Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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Pero si no puedes nadar?

Entonces no digas "nada"

Bueno... No puedo nadar y no puedo nada

I certainly do like confident women.....though such women are actually quite rare. And confidence isn't necessarily extroversion mind you. But to be perfectly honest, confidence is second place to looks when it comes to sexual attraction and I'm quite sure the majority of men feel this way. I'm sure some confident men who are highly desirable will choose the most confident among women they think are pretty.


I know plenty of shy women who have men chasing after them because of how they look. If you are female, the thing that men care most about is your appearance. Women also care about looks too! Men judge women on their weight and women judge men on their height. Emotional instability in men is something women are really turned off by along with poor social skills. The bottom line is that men and women don't want the same things in a partner. Women are much harder to please and having know plenty IRL.



What I keep reading is that many autistic women don't have the same difficulties attracting partners but they often end up in abusive relationships or at least have problems relating to their NT partners.

NT Women usually want confident, outgoing guys. Women are expected to be pursued, and playing hard to get (being shy, demure) are considered virtues. Women who are too outgoing or provocative with the opposite sex are usually looked down upon. So in these regards, an AS male is probably going to have a more difficult time getting a date than an AS female would.

There's no need to play hard to get if you really are hard to get.

You've nailed it, and I personally think it is evolving naturally out of advertising, which is a pervasive form of social engineering that has been analyzed but not fully understood. We're also getting meaner, more judgmental, and less empathetic and reflective as a culture.

But when I say this, I speak of the WEIRD culture (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic). Luckily, it is continuing to evolve and I hope we can nudge it toward empathy and acceptance.

That will be hard to do given how most of the things we're being exposed to these days such as advertising and the news are motivated not by compassion or a desire for excellence but rather by greed.

Yes there is. It's a way to stroke ones ego because you like being chased.


There are plenty of men who do like it when women ask them out or pursue them....particularly when it comes to sex. But women for the most part only do that with a select few men out there! Most men aren't desirable enough to be chased after by women.



@Wilburforce: You're right that women get rejected too. But I'd like to point out to you that for perhaps a number of different reasons, women seem to handle rejection better than men. A big part of it could be that they often have a support network(including men and definitely other women)to help them cope with it. The fact that women are more social and have solidarity with each other(though not always! ladies do compete)and often steadfast lifelong loyalty to their girlfriends makes it easier for them to cope with these things. Whereas men have to do it all alone....

Young people have an easier time getting dates. A few days ago, a colleague expressed surprise when I mentioned that I'm 28. He said I only look 24. The next day, I go onto OKC and message the charming girl pictured below, aged 21. She says "You're out of my age bracket soz". Her page says her age bracket is 18 - 26.

But I look 24! That means I should be in her age bracket. It's hard being old. Young people have a much easier time getting dates. If only I'd started doing this when I was younger. It would have been so much easier back then.

it seems like a meat market to me. this angst and worry about "dates" and image and stuff.
if i say something that someone likes and they realize they have never heard that flavor of sentiment before and they like it, then it is likely that further communication will result regardless of image or whatever.

it seems strange to me that some people may think "as long as i am wearing this stylish hat, everything i say will mean more", or that some people may think that pouting an idea with a sexy face makes that idea any more fundamentally exciting.

men do not look as good as women in an aesthetic sense (true for both sexes), and so they are more rarely sought for their looks, and the opposite is also true for women so it is inevitable that women are sought more than men.

whatever. it is just the luck of the draw.

Oh, but, if you really are hard to get, you don't need to play games---you get your ego stroked for free as a result of being yourself. Can't get any better than that.




That makes me think the natural order of things is for all the women to be with those select few, and the rest of us to be celibate for life.

Age bracket isn't just about looks. It's also about life experience: grades completed, experience working, experience traveling, formative social events, simple experience living, etc. Try messaging people who are closer to your actual age, not what age you perceive yourself to look like or what one person told you that you look like (others might have different opinions).

Who the f**k cares what the "natural order of things" is. Just because it's natural, doesn't mean it's good.


And if you're really hard to get you probably don't need to play it......But even so women play hard to get because it gives them a sense of power.

That is true. I have simply decided that difficult does not equal impossible (and I see this mentally as a mathematical inequality) and that I will not give up on doing my part merely because it is difficult.

This is a self-downing and self-defeating statement. You've already dated an attractive young woman at least once. Yes, it didn't result in a lasting relationship, but you're missing the point if you only focus on the end. This whole thread is probably not helping you achieve your actual goal, which IS achievable. You're not wrong, you're not broken, life hasn't passed you by, and you HAVE been making strides forward in all areas of your life in spite of setbacks and roadblocks. This thread is basically yet another long discussion about how life isn't fair. This is completely 100% accurate no matter what sex, race, gender identity, ethnic group, or spot on the ball of rock you occupy. The universe isn't a fair place. Steve Jobs, millionaire and star entrepreneur, died from what was originally an operable form of pancreatic cancer. He refused the operation that could have kept him with us. This is not fair. Not to his wife, his kids, to his world, to him. It sucks. He no doubt also got a lot of unfair breaks which helped make him the rock star he was. It's so easy to see that focusing only on the endpoint, the unfairness and bad luck that led to his death, would be ridiculous. So easy, yet what do we do when confronted with our own disappointment, failure, bad luck, and misfortune? Yeah.

I invite you to abandon this thread and start a new one based on what you have gotten right, achieved, done well, and learned in the past year.

Oh, and, you think you're OLD? Don't make me laugh, youngun. I'm 51, and I met the love of my life when I was 34. He was 27, and I was his FIRST romantic partner. He'd had girlfriends before, but was a virgin when we met. We had an 11 year run, I broke up with him 5 1/2 years ago but remained close friends, and now we are back together again by mutual choice. There were, and still are lots of times when I felt exactly as you seem to now, yet in spite of being past my expiration date and apparently of no use to the male species, I'm in a relationship with an understanding, loving partner.

Self-downing is neither accurate nor useful, and it can be interrupted. So just stop it, please.