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Would you dump someone who got fat?

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hyperlexian
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14 May 2012, 8:35 pm

can i copy it over to the "essential love and dating" thread, techstep?


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14 May 2012, 9:13 pm

sluice wrote:
Would you continue dating someone who put on a bunch of weight after you got involved with them?

Both in theory and practice YES!! ! I have continued two relationships in the past with partners who put on weight, I will do so again in the future! IMHO its quite petty ending a relationship on the sole reason of a partner's weight change.

At the end of the day, its another person's body & they have the right to choice how to take care of it. To me the judgement of a person's weight for attractiveness is a superficial aspect of defining beauty. Beauty to me both outer beauty (physical) and inner (personality), I hold inner beauty of more value to me personally for attraction that some minor aspects of physical appearance like weight.

sluice wrote:
What about some other change like lost employment, committing a non-violent crime, crippled in
an accident?


I have been an relationship with one partner, where all three of them happened to her. I ended the relationship tho not solely for those reasons. If am in one of those situations again with another partner then, the choice of the future of the relationship can not be based on that factor alone, I'll have to look at other aspects before making my mind up.

sluice wrote:
Should you feel obligated to still stick with someone if that person dramatically changes from the person you first met?


Again I prefer to make that decision when it happens as there are other factors to think about before making a decision like that, I take it case by case in each relationship. I think what needs to be pointed out is that relationships are dynamic in the way there change, there times they can grow stronger and others weaker.

If there were static then it is be easier to make preplanned decisions, tho the truth is there not its like riding a roller coaster.


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techstepgenr8tion
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14 May 2012, 9:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
can i copy it over to the "essential love and dating" thread, techstep?

I guess, but to be clear as well I don't mean to step on toes and I don't want to see that wielded against anyone; I see it as a universal truth for anything anyone has going on in their life - to do so IMHO is the pot calling the kettle black.


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hyperlexian
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14 May 2012, 9:45 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
can i copy it over to the "essential love and dating" thread, techstep?

I guess, but to be clear as well I don't mean to step on toes and I don't want to see that wielded against anyone; I see it as a universal truth for anything anyone has going on in their life - to do so IMHO is the pot calling the kettle black.

ok i can refrain from it. i understand that you don't necessarily want people inspecting your post and using it that way.


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ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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15 May 2012, 3:40 am

No offence Techstep, but that's pretty f*cking obvious and a bit Geroge Carlin(esque). I actually feel it's quite condescending.
There are certain things society will never change its opinion of and to think you can is simply pissing in the wind. You either accept it, work within it... or don't.
Maybe someday we'll have somone who looks like Beth Ditto or fatter, modelling for Victoria's Secret and not make a large section of the world's population wince. I can't see it, though. Some fat girls will continue to refuse what I'm saying is the truth, so good luck with that, your stretch marks and your eventual complications. You're in denial.
I can't believe this thread has come this far. Seriously, you're not all shut-ins are you?



Marcia
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15 May 2012, 5:10 am

hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
first you change your thoughts, then change your behaviours. your emotions won't be far behind. as long as you reinforce the IDEA that fat people are unattractive your body will agree.


Wait up. You are advocating behavior modification.

If I suggested behavior modification for a transgender person instead of allowing them to mutilate themselves and take hormones, I imagine you would scream bloody murder.

why wouldn't you want to modify your behaviour to become attracted to obese women?


For the same reason that gay men and women wouldn't want to modify their behaviour to become attracted to the opposite sex?

I think it's very dodgy to suggest that people should make a conscious effort, for ideological/political/religious etc or any reason, to change who they are sexually attracted to. I would also think, although I haven't bothered to check, that evidence will show that it is a futile effort anyway. It's oppressive and controlling to attempt this type of behaviour modification, and I'd suggest that any "successful" instances are more likely to seem so because the individuals concerned have been coerced, brainwashed and threatened into apparent compliance.



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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15 May 2012, 5:16 am

I don't eat excrement. Many people don't like eating excrement. Why the f**k would I modify my behaviour to eat excrement?



hyperlexian
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15 May 2012, 2:02 pm

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:
I don't eat excrement. Many people don't like eating excrement. Why the f**k would I modify my behaviour to eat excrement?

so you are comparing liking obese people to eating excrement? 8O

Marcia, you didn't actually offer a reason why a person would not WANT to change their preferences. i am not talking about forcing someone to change, i am talking about people being openminded to the fact that preferences change and evolve anyways so people could choose to do so consciously. preferences are not hardwired. if i found that i had a preference that was bigoted, for example, i would want to change that. this is logical to me.

