn't mind just being friends either since we have such similar interests lol.

good luck!
I think emoticons can be neutral or they can be a good sign, so that's not very helpful, but they are almost surely not a bad sign

Giving you her number is good, there is a level of trust there and a desire to talk to you more.

NicoleG
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07 Jun 2012, 11:14 am

Xenu wrote:

but also gave me her phone number said I should text her if I'd like to as well. What does this mean?

It means she likes communicating with you. Don't read much more into it than that.

Xenu wrote:

Also I'm not quite sure if this is worth nothing since I do use them with everybody but she uses a lot of emoticons like the :3 or ^^ and such which she didn't use on her profile. Does that signal anything either?

No, it doesn't signal anything other than she likes to convey her emotions through her texting. She may or may not be flirting, but simply using emoticons does not tell you that for sure one way or another.

Just keep chatting with her the way you have been. You are doing something right if she's agreed to give you her phone number for texting.

Yuzu
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07 Jun 2012, 12:20 pm

curlyfry wrote:

As for the first guy, I saw him online a lot that day so it wasn't like he was busy IRL. I think if they don't respond within a day, they are not interested. Thats how i am at least. so I thought it was interesting that he responded after I put "I'm very quiet". I'm not really interested in him romantically but he seems like an interesting person to have conversation with, so I'd be happy if we could be just friends.

NicoleG
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07 Jun 2012, 12:55 pm

Yuzu wrote:

I saw him online a lot that day so it wasn't like he was busy IRL.

One does not always equal the other.

Candles15
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07 Jun 2012, 3:50 pm

Xenu wrote:

She giving you her number is definitely a good sign and as for the emoticons, It's kinda hard to tell because some people use emoticons in everything they type (me). Don't chase her but don't play hard to get either. Just act neutral, I guess and good luck!

ShamelessGit
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07 Jun 2012, 3:55 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

I was on it for a while with not much success.
It's turning into PoF:
where men wearing shirts in their pictures are almost as rare as apostrophes and people who don't use "LOL" as punctuation.

Hi Valentine I think we talked just a little bit a long time ago.

To be honest I wouldn't expect anything serious from OKCupid, especially if you're asexual. I got the impression that the site was more for organizing one night stands than for finding compatible partners for relationships.

I looked at OKCupid once, saw all the naked pictures, and decided to treat the whole thing as a joke after that. My name was "RobotSpammer," my profile picture was a toy robot, and I put a lot of weird and somewhat creepy details on my profile. I thought it was funny.

AspieRogue

07 Jun 2012, 4:37 pm

*raises hand ecstatically*

I'm on OKCupid, and have been on there since october '05. It actually HAS worked for me as I've met plenty of people there and gotten quite a few dates(haven't met Mizz Right yet, but give it time :wink: ).

BTW: Am I the only one here who posts regularly to the Okcupid forums??? Part of what makes OKC so much fun is that it combines online dating with social networking. In fact, I'm a notorious forum troll on that site and have gotten my profile deleted for it some 13 times! By now they realize that I'm there and there to stay so they gave up. :lol:

yellowtamarin
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07 Jun 2012, 9:19 pm

Yuzu wrote:

I think if they don't respond within a day, they are not interested.

I dunno. I get an email when someone has sent me a message, so I will often click on the link straight away to read it, but I might not be in the mood to reply. I might be on my phone rather than on the computer, or I just might not be in writing mode. It will still come up on my profile that I was online that day though, because I would have logged in briefly.

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