Still haven't found a girlfriend

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Well today i walked 3 miles back home from my college. I feel better after that and i saved my 1.90 bus ticket

it will bring me huge devastating if the girl i'm seeing right now, puts me in the friend zone, i've only had 1 date with her so far, she agreed to go on a second date with me, thats sort of a milestone with me because i think i've only been on 1 second date in my whole life

Don't waste time buying into the "friendzone" concept.

Why? Put it into perspective: Ultimately (I assume) you want a gf for a LTR, marriage, family, and the works. Which means ULTIMATELY you are writing off the entire female population except one. Which means every girl friendzones you (except one), and you friendzone every girl (except one). You are going to write them all off, and the likelihood is EXTREMELY HIGH that the girl you are seeing is one of many for you and you are one of many for her.

Depressed yet? That's the whole point. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT give this so-called "friendzone" any power. Keep an open mind. Don't get locked so quickly into exclusive relationships unless you have absolutely no doubt it's right for you both. Be open to seeing "just friends" on the off chance it turns into something. At worst, you got some good experience going out and getting to know someone, which is really all dating is, anyway.

You are on the right track. Don't worry about the friendzone. Ignore it out of existence. We all go through this. I hope things go well for you two together. Rejection and breakups HURT. But I promise everything will be ok.

Quick story time: My mom had a perverse way of putting curses on my relationship. No matter how hard she tried, my ex-fiancée refused to try to get along with her. Mom was glad when I left her. The next girl I dated, she said, "Well, she's nice, but when you break up there will be plenty of nice girls..." Mom, REALLY? Sure enough, we broke up. Twice. Then I met a girl who could do no wrong by Mom. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of her. Mom didn't help. 18 years and 3 kids later...

Great - exercise is really beneficial on many levels.

About "friendzone," often the best relationships emerge after a long time as being friends.

well its been a ok week. Havent really spoken to lots of girls but there is a good thing, some of the care workers that go to my drama group are female and i talk to them lots. Also a girl called Alex at my college seems to like me as a friend and aways says hi but she has a bf

Alex is SOMETHING.

Like I've said before, bf/gf relationships are dynamic. Her status could change at any time. Always good to be there when it does.

now i just hope she doesn't flake or cancel the second date on me, or even worse, ghost on me

can i ask what age range should i be looking at. im 24 nearly 25 now so over 20 or 19 or older then me

I Have been feeling a bit better now. Trying to lose weight and succeeding.

I'm going to try another one of AngelRho.

There is this girl/Women called Sionedd i like. She has Blonde Hair and is in Manchester studying Sign Language. She supports Wales in the rugby and is 23 years old. She isn't looking for a boyfriend or anything but thats fine because she is just a good friend. Before she went off to University we had a sort of group get together and i brought her some nice soaps and a note book before she went off to Uni and i even got a hug off her.

Hmmm..."before she went off..." I take it you haven't seen her in some time? You should invite her to lunch and ask about how she's doing.

The "not looking for a boyfriend" is troubling. That's just a nice way of saying she's not interested in you. I learned early on that there's a secret code of sorts people speak. If you don't understand it, it's hard to know where you stand with some people, but there you go. At least you have the proper attitude about it. Rejection is a way of life when dating, and the sooner you deal with it the better.

But, yeah, she sounds like she could be good for lunch/afternoon coffee/tea or whatever casual get-togethers you do over there.

I agree that "isn't looking for a boyfriend" means that she's probably not interested, but maybe she could introduce you to one of her girlfriends.

LOL LOL, she isn't looking for a boyfriend because i haven't asked her and i know because she is lesbian. Lol

And i can't really see her at the moment regularly because she is over 60 miles from where i live but like i said she is a good friend

Good thinking.

@cricketman: lol

I was thinking about how many times I've gotten that line and taken it literally. And barring the possibility she's just not into guys, it really stung when when I found out they were IAR a week or two later.

If I had it to do all over again, I'd say "it's pizza, not a marriage proposal." It probably wouldn't have changed anything, but it beats sending the wrong message and TOTALLY blowing your chances.

One of my fav movies is 500 Days Of Summer. It's TEXTBOOK dealing with rejection and breakups. The girl is truly heinous. But the story is told from the guy's POV, and it becomes clear he's an unreliable narrator. That movie comes to mind because of how often girls can be so fickle, how often she might say something, mean something else, or just plain be lying. As guys, we want so much for everything to be right in the relationship, to believe things are as we want them to be, and we're left alone trying to work out what happened.

That's what "not looking for a bf" is all about (unless she's a lesbian, lol). Suppose you did get a date, then an ongoing relationship of sorts, then she suddenly starts going out with another guy. You only have yourself to blame, because she told you she wasn't looking.

Well i still haven't got a girlfriend but i'm starting to feel more positive about my life. I know that one day i will be married and have kids. I just haven't found the right one yet and she hasn't found me.

Hopefully in the next 5-10 years i will get more confident, have new experiences and have more money and look a better weight.

I am only 24 so have loads of time left.

What the hell does "IAR" mean, "in a relationship"? Why don't you just write "in a relationship"?

Because I'm tl;dr as it is. Besides, it's a commonly used phrase enough people can figure it out.

Also, dating and online dating especially have their own lingo. For example, the dreaded: "BBW seeks DDF BBC for discreet NSA fun. Can host."