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


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rabbittss
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15 May 2012, 2:09 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


While, admittedly, the number of gay people I hang out with is extremely low, According to the gay people I've talked to, many of whom are obsessed with the idea that "Everyone is gay, they just don't know it yet", tend to belabor that conclusion to the point of obnoxiousness in their attempts to 'Convert' you.

Which makes it feel Oddly like what you are doing in this thread regarding overweight people..



hyperlexian
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15 May 2012, 2:16 pm

rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


While, admittedly, the number of gay people I hang out with is extremely low, According to the gay people I've talked to, many of whom are obsessed with the idea that "Everyone is gay, they just don't know it yet", tend to belabor that conclusion to the point of obnoxiousness in their attempts to 'Convert' you.

Which makes it feel Oddly like what you are doing in this thread regarding overweight people..

yes, it is noticeable that you do not really have gay friends. i do. i have never had a single one of them try to "convert" straight people. i am sure it happens (just like people try to convert gay people back to being straight, which i HAVE observed), but i am pretty certain it is rare. they don't get a free toaster oven for every straight they convert. :lol:


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15 May 2012, 2:16 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


While, admittedly, the number of gay people I hang out with is extremely low, According to the gay people I've talked to, many of whom are obsessed with the idea that "Everyone is gay, they just don't know it yet", tend to belabor that conclusion to the point of obnoxiousness in their attempts to 'Convert' you.

Which makes it feel Oddly like what you are doing in this thread regarding overweight people..

yes, it is noticeable that you do not really have gay friends. i do. i have never had a single one of them try to "convert" straight people. i am sure it happens (just like people try to convert gay people back to being straight, which i HAVE observed), but i am pretty certain it is rare. they don't get a free toaster oven for every straight they convert. :lol:


Why would I want to have Gay Friends? I'm not Gay, I have nothing in common with them.



hyperlexian
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15 May 2012, 2:19 pm

rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


While, admittedly, the number of gay people I hang out with is extremely low, According to the gay people I've talked to, many of whom are obsessed with the idea that "Everyone is gay, they just don't know it yet", tend to belabor that conclusion to the point of obnoxiousness in their attempts to 'Convert' you.

Which makes it feel Oddly like what you are doing in this thread regarding overweight people..

yes, it is noticeable that you do not really have gay friends. i do. i have never had a single one of them try to "convert" straight people. i am sure it happens (just like people try to convert gay people back to being straight, which i HAVE observed), but i am pretty certain it is rare. they don't get a free toaster oven for every straight they convert. :lol:


Why would I want to have Gay Friends? I'm not Gay, I have nothing in common with them.

you have to have your gender preferences in common with friends? why?


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15 May 2012, 2:20 pm

rabbittss wrote:

Why would I want to have Gay Friends? I'm not Gay, I have nothing in common with them.


I don't understand that. Just because they are gay doesn't mean you wouldn't have anything in common with them, any more than being straight means you have something in common with them.



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15 May 2012, 2:24 pm

I would dump someone if they get too skinny.



rabbittss
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15 May 2012, 2:26 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:

homosexuality is not a preference, by the way. that is what makes it distinct from something like this.


While, admittedly, the number of gay people I hang out with is extremely low, According to the gay people I've talked to, many of whom are obsessed with the idea that "Everyone is gay, they just don't know it yet", tend to belabor that conclusion to the point of obnoxiousness in their attempts to 'Convert' you.

Which makes it feel Oddly like what you are doing in this thread regarding overweight people..

yes, it is noticeable that you do not really have gay friends. i do. i have never had a single one of them try to "convert" straight people. i am sure it happens (just like people try to convert gay people back to being straight, which i HAVE observed), but i am pretty certain it is rare. they don't get a free toaster oven for every straight they convert. :lol:


Why would I want to have Gay Friends? I'm not Gay, I have nothing in common with them.

you have to have your gender preferences in common with friends? why?


Why not? I don't want to listen to them talk about their debauchery, buggery or what have you. It's again, simple preference. I stay out of their way, they stay out of mine, both of us are happier.



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15 May 2012, 2:35 pm

Thread locked for offensive comments and homophobia.


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