Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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XFilesGeek
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25 Jun 2018, 8:46 am

white_as_snow wrote:

lol at all females turning a blind eye to the fact that many females have ons and bf who are cocku, tough and arrogant. stop denying the truth. women like as*holes. its because as*holes have great social skills, the are cool, have money, lots of friends, nice job, nice car, big dick, they are funny and the are good looking. so them being a as*hole does not really matter since they have so much to offer.

No, you've just decided that any man who has more success with women than you is an "a$$hole."

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LoneLoyalWolf
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25 Jun 2018, 8:50 am

XFilesGeek wrote:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Wet blanket? Isn't it white blanket sweetheart or am I being stupid here? Never heard wet blanket before :lol:

. If you have a wet blanket, you had an accident :wink:

No, pretty sure it's wet blanket.

You already responded to this sweetheart:

XFilesGeek wrote:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Wet blanket? Isn't it white blanket sweetheart or am I being stupid here? Never heard wet blanket before :lol:

. If you have a wet blanket, you had an accident :wink:

Wet blanket = boring.

Don't be that guy. Show a spark.

My response was:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Yeah, you are correct Milady, just looked it up. Never heard that before :lol:

. Learn something every day. We have a saying in my country that involves white blankets so it confused me greatly.

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Fnord
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25 Jun 2018, 8:54 am

Nobody has heard of the term "Wet Blanket" before? They gotta be kidding!

A wet blanket is what is thrown on a fire to cool it down. It also works somewhat with livestock, fighting pets, and violent inmates in psychiatric hospitals (where it's sometimes called a "posey" -- I don't know why).

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RetroGamer87
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25 Jun 2018, 9:52 am

Sahh wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

When I went through Airmen Leadership School, I made friends with a dude who was into video games and a gym rat, much like myself.

I invited him to come hang out with me because I thought he was cool. Unknown to me, he was interested in more than friendship.

Wouldn't it be a lot easier for guys if they didn't try to befriend girls before dating them? I find it works better to just go directly to dating.

I think you'd be limiting yourself further from potential connections, as that's not always an option. Do you think it would be so bad if you actually became friends with her instead of developing something romantic? I don't believe in the "Friend Zone" I think it's just as misguided as that whole "Nice Guy" cliche. Sure, you may not end up dating, but by getting to know her first, you're not hurting your chances, only helping them, as long as you go into it genuinely without expectation.

Women feel cornered by men constantly. It's exhausting to often feel sexually pressured, but also responsible for someone's emotional well being in the response to that pressure. If you can go into the interaction without assuming your immediate gain from it, and making her feel like a connection is an ultimatum, then you have the potential of a more open reception.

Perhaps befriending girls beforehand works for some guys but it has never worked for me. Every girlfriend I've ever had, I met when we started dating. I'm just going by my own past experience, so this isn't universal.

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rdos
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25 Jun 2018, 10:01 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Perhaps befriending girls beforehand works for some guys but it has never worked for me. ,

Not for me either. A friend is not a potential partner. Simple as that. It always is the other way: Crush -> relationship -> friendship.

XFilesGeek
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25 Jun 2018, 12:09 pm

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Wet blanket? Isn't it white blanket sweetheart or am I being stupid here? Never heard wet blanket before :lol:

. If you have a wet blanket, you had an accident :wink:

No, pretty sure it's wet blanket.

You already responded to this sweetheart:

XFilesGeek wrote:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Wet blanket? Isn't it white blanket sweetheart or am I being stupid here? Never heard wet blanket before :lol:

. If you have a wet blanket, you had an accident :wink:

Wet blanket = boring.

Don't be that guy. Show a spark.

My response was:

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

^Yeah, you are correct Milady, just looked it up. Never heard that before :lol:

. Learn something every day. We have a saying in my country that involves white blankets so it confused me greatly.

ADHD strikes again!

That's what I get for posting prior to having coffee.

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 1:53 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Self proclaimed nice guys are just as bad as cocky arrogant guys. Gross, selfish, entitled and irresponsible.

Nothing is ever their fault, its always the women who won’t have sex with them.

Note. Women are not vending machines you put kindness chips into and get sex or relationships out of.

One guy did this to me recently when I went into suicide mode.

Doesn’t understand why I no longer want a conversation with him. If he ever directly asks, I’ll tell him it’s because he’s a disgusting, entitled a***hole.

So how should one proclaim themselves then?

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 2:00 pm

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

Quote:

Hate solves nothing but what is one to do after many hundreds of rejections? What do you do if it appears that getting zero chances might be what happens? Where I live there are no opportunities but I observe other people who are at least appearing to be "similar" though given that this notion of similarity is based on superficial elements.

Rationally I would expect there might be several thousands of "opportunities"(This is without any positive indicators reinforcing them as opportunities) over the course of a lifetime if one were to reduce it to a numbers game.

Have been rejected over a hundred times. People like us need to look in different places, not conventional NT-places because that doesn't work. Be specific in what you are looking for. I myself am not looking anymore but if a woman shows interest in me one day, accepts me for who I am and genuinely likes me, I am open to that of course.

Most people I have known who are in long-term successful relationships met that way, friendship and then falling for each other. No dating sites or anything.

Best thing is to not look at all, surround yourself always with some women so it can happen and see if one shows interest in you. Do your own thing and just be yourself.

Quote:

Anything pseudo-spiritual like that quickly goes into creepy territory. Even as a guy if a girl had tried this kind of stunt out of nowhere I would wonder if the date's itinerary might include murder.

