Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why are women so desperate for men?

Page 24 of 26 [ 408 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

13 Nov 2017, 6:47 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But honestly, it's me who 'struggle' more with monogamy, for example I like the idea of 2F1M threesome but my gf hates to share.


I'm the complete opposite. I'm extremely sexually exclusive, if my hypothetical girlfriend wanted an open relationship, I would end it immidiately.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

13 Nov 2017, 6:57 am

Quote:
As Daniel Bergner writes in the New York Times, women are far more likely to lose interest in sex with their partners. This doesn’t necessarily translate into infidelity—a choice many reject because it’s so hurtful—but, Bergner reports, spouse-weary women often just avoid sex altogether.

This. From the article Genius linked. In women, the struggle with monogamy is mostly not about wanting too many partners but about not wanting any sex at all.
This is consistent with being happy outside relationships or dating, with no sex.
This is what I meant telling about the picky eaters: not eating is not a problem unless they are literally starving. And you can't die from lack of sex.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Nov 2017, 7:05 am

Some women are quite monogamous, others want at least three men in bed at the same time.

Same with men, and three women.

I believe this is more common with men---but, really, it's the individual person that counts.



314pe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

13 Nov 2017, 7:40 am

magz wrote:
Quote:
As Daniel Bergner writes in the New York Times, women are far more likely to lose interest in sex with their partners. This doesn’t necessarily translate into infidelity—a choice many reject because it’s so hurtful—but, Bergner reports, spouse-weary women often just avoid sex altogether.

This. From the article Genius linked. In women, the struggle with monogamy is mostly not about wanting too many partners but about not wanting any sex at all.

And not wanting any sex at all could become an issue. When you stop feeling attraction to your partner, then even small things start to really irritate you. Like picking up socks from the floor, picking hair from bathtub drain or buying wrong milk.

For example, I know a girl who dumped her boyfriend, because he incorrectly hung his clothes to dry (funny fact, in some places due to high gas and electricity prices driers are not used). Was that the real problem? Of course not, but I guess she just stopped feeling attracted to him and small daily things started to irritate her.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Nov 2017, 7:59 am

hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Apparently a study says women are happier being single than men

I agree that women are really (way) less happy in relationships than men, but I don't think that 'doing more chores' is the complete answer here. My wife does less work than I do, but still she is (way) less happy.


The article mentions emotional labour as well.


Isn't that a two way street? Men and women both give each other emotional support. The article suggests women give more emotional support than men but we know that's not true.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,114
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 8:06 am

Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But honestly, it's me who 'struggle' more with monogamy, for example I like the idea of 2F1M threesome but my gf hates to share.


I'm the complete opposite. I'm extremely sexually exclusive, if my hypothetical girlfriend wanted an open relationship, I would end it immidiately.


(Whisper: it's not an attractive trait, they respond way better when they assume I am a playboy).



Closet Genious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,225
Location: Sweden

13 Nov 2017, 8:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But honestly, it's me who 'struggle' more with monogamy, for example I like the idea of 2F1M threesome but my gf hates to share.


I'm the complete opposite. I'm extremely sexually exclusive, if my hypothetical girlfriend wanted an open relationship, I would end it immidiately.


(Whisper: it's not an attractive trait, they respond way better when they assume I am a playboy).


Oh I know that. I don't lie about it though, instead I avoid revealing too much, and give vague answers. Especially before I know what her opinions and values are, I don't want her to just mimic what I say to get me to like her.



314pe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2014
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,013

13 Nov 2017, 8:49 am

But stereotypicaly in relationships women want to get married more than men. Yes, usually men propose, but often pushed by women. Also wedding is a very woman oriented thing. Also usually female friends get excited when friend is getting married, whereas male friends are more neutral. Any ideas why?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,114
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 9:00 am

314pe wrote:
But stereotypicaly in relationships women want to get married more than men. Yes, usually men propose, but often pushed by women. Also wedding is a very woman oriented thing. Also usually female friends get excited when friend is getting married, whereas male friends are more neutral. Any ideas why?


For the amount of tons of photos and videos on facebook over the next 10 years.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

13 Nov 2017, 10:20 am

314pe wrote:
magz wrote:
Quote:
As Daniel Bergner writes in the New York Times, women are far more likely to lose interest in sex with their partners. This doesn’t necessarily translate into infidelity—a choice many reject because it’s so hurtful—but, Bergner reports, spouse-weary women often just avoid sex altogether.

