Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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I've pretty much have given my analysis to this. I speak from experience and self-reflection. It took me a long time to obtain these answers. I used the concepts from my critical thinking class and discovered others online. This is a similar concept as to why some college graduates have major problems obtaining a job in their field.

As a metaphor think of it like this. A car needs gas to operate. On the other hand just because a car has gas that doesn't mean it will operate. Gas alone in a car is insufficient but necessary for a car to operate. This is the problem that guys who see themselves as nice are running into. This is the same problem college graduates are having when trying to obtain a job. In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. There may be other requirements that may not have been looked at or thought of.

Greb and others, what do you personally think of what I have said and my conclusions? Greb, If I have made any personal insults to you in anyway, shape or form, I did not mean to do so. I may do it without meaning to and if I made an insult to you by accident will you please let me know that I did and tell me why you perceive it as an insult.

Well, I think the main problem here is that you're taking for granted something that one of the video's points is precissaly to debate: that nice guys think that they're entitled to have a relationship.

Because this is something that is widely repeated and is based in.... nothing. You know: things are based in facts. You're an abusive partner because you abuse. You're a cheater because you cheat. Exactly, in what is based all this statement about 'being entitled' besides some ambiguous thoughts?.

What you have, basically, is unrequitted love. Somebody loves, or likes, and he or she is unrequitted. And he or she keeps hope. And well, it's a kind of relation. I have been several times in both sides: friendzoned and friendzoning, so I understand quite well how both sides feel. And it's complicated, for one side can be a little hurting, for the other one can be a little uncomfortable. But we're in a free world, and people can choose freely their relations. If you're friendzoned or friendzoning and you keep meeting this person, it's your choice. And it's not such a big thing. It's just the f*****g unrequitted love that has existed the whole history and nobody started to blame and demonize until now.

Have you heard some women talking about friendzoned? It's like 'you're only nice to me because you want to get me sexually and you don't consider me a real person' and... it's so f*****g dirty. It's just a guy trying to be nice to have something with a girl he likes because he doesn't know any other better way to flirt, something that many girls do too, by the way. And suddenly it's something dirty, and perverted... it's like looking at other people's through a lens full of s**t.

You have seen how many insults have been dropped in this thread? It's like.... hate. Basically hate.

Have you read the two articles the video I posted to open this thread were answering? You can read things like that:

The truth is, women are allowed to say no. If your feelings aren't returned and your heart happens to be hanging around in your large intestine, I'm a little sorry (that you were a jerk). I hope you're going to change your ways and that you'll be able to treat the next girl you meet with respect, but the next time I see you complain about getting "friendzoned", I hope she rips out something other than your heart.

You transform the f*****g traditional unrequitted love in something perveted and wicked that represents 'Evil'. And then you write paragraphs like this one assigning yourself the role of 'Good' and feeling that you're doing good when spitting all this hate.

Seriously, this much worse than being rejected or not being rejected, that is insignificant. What matters is that there's a whole generation of women, in which many of them are in the edge of sociopathy.

kill it with fire

And more insults against a large general group of women.

Sometimes you do have some insightful comments, but you seem to need to sandwich them between such vitriol. This obviously is putting a lot of respondents on the defensive and is polarizing this discussion. I don't understand people who thrive on antagonism.

But the word "general" means "general" .... and so, if he's insulting a general group of women then uhhhhh.... derpa derp herp derp.

Anyway, more to the point.... why do you have to be so insulting towards this poor fellow ?
Calling him antagonistic and suchlike... so cruel and heartless.
You probably step on kittens just for fun, you evil wench !

Nah, just chop them up and boil them into stew...

Here's a good cat recipe: http://catrecipes.com/recipes/braisedcat.html

A good suggestion, although for optimal cat content I would recommend this one :

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ayano/cat-stew-for-those-cold-winter-days-9bp0

Grep, I don't logically follow. How did I take this for granted? I agree with that part of the video and like the video I debate it and don't agree that the nice guys truthfully feel entitled like a lot of feminists claim.

I'm sorry. I interpreted ' In both cases, the person inadvertently thinks that just because something is required for x it automatically means it is sufficient or guaranteed to obtain x. ' as a nice guy, as having something that is required (to treat a parter or a potential partner well), is automatically guaranteed (or entitled ) to obtain this partner. What does it mean then?

I wouldn't eat the calico, according to Japanese folklore they attract money. Not sure what mine does yet...

I will have to clarify further. In order for a guy to date a woman or vice versa sufficient conditions have to be met. It can't be just necessary. Data and going into relationships have a further restriction. One is not allowed to attempt to actively meet his or her sufficient conditions. In other words, one can't just try to arbitrarily try to change himself and be fake to go out on a date with her. One already has to meet the conditions or already have the desired criteria that the other person wants.

For example, let's say the person you want to date loves programming. One can't just all of a sudden love programming and try to become a programmer because they do. Nothing says that one can't work on his personality traits outside of a relationship or develop hobbies he actually does love. One has to choose the hobbies he loves, pick out his values, personality traits outside of a relationship. To try to meet her sufficient conditions like some nice guys try to do will not work. IMHO, seeking a relationship should not be actively sought out. Let's say someone loves to collect coins. If one wants to join a coin collecting club to make friends and share common interests then do it. You may inadvertently find someone you are compatible with.

If you love the beach then go to the beach. If you love programming then join a club or go on listserves to share code with other people. If you love fitness a lot then join a fitness club. You may meet someone you're compatible with. If you're not in a relationship, then don't worry about it and don't worry about who has what. Just live your life, start your own business, work on career development, have some fun or whatever.

Look! It's a nice guy, let's manipulate him to do stuff for us!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSpuVsLnl1k[/youtube]

One question: why do you consider that the typical 'nice guy' is changing his behaviour in order to get the girl?

Greb after reading oliveoilmums post. I can't deny that you are onto something.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/posts236743-start30.html

As a teen she left her maybe nice guy boyfriend for a bad boy who is now on death row. Extreme case, but it does say something alright