I was with family when this happened :lol:

Am laughing so hard right now :mrgreen:

Try thousands

I don’t have what most single women want, which is a well off guy with his life together. That’s a desire with most women nt or not

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 2:01 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

Wouldn't it be a lot easier for guys if they didn't try to befriend girls before dating them? I find it works better to just go directly to dating.

XFilesGeek wrote:

Whenever we were hanging out, he would insist that I decide where we should go, what we should eat, what games to play, ect. It was exhausting.

He was just being lazy. He didn't want to put the effort in to choose activities. I'll admit it's exhausting when have to choose activities but I do it anyway. Otherwise it's just passing the buck.

But women here say the only way is friends first.

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 2:05 pm

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

Don't be that guy. Show a spark.

Personally often experience women being very boring. So don't be that woman as well. Show some spark :wink:

Most of all.

Be sexy:

Be smart:

Be cuckoo:

I know, I'm crazy, got that spark though

That’s s laughing artic fox

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 2:22 pm

Sahh wrote:

SSJ4_PrestonGarvey wrote:

Sahh wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Wouldn't it be a lot easier for guys if they didn't try to befriend girls before dating them? I find it works better to just go directly to dating.

I think you'd be limiting yourself further from potential connections, as that's not always an option. Do you think it would be so bad if you actually became friends with her instead of developing something romantic? I don't believe in the "Friend Zone" I think it's just as misguided as that whole "Nice Guy" cliche. Sure, you may not end up dating, but by getting to know her first, you're not hurting your chances, only helping them, as long as you go into it genuinely without expectation.

Women feel cornered by men constantly. It's exhausting to often feel sexually pressured, but also responsible for someone's emotional well being in the response to that pressure. If you can go into the interaction without assuming your immediate gain from it, and making her feel like a connection is an ultimatum, then you have the potential of a more open reception.

That's a really good point, going into it genuinely without expectations.

I think what my ideal strategy would be is aiming to always have no expectations imposed on others but trying to conduct my behaviour in a manner conducive to romantic opportunities arising or at least reducing or eliminating behaviours that will drastically decrease romantic opportunities. The best way would be if I could go about daily life without any regularly occurring thoughts about wanting a relationship(Therefore zero of the toxic Nice Guy behaviours ever occurring) and noticing women showing interest.

My mindset and source of interest in this topic is one of wanting to ensure I don't go all the way to 50 years old only to wonder why relationship never ever happened and what I should have done differently. My viewpoint is that in any given year (at least before the time when I am old) there should be a non-zero number of opportunities. If there are no opportunities in the span of a full year then that is indicative of problems.

I want to be mindful of the possibility that changes may need to happen.

I respect that. You are worth it, I hope the right person notices.

On a side note, you don't have to just wait, either. Online dating is a real thing. A friend of mine has recently gotten engaged with someone she met online. If you go to a space where that is the expectation, then it may feel a little less confusing. At least you know that both parties are looking for something romantic.

Someone women are on dating sites to find friends. It’s very confusing.
As for being friends with women, it’s hard to be friends with someone you want to sleep with and fantasize about sexually. So if you hav sexual attraction to a woman it’s impossible to just be her friend, you’ll always be hoping and dreaming for a chance, so no I won’t be friends with women I’m attracted to. I don’t feel that makes me a bad person I feel be friends while wanting mor would be bad. Tried it but it doesn’t work, it’s not fair for either person. So I am only friends with women who I met while they are in a relationship or. Married. With some exceptions for women who live long way away,
For me and many men when we first meet a single woman it’s instantly going be romantic interest or not. Must like for most women first meeting will place you in friend zone or attractive zone.
This is why there’s not as many cross gender friendships as compare to single gender ones. If you have any single guy friends ask them to be honest if they’d want to be with you if you gave them a chance, most will say hell yes.
There’s lady at work who if she asked I’d go out with her in a heartbeat. How can I legitimately be her friend? That’s such a poor inbalance. So she’s just a Facebook friend and or a Acquaintance. I’ll always have a crush in her and sexual attraction, sure I could hide it but it’ll always be there. Best nit to be friends.
I have female friends who I either didn’t find attractive or who were in relationships and thus put into the friend zone in my mind. The lady at work was single. I tried asking her out. There’s no way to move her out if my romantic interest/sexual attraction part of my mind. I believe that’s how most people work. A minority will still find women in relationships attractive and try to get them anyways, but I don’t think most do.

kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2018, 2:28 pm

I can definitely be friends with a woman I've been attracted to----and I have been.

I'm not going to preclude myself from friendly relations with a person I have high regard for.

rdos
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25 Jun 2018, 2:36 pm

I think Sly is right, and many male NDs that have female friends either have a crush or hope for more. This seems to be less common for NTs, but they probably have similar problems with it anyway.

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 5:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I can definitely be friends with a woman I've been attracted to----and I have been.

I'm not going to preclude myself from friendly relations with a person I have high regard for.

Good for you but most of us can’t especially hormonal young men.

kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2018, 5:51 pm

I'm a pretty "hormonal" son of the b***h LOL

I've been embarrassed because of the bulge in my pants--even at age 57.

I'm lucky this hasn't happened too often when I've been around my lady friends.

Trust me, though----the thoughts are there!

sly279
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25 Jun 2018, 6:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

If you were constantly thinking of having sex with them then that’s a bad friend.
I can’t do that to someone nore can I handle the emotional roller coast of every time they go single or get in a fight think maybe she date me now

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