This. From the article Genius linked. In women, the struggle with monogamy is mostly not about wanting too many partners but about not wanting any sex at all.

And not wanting any sex at all could become an issue. When you stop feeling attraction to your partner, then even small things start to really irritate you. Like picking up socks from the floor, picking hair from bathtub drain or buying wrong milk.

For example, I know a girl who dumped her boyfriend, because he incorrectly hung his clothes to dry (funny fact, in some places due to high gas and electricity prices driers are not used). Was that the real problem? Of course not, but I guess she just stopped feeling attracted to him and small daily things started to irritate her.

Yes, sure, this is an issue. You know how I deal with it? I find my partner attractive in many more dimensions than sex. I love his mind, his creativity. I know he values my mind. So when the sexual drive is generally low, we still see each other as attractive, in other terms. And then a day comes when we are relaxed, enjoying each other and the sexual drive comes back.
It is an issue but it can be overcome in many ways, often outside strictly sexual space.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Nov 2017, 10:26 am

Yep....the sex is always better when you don't feel obligated to "perform."

I have a decent sex drive----but it's not necessary for me to "get it on" every day.

And a nice relaxing time on the couch always stokes the juices....



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,114
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 12:02 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But honestly, it's me who 'struggle' more with monogamy, for example I like the idea of 2F1M threesome but my gf hates to share.


I'm the complete opposite. I'm extremely sexually exclusive, if my hypothetical girlfriend wanted an open relationship, I would end it immidiately.


(Whisper: it's not an attractive trait, they respond way better when they assume I am a playboy).


Oh I know that. I don't lie about it though, instead I avoid revealing too much, and give vague answers. Especially before I know what her opinions and values are, I don't want her to just mimic what I say to get me to like her.


I was like this.

You’re still young - your views will change eventually.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,114
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Nov 2017, 12:07 pm

^ in fact; the “playboy allure” that some of the dates assume and perceive from me (and at some point I exploit it to my advantage) is the only convincing justification for my single status at my age, in their minds at least.

It is by far better than to be perceived as someone who failed to get married till this age due to lack of social skills or other stuff.

So yeah, the playboy card all the way.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

13 Nov 2017, 12:47 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Apparently a study says women are happier being single than men

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/11/women-prefer-single-relationships-hard-work/

Gotta say, the older I get the less appealing a relationship is. Especially as I know people in relationships who are unhappy. I'd rather be free and single. I'm past that being curious stage and I don't care now. No one has ever wanted me, I'm sick of being judged as not good enough. I'm going my own way.

Well that articl is depressing



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

13 Nov 2017, 1:00 pm

314pe wrote:
But stereotypicaly in relationships women want to get married more than men. Yes, usually men propose, but often pushed by women. Also wedding is a very woman oriented thing. Also usually female friends get excited when friend is getting married, whereas male friends are more neutral. Any ideas why?


actually, there was an article in psychology today giving the results of a poll on happiness. single women were happier than married women. married men were happier than single men. these are averages. your mileage will vary. but it shows that those who benefit most often from marriage are men.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

13 Nov 2017, 1:01 pm

hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The article mentions emotional labour as well.

You mean that men invest less and women more emotionally in a relationship? Could you elaborate more what do you think about this?


My respective from what I've seen of unhappy couples I know is the woman feels like she's always the one sorting everything out and gets no support.

She's the one who keeps the wheels greased and things moving. She has to remind him to pay that bill, cut that hedge before we can't get through the gate anymore, remember your lunch, get a haircut, please wash that t-shirt it smells you can't wear it again, you need to wipe the gunk out from around the taps not just wipe the sink ... these women replace Mum's they're not wives they're surrogate mothers.

Same with emotional things they care for how the children feel if they're getting bullied, they patch up broader family issues, remind x they should phone y because Grandma died and they actually do want some comfort and would like to hear your voice, yes it would be good if you went to your nieces wedding.

They get tired and stressed with it all and feel like no one is there to support them emotionally. They feel like they're always giving out, managing things, not getting any relief.


I remind my female relatives to do stuff or pay bills lol
I’m guess the hedge and shirt doesn’t bother him but does bother her,so it’s more a her issue. I do my own laundry too and I’d gladly do my gf laundry if I had one. I assume could be done together unless Curtis. Clothes are special requirements like my work shirts. Though would women like me less for doing laundry as it’d bee seen as feminine.
I pack my own lunch I could pack her a sandwich. Maybe those women should date me instead:p