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I miss not feeling alone all the time. I haven't had a boyfriend in so many years, I don't think I know how to be intimate any more. I don't want any of the boyfriends I had long ago back, I'm just sick and tired of always being lonely.
I guess you could say I miss a nameless ghost - the specter of someone not in my past but hopefully in my future, who I hope I meet before I die.
Ah, yes!! ! I can relate to all this, PLUS...I became a very annoying perfectionist and I am not good enough for myself even anymore, how can I feel good enough to be with someone else...I feel obsessively that I have to do better and better and better etc. craziness, I know... but I can't control the perfectionism, it makes me suffer...at least I am aware of it, so maybe I will be able to weed it out of my already tired brain/life. Or maybe I am traumatized by some bad relation (notice I didn't say relationship) I had with somebody. I was put in hypnosis and I started crying (while in transe), saying that I don't think I am doing good enough with my life and for my daughter, that I should do more...I thought that I was going to "remember" that I was raped as a child, but NO! my subconscious is obsessed with becoming perfect.
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I miss my son when his mother has him,
aspergian_mutant, I cried so many times (for years now), thinking how much my ex must suffer that he doesn't get to spend enough time with our daughter........my heart goes out to you... and to the child...and to the mom...
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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.
Dalai Lama
PS For whoever wants to hurt me (in my professional life, for example) using what I posted in confidence here, watch out, I have a good lawyer.