Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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This is so true. And it doesn't help when even your mother said to you things like: "Your sister will get married before you because men don't like women like you."

And she was right. They don't. How can I make a move on men who are not really that interested in me. I just look like a desperate loser.

Well, I usually act as serious as I can around women, and do my best to conceal my interest in anything to do with them, in order to minimize my creepines and the extent to which I'll be considered a pervert. It's not enough, because, whenever my eyes meet theirs, they look disgusted. Merely seeing them seems an unearned privilege that modern society shamelessly grants to the likes of me, and which cheapens them.



So most other guys will probably think they don't belong there.



As far as I know, being approachable is the best way to invite abuse, especially in women. That's why the last thing most women want to look is approachable.

I'm used to the idea that approaching women should be a nigh on impossible challenge. If it looks the least bit easy, I feel like I'd be cheating and probably taking advantage of them, so I stay away.

That's pretty much it. A very small percentage of all people don't fall into this category, but that is most of us for sure. Most human brains respond to social rejection in the same way they respond to pain induced by physical injury or stress.

If the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't want to initiate things either 100%, there is no point at being angry at biology. It's just a privilege men don't have and it's really silly to expect women on the spectrum who struggle with the same things to do what we all find so difficult and don't want to do, legal equality and cultural equality does not equal sameness nor do I think it should. I guess I have a bit of fatalistic outlook which I recognize is probably a coping/defense mechanism but it's not like I have no reason for pessimism. I'd say 2015 is an awful time to be alive.

I think women would want to hang out with these guys--provided they act naturally and don't act like they're seeking a date.

Why do people come on here and pronounce that women want "nada" to do with certain guys? What's the purpose in that? It's not going to help anybody. It's just a gratuitous insult.

El que nada no se ahoga.

I don't think this is true for me. When guys seem uncomfortable around me I don't think it's because they are shy. They seem more creeped out by me or indifferent than anything because of the of the way they act around me. I'm just not exactly sure why.

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I meant that I try to be friendly, but I'm still kind of distant. If I'm around people who aren't friendly or seem manipulative I try to make an effort stay distant though.

I've heard lots of men express the desire to date confident women. It's not uncommon at all, especially among confident men who are looking for an equal partnership in their romantic relationships.

Lots of people do not find awkwardness in women "cute"--they find it annoying and it puts them off. We are expected to know how to socialise fluently BECAUSE we are female. You don't actually listen to the perspectives of autistic women on this site or you would have noticed that already, because I am not the only woman who talks about the constant social rejection I face because of my awkwardness--not by a long shot. Maybe learn to listen to women instead of telling them what their experiences have been.

Confident women are women who confidently tell you to go to hell

Actually, you're steering this exactly the direction I want it to go.

So, let's say aspie males and aspie females really do have it equally difficult (I do believe this).

A new question, that may or may not evoke controversy: Which gender do you think is more inclined to 'step-up' and commit themselves to the necessary steps to overcome social challenges and find more success in their social life? Is gender (and other socio-cultural influencing factors such as what country you were born in or age) entirely irrelevant?

My hypothesis is that it's equal, but if anyone's interested, it'd be interesting to add this to the debate.

Population decline overall isn't a bad thing as there are already too many people on Earth to sustain its recourses and some places with extremely high population densities (India, China, etc.) could do without it.

But, you're right just google 'Number of single people increasing in the U.S' and you'll see hundreds of sources/articles saying to the official US census that the number of single people is growing. Quick link: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sour ... ETnjfbGzk4

Never said they didn't desire I said they don't reject women based on if their confident or not. They'll not like oh that girl didn't ask me out she lacks confidence what a a loser.
They'll not like oh my date didn't take control of the date, plan everything and then suprise kiss me what a loser never going out with her again.

Confidence just doesn't play a major role in most men deciding to or picking to date a woman. Men are suppose to be the confidence take charge ones. I constantly hear women complaining about men lacking confidence or God forbid showing emotion or fear or anxiety.

