Just avoiding the subject here.

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My ASD assessor observed/asked me: "You don't relax much, do you?" I thought to myself "Untrue, I relax: I do [this], I do [that], I do, do, do." and then thought what "relax" is supposed to mean and thought "True, I don't stop much." I think the result is that I smiled at him. Maybe shrugged.

For me, in part it's avoidance of angst-producing concerns or tasks. If I am "doing" something it's ok to avoid those things, if I were "relaxing" they'd come to mind. I guess that's where "meditation" is supposed to be helpful --- it's ok not to be doing something, let those thoughts pass. Ummm, why would I need not to be doing something? Would I have less anxiety? Would I live longer? I've tried it here and there but haven't been able to establish a routine; I go back to doing.

It's not like I placed anything off limits anyway, the only thing that shuts my brain usually off is cannabis. A nice drive when I don't miss any shifts can do the trick, as does skiing. I haven't even spent the gas money to get out of the city & actually go mountain biking this year. Ski season was cut short as well but I actually caught the last day here.

I guess in short I'm not picky about what I see as meditation.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

martianprincess, so many things I could say about that. (smile and shrug)

cberg, good point. I was a little stunned when I learned that my bedtime visualizations were a type of meditation. Oh, well, then, doing that.

Oh hi everyone,

How is your little speck of the simulation going lately?

Well my job is weird & stressful but everyone thinks it's cool anyway. My work friend & I tried 3D scanning my house with a quadripedal robot "dog" & we might've broken a very expensive LiDAR when it fell over on the lawn. There's new firmware coming along to supposedly solve the balance on grass issue though.



Thus concludes my synopsis of my life sans social life - there are a lot of GPS antennas, cameras & lasers. I'm a guinea pig intern for a strange variety of vaguely defined grand experiments. There is an end in sight unless we get a hell of a lot more work done.

I want to keep hiding out doing what I can in robotic disneyland indefinitely until I've calmed the frack down enough to talk to women without falling back on my coder brain.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm not really allowed to discuss the actual job I have to focus on anyway. Thankfully there's 2 orders of magnitude less money in corporate gear by my desk in my room. I have a lot to learn about architecture as it turns out, but I need to find myself the time.

Does anyone want to contribute to the buy cberg a new desk & another monitor fund?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I mean I wish more people understood how much my brain's been sidetracked from real life in the interest of furthering technology.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

^^^somebody's gotta do it and you seem eminently qualified

26+ pages...

Still avoiding the subject?

More or less. It's just a stream of consciousness now, if it's all as pointless as guys here say then I want to eventually know what we're really posting about anyway.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Martian, you're giving us the side eye, or are your lips sideways, or is that perfect? (re: profile pick)