so if you didn't feel like you had to get a girl....

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tell that to the guy who followed me home from the grocery store one night who didn't back off until i confronted him in the parking lot in front of my building and told him in a nice loud booming voice (i can achieve surprising depth of pitch and increased volume when i want to, i have powerful lungs on me) what i would do to him if he didn't help himself to some f**k off in a big hurry. what you're saying is completely unfounded and unsupported by all the information i have ever encountered about sexual predators. smiling at them is not a bloody deterrent, ffs.

I was a teen growing up in St. Catharines, Ontario during the time of the crimes of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. Those girls did nothing wrong and their trust was taken advantage of. It could have easily been me, I was the right age. Predetors/monsters are mixed in among us and often the most dangerous are the hardest to spot. I won't let their existence control how I live my life, though. Fate decides anyway.

No problem, and I didn't intend to imply anything about what you'd posted previously.
It's just that it was rather too broad a redefinition than I could accept without comment.

^^^^This.

Unfortunately, men who think otherwise seem to be addicted to percieved Martyrdom. I remember making the same argument in another thread (pretty sure it was the one that inspired this discussion) only to have the "anti-consent" guy claim it was bulling of all autistic men to dare suggest he ask first.

Why does this have to get all mean and snarky? Let's be nice and accepting of each other. And, btw, where I live and spend time, it is considered rude not to smile and acknowledge other people. I do not live in Boulder {I would need at LEAST 6 more zeros in my bank account] but I spend some time there. There are many reasons that Boulder is constantly at the top of any "best place to live" list, but I believe friendliness is definitely one major component.

I disappear from the internet for a while and I am kinda shocked that people are still talking about that kiss thread. I thought we were done with that in this sexism thread a few weeks ago

Last edited by aspiemike on 16 Jul 2014, 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is rich. You accuse me of not knowing the definition of sexism, yet you don't even seem to have a good grapple of it yourself, let alone how it's applying to you in this thread. Here's a reminder (albeit the Merriam-Webster definition is ironically also sexist):



You made an assumption about me, as a man, that I have no respect for women and no self-control. You're trying to say, "But wait, my assumption was okay because I thought you were aspie and had problems with non-verbal cues," but that's still not okay because you're still not giving the benefit of the doubt to me, as a man, that I actually do care about women and their level of comfort. It simply doesn't matter whether the man you're talking about comes from one subgroup of the male gender or another: you can't assume that because a man prefers spontaneity, he has no respect for women. By assuming that, you're making no distinction between a man who could be a rapist and a man who simply prefers spontaneity, which is where your prejudice is showing. You've acknowledged that there are men who do not have problems with non-verbal communication. That's good, but can you go a step further and say that some of those same men actually do respect women and do have adequate self-control? That's what this argument is about.

But by all means, keep ignoring what I'm saying. Prior experience talking to you says you're going to, anyway.



For God's sake, man, don't encourage her.



Actually, yes she was. She's implying I have impulse control issues because of my preference for spontaneity.



Actually, she's saying it's always best to ask, regardless how ambiguous or unambiguous it is, and if you don't, well, that can't mean anything else besides you have no respect for women.



I do understand that logic, so thanks for that. I've said many times before that people should do what works for them while I continue to do what works for me.



There is no guarantee either way, Jono. There are women who have made false rape claims in the past and continue to do so now. All it comes down to is risk management, not risk elimination. I am comfortable enough with what I call my threshold for certainty. If it's not met, I don't act. It's that simple. If you're not confident about it, then don't do what I do.



My point is that there are ways to respect their boundaries without having to be explicit about it and ruin the mood, both for them and for me.



Why would I? I'm sure lots of people on here would be well cautioned to follow that advice, but I don't have that trouble, and not having that trouble doesn't mean I have no respect for women.



In my opinion, body language is a better indicator of a person's mood because it's unconscious (unless someone's deliberately screwing with you, in which case asking them wouldn't help either). I never make a move if their body language is saying "no", and it's unnatural for body language to be inconsistent with what they're verbally telling you. This has been my experience and I'm not recommending it to anyone else. Go out and make your own experience.



Read my post above.

Last edited by onewithstrange on 16 Jul 2014, 5:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.

since you're so into arguing with this straw feminist in your head who said all kinds of things i didn't say, i'm just going to let you do that and not respond to you anymore as i have stated as many ways as i am capable what my point was and who i was talking about and why, and you obviously still don't understand or just don't want to understand (i believe it's the latter). bon chance!

My gawd, cube-guy, when you say that you act spontaneity upon reading her body language, do you mean within an already initiated making out/sex session or spontaneity in deciding to do it with her? There's a huge difference in that.

What exactly do you mean by spontaneity? Give us a concrete example. Do you mean leaning toward each other, kissing, kissing more, then ending up having sex, all silently like in the movies?

I am kinda shocked that you are shocked for that.

I'm sorry Vicky. I'm just trying to get it into you and Ann that the things you're both coming out with are very naive.

You have to be careful. Especially as aspies can make such darn easy targets and don't always pick up on ill intention. You don't want any of those strangers getting the wrong idea, and men often misread friendliness as flirting. And what if they happen to be the wrong sort of person? See what I mean? Smiling at lots of men like that is making yourself a target.

Plus what I said in the last two posts.

A picture is worth a thousand words. I FINALLY understand why some women would like the gentleman to request permission before attempting to give a kiss. [ his breath probably isn't so great either]

Anyone who is interested... Paul Bernardo is still in prison and will never get out (labelled a dangerous offender). Karla Homolka was let out in 2005 I think because she cut a plea bargain and had her trial before Bernardo. It was then revealed during the Bernardo trial that she was equally as guilty and even enabled his behaviour. Details I have heard from those cases (I have studied law courses in College) are absolutely horrifying, degrading and absolutely sickening.

I am kinda shocked that you are shocked that I am shocked at that. Ain't that a shocker?

Anything can make you a target. You never know what is going on in someone's mind.




Very disturbing. Monsters with angels' smiles.

It's certainly a f***ingly shocking situation here.