Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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I wouldn't call them stupid, but I would call them ignorant. I noticed that teenage girls almost always ignore nice guys and go for the ones every guy knows to be as*holes, however as they get older many women seem to pass that phase. Nevertheless, as a 16-year-old nice guy that's extremely frustrating and it's easy to become contemptuous of women's intelligence.



It does appear, though, as if most women are more attracted to "cool" and "macho" losers than to nice guys.



In my opinion, at least 90% of all people (regardless of race, gender or social background) is too stupid to have any sort of authority or irresponsible towards other people. Does that count?

I only date women of above-average intelligence and I've had about 5 exes.

You are 16 and you have 5 smart exes?

You are getting more than a lot of 16 year olds.

What exactly was your complaint? Would you prefer to be going out with less intelligent girls?

I'm 28 and had my first girlfriend when I was 19.

When I said "as a 16-year-old nice guy that's extremely frustrating and it's easy to become contemptuous of women's intelligence" I was referring to how I felt when I was 16. Back then, I noticed that the greatest @$$holes o my age all had a girlfriend, whereas anyone I actually liked never could get any....

Amen, Bro - I could not have worded it better myself. The ultimate truth of the dating game is this.......men might approach but ultimately women choose who they want to be with. If - given this - women are not clever enough to choose a partner that will treat them well, that is their own fault. That many women make the same mistakes over and over again says a lot for how much social intelligence a lot of women actually have.

What does "treat them well" mean to you? In what way would you be different?

Good question but one that will have to satisfied with a fairly nebulous answer. I have always imagined a woman I was with as one I would treat with respect, care and affection. She would be my equal in life and the other half of my existence. I would never hit her or abuse her - I have never treated any female like that and I would never wish to. I know to a lot of women this all probably sounds a bit wimpy (especially to the women who go out with jerks), but that is how I would treat the woman of my dreams should I ever meet her.

-- I never broke up in any of my previous relationships even when things were going really bad, because I believe that everything is fixable if only both partners are willing to put enough effort into it.

-- I have always respected my partner's needs and tried to fulfill them as much as possible.

-- I have never cheated on any of my girlfriends and never will.

-- I would never physically abuse my partner.

-- Every woman I was into a relationship with was a woman I saw as the potential mother of my future children. I never saw the point of pursuing many short term relationships or a one day buzz.

Well said!

Well said!

For me I am attracted to nice guys. I haven't had that many nice guys attracted to me, I been getting all the jerks or dated all the jerks. Not so much fun.

I think most girls like the bad boy type, but I don't see why. When being treated horrible isn't a fun thing.

Even though most nice guys are shy, I even think it's very smexy. Yes, I said smexy.

That is the basis of my whole argument.


What is smexy?

Women go for guys with "jerky" attributes because they feel more comfortable with those who let a part of their dark side be visible to everyone. This means they can control it to a degree, and that they don't have a lot of surprises to hide.

Everyone has a dark side. Someone who appears to be always suppressing it to be "super nice" is intuitively perceived as a creepy timebomb.

BS.

Obviously I shouldn't have implied that this is true for all women. I meant the women who go for perceived "jerks" over perceived "nice guys" - thats part of the reason why.

It's still BS. Many women instinctively prefer jerks because they are more confident than nice guys. Women are attracted most of all to men who are very self-aware and confident. It has nothing to do with "showing your dark side".

The part where they're simply drawn to the perceived alpha male is axiomic, and has been here present since cro magnons and beyond. Someone to protect them, shelter them, feed them. It is a deeply imprinted instinct.

An alpha male is not necessarily a jerk, but we're talking about jerks here, right ?

So, an extension of that alpha male attraction is where "i like it when he's a jerk to others and nice to me". Women don't just like alpha males. Many are drawn to "bad boys", especially at younger age. Many admit so., in those very words - "I like bad boys".

Note the word "bad". Flawed. Unpredictable. Dangerous. Exciting.

Not afraid to be in touch with their dark side.

...

P.S.

Note that you use the term "jerks", without quotes, yourself - and in the same breath, imply that the term has no negative connotations. I am confused.