Well nerdy, outdoors, and just about every man I've met or know does find awkwardness cute in women. So i dont know where you live. Men have to know how to socialize fluently too not knowing how is called lacking confidence. I do listen but I disagree with some of it. No and I never said you were I said that all the aspie women on here don't share the same experience of social rejection you claim to at least not when it comes to males seeking their attention and such. Yep they share social rejection from women and complain about how mean women are to them.
Ther s quite a large amount of men who will date anything with bombs and a vagina. Most women are pretty in my eyes. Most women I see have relationships.

Perhaps we are talking about different awkwardness
Imp talking about being a shy girl who's into gaming, Star Wars, Star Trek, shooting, guns, hikes, or etc. suppose of its like scary awkward then that would be universally unattractive regardless of gender. So if you mean shy as in creepily stares at a person for 30 mins straight then yeah that'd be unattractive. But shy and figdgets is cute.

Nerdy girls are hot to most guys as most guys are into some kind of nerdy thing. Though it seems that a lot of women consider being into a nerdy non standard female things wrong. They also see men being into such things as childish and he'll have to give it up when gets into a relationship. I was always told that did have to sell my games and guns if I get into a relationship or married. Yet it's ok for women to have shot ton of clothes and shoes 0.o really quite common place dilemma men talk and joke about. Whether they'll choose their gf or their hobbies. Don't see why it has to be a demilma. What ever though you came here with an axe to grind against men, that was clear when you said you had to hide and pretend to be w man to be accepted here, you pre judged all us male aspies long before you came to this site.
You'll always see men as e enemy and evil , really no point in talking to you so I'll try to just skip over your posts from now on, I suggest you do the same for mine.

Yep and someone posted links showing same for uk.

Tell that to the thousands of people who have judged me for being shy, and tell that to all the other autistic women who've been rejected COUNTLESS TIMES for being awkward and acting the wrong way. You are talking over me, not listening to what I'm saying, not reading my words and actually trying to consider where I am coming from at all. You are completely ignoring what I am saying my experience has been, and what so many other autistic women have expressed on this forum, over and over again, and saying "no it's not like that" except IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT FOR US TOO!! !! !! !! !! ! We get rejected ALL THE TIME-- ALL THE f*****g TIME--by girls and guys alike, in all different types of social interactions--BECAUSE WE ARE AWKWARD AND SHY and it puts people off--JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! If you're not going to pay any attention to anything I actually say, then stop commenting on my posts. It is frustrating and upsetting, to have you just talk over me and ignore everything I say. I don't want to talk to you anymore, it is pointless.

Wilferforce, I think you are right. I know there are a number of girls, even attractive girls who have never been asked out. And if they are also too shy to ask someone out (a phenomenon that can happen to girls or guys), then it's a two way street that's being blocked at both ends. I for one like charismatic girls.

True enough there are more single people than there used to be. I also think there are more shy people than there used to be. I know there are plenty of single girls who want a boyfriend and plenty of single guys who want a girlfriend. It should be easy to get these two groups together. It should be but it's not.

Because people are more shy than they used to be? Shy people have always existed but nowadays they're far more commonplace. They used to be rare. Why? Why are we as a society becoming more paranoid? Is it because we're becoming more litigious? and/or more conformist? and/or are we increasingly measuring ourselves against an unrealistic ideal of success?

If you watch movies from the 50s, the smartest and most successful were venerated above ordinary people. Nowadays, we take the smartest and most successful people and say they are average. And then say everyone else is below average.

We take the ideal of the perfect person and then misuse it by saying it is the ordinary person and then any deviation is an aberration. We say that imperfect people are below average. This is a lie. The average person is far from perfect and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

I think this is what makes people shy and paranoid. I'm not sure who or what did this to our culture. I'm not sure if this is intentional culture control or if it's just culture evolving naturally.

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 21 Dec 2015, 3:43 am, edited 1 time in total.