Online dating is pointless as a guy

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kraftiekortie
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06 Nov 2017, 8:10 pm

^^^ Would you date me, despite the fact that I'm a football fan? LOL

No, I'm not one of those "soccer hooligans." But I grew up liking American football, and all sports, really.

Later on, as an adult, I adopted more "aesthetic" interests in addition to my sports interests.



Temeraire
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07 Nov 2017, 7:24 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
^^^ Would you date me, despite the fact that I'm a football fan? LOL

No, I'm not one of those "soccer hooligans." But I grew up liking American football, and all sports, really.

Later on, as an adult, I adopted more "aesthetic" interests in addition to my sports interests.


Yes, I probably would have if you had got to me before my last boyfriend !

I believe in giving people a chance but my last experience was a disaster as I explained on another thread.

I keep well away from these things now. I am also having a romance break.

Next year will be my year for finding someone special. (when I am much further away from the thoughts of the last one)



GiantHockeyFan
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07 Nov 2017, 10:14 am

sly279 wrote:
They don’t have to be single, there’s a surpluse of guys in my area, not a single woman here is has to be single if she doesn’t want to. They lie there is no shortage of men here.

I always shook my head whenever I would read a woman's profile whining about how all men are jerks, why are there no decent men on these sites, blah blah blah. I would usually (foolishly) write them a quick, friendly hello and without fail, would not only get ignored but would also see them update their profiles indicating that not one decent man had contacted them. I was stupid enough to date one of these types of women who at 22 had more ex's than a tic tac toe tournament. If I had my time back, I should have trolled them and said "did you ever think for a second that maybe, just maybe the problem is you and your unrealistic expectations?"

I couldn't stop laughing when my ex randomly texted me about how she was too good for someone like me. She was overweight (and gained a ton of weight after I left her), had no job, no license, was not in school, had no ambition and was supported by a trust fund. Only someone who used an online dating site could say such a delusional thing.



RetroGamer87
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07 Nov 2017, 3:30 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
sly279 wrote:
They don’t have to be single, there’s a surpluse of guys in my area, not a single woman here is has to be single if she doesn’t want to. They lie there is no shortage of men here.

I always shook my head whenever I would read a woman's profile whining about how all men are jerks, why are there no decent men on these sites, blah blah blah. I would usually (foolishly) write them a quick, friendly hello and without fail, would not only get ignored but would also see them update their profiles indicating that not one decent man had contacted them. I was stupid enough to date one of these types of women who at 22 had more ex's than a tic tac toe tournament. If I had my time back, I should have trolled them and said "did you ever think for a second that maybe, just maybe the problem is you and your unrealistic expectations?"

I couldn't stop laughing when my ex randomly texted me about how she was too good for someone like me. She was overweight (and gained a ton of weight after I left her), had no job, no license, was not in school, had no ambition and was supported by a trust fund. Only someone who used an online dating site could say such a delusional thing.

Yet somewhere out there there's probably some delusional person who would condemn you and defend her.


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314pe
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08 Nov 2017, 3:05 am

For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Nov 2017, 3:27 am

314pe wrote:
For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.


In my opinion, the people who think like that are arrogant, childish - and illogical.



hale_bopp
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08 Nov 2017, 4:11 am

314pe wrote:
For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.


Have you thought that some people actually want to stay single because they’re happy?



314pe
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08 Nov 2017, 4:24 am

hale_bopp wrote:
314pe wrote:
For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.

Have you thought that some people actually want to stay single because they’re happy?

Why would they join online dating sites or write in "love and dating" subforum?



RetroGamer87
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08 Nov 2017, 5:14 am

314pe wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
314pe wrote:
For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.

Have you thought that some people actually want to stay single because they’re happy?

Why would they join online dating sites or write in "love and dating" subforum?

Because the grass is always greener on the other side.


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Sabreclaw
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08 Nov 2017, 6:02 am

hale_bopp wrote:
314pe wrote:
For some people, the idea of perfect love is better than imperfect real love. Even on WP, some say that they would rather stay single than make compromises.


Have you thought that some people actually want to stay single because they’re happy?


And are you happy? You sure do take a lot of interest in this subject. If you don't have a partner and you're not looking for one, what draws you to these threads?



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08 Nov 2017, 6:24 am

She isnt the only one.

There are plenty of women who come here who are completely content being single and seem absolutely baffled that there are so many single lonely men (and some lonely women) here who hate their situation.

They don't understand and never will.



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08 Nov 2017, 6:34 am

I am here to try to understand and maybe even give some help if I can.
I am a lifelong learner so these things interest me.
Relationships is something I am particularly interested in because it is also my job.
So this is my reason and I cannot speak for other women.

Other people on here with other perspectives can be helpful because it is worth pondering other ways of looking at a situation with fresh eyes. I think this site is very therapeutic for some people while other just want to be heard and nothing else.



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08 Nov 2017, 6:42 am

Its just been my experiences their most common advice is "learn to be happy being on your own" when they rarely had to try, they were just naturally the type of person who is content being alone. Some arent so lucky.

They assume its as easy for others as it is for them.

Its not bad advice but its also not applicable to everyones life.



RetroGamer87
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08 Nov 2017, 6:51 am

Some of the time I enjoy being single. Some of the time. It gives me a lot of time to spend by myself and I like being by myself. I find it very relaxing.

Then again sometimes I want a partner. Even though having a girlfriend can be very stressful at times, it can be fun as well.


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314pe
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08 Nov 2017, 7:16 am

Outrider wrote:
There are plenty of women who come here who are completely content being single and seem absolutely baffled that there are so many single lonely men (and some lonely women) here who hate their situation.

I think the fact that they are here (either in this subforum or on dating sites) is a clue that they are not truly happy.



GiantHockeyFan
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08 Nov 2017, 7:37 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Yet somewhere out there there's probably some delusional person who would condemn you and defend her.

HAHA I actually cut this line from my original message. I have no doubt she tells everyone how horrible I am for:

Breaking up via text/email (after she threw a violent temper the first two times I tried to do it privately and never apologized: I once actually debated slipping a gas station clerk a note to call 911 and stop my car)
Dumping her stuff in her parent's driveway (after she refused to take it back or arrange to have it picked up),
Throwing her out of my apartment (after she nearly got me evicted)
Yelling at her repeatedly and even threatening her (guilty, but nearly every sane person would have eventually done the same. Never mind how she used to throw stuff all the time.)
How 'greedy' I was for demanding monetary compensation after a few months (never mind she lived 40+km away)
Other adult stuff (where she was the 'aggressor', not me.)

I saw her brother and father at a hockey game last year (I swear I really do other activities!!) and made sure not to be anywhere alone around them as no doubt they think I am a complete monster. I will also never forget this summer I was walking with my wife and spotted her on my street. I quickly jumped into my car like a sniper was after me. My wife commented "you are being ridiculous" to which I replied "spoken by a sane, normal, healthy woman". She cyber-stalked her for a couple of YEARS after the breakup and I wouldn't put anything past her. Turns out she probably doesn't know I live there and is dating someone a couple of streets over. I have to resist saying to the new guy (who looks quite normal) ""hey, call me if you need to be bailed out of jail". Poor guy has no idea what he is in for once she 'splits' on him.

In short, she would NEVER get a date from a 'normal' man if she didn't go online with their skewed gender ratios. I still shake my head at women with inflated egos demanding the world and offering almost nothing in return... and men still continue to date them.