Got anything random to say? L&D Version.

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I tend to be quiet in social situations partly due to not knowing what I want to or should say & also partly due to me being used to others not really listening to me or misinterpreting what I've said & getting upset. I also know discussing politics is a very hot button topic & most people have their minds made up. I tend to not say much when others are discussing politics even when I agree with them.

I know lots of others are different & I respect that. Cass rants to me about politics a lot & we mostly agree. We vote exactly the same. I do feel very strongly about some issues we agree on & also some issues we slightly disagree on but I find the discussion kinda draining probably partly because I don't like her being upset. I usually manage to not get very s#cked-up into it.

My bf always used to say to me that he loves me more than I love him. I had to nip that right in the bud and he doesn't say it anymore

But I'm thinking that he doesn't love me more than I love him, it's just that he's more insecure than me

I don't know what love is

I'm sorry but it has to be done...

I struggle with the definition, and not really sure when I'm receiving it, and I do think giving it is much easier.

Friendship on the other hand I have absolutely no concept of.

I was thinking this.




https://youtu.be/r3Pr1_v7hsw?si=PZk064iHLlug2em-

I think that love is sincerity. To be genuine and vulnerable because you have enough trust to simply...exist in each other's space. I suppose it's difficult to define because I think that it exists in many different forms rather than just romantic.

To love is to care and to make an effort. Love is to show up for the other, yet also be able to happily exist independently.

I often think about how people say that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. When someone you care about betrays you, that betrayal tends to hurt a lot more because of the emotional investment. You expected better of them.

I think that's what the concept is referring to anyway. Although I'm not entirely sure what to make of the whole love / hate concept. I'm somewhat fascinated by the idea in a cultural sense. I'll refrain from getting into mythology though. Otherwise I'd talk for hours.

The fantasies you have when you're a young person are really lovely but funny as well

I can remember living with another girl in a hostel and we used to dream about the house we was gonna get together and how it was gonna look and the big housewarming we was gonna have etc ect

Such a nice thing to look back on when I think

I feel embarrassed just remembering some of the things that I used to fantasize about when I was a teenager. I had very romantic notions, probably inspired by the literature and poetry I read and the music I listened to and just not being around other people due to being homeschooled and isolated. What I really wanted, removing all of the romantic silliness, was a normal relationship with someone who actually cared.

Dreaming about escaping your situation isn't anything to feel embarrassed about imo

We never did get a place together. In fact I haven't seen or heard from her in over 30 years but the dream of what we was gonna do is still a good thing to look back on

^ Yeah, you’re probably right.

I think for me the fantasy made being hit with reality that much harder, not that that was normal reality. It’s just how I felt at the time. I don’t know if that makes any sense.

Yeah I get what you mean there but it also maybe helped you to survive all of that

I dunno really either

I wonder if choosing to love a person for ever is in a way a shot at redemption

Interesting. Do go on...

Saw a poster for neurodivergent speed dating downtown. Sounds fun. I would go but it’s 18+, so…