Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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MissKong
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29 Dec 2015, 11:44 am

AR1500 wrote:
MissKong wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Idealist wrote:
ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername wrote:
I'm so glad you had the /sarcasm at the end, I almost went on a tirade there...
Indeed.

That first paragraph alone already had me up in arms.
Yeah, I was trying to explain through counter example that most men won't commit acts of violence against women, if not out of morality than at least out of self-preservation.

I was trying to explain that it's not in a man's own self-interest to commit violence against women. Male culture doesn't encourage violence towards women, it makes it very much taboo. If a man is foolish enough to hurt a woman, there are other men who will be more than willing to punish him.

Men will arrest him, men will try him. He could be tried by a male judge, male attorneys and a male jury while being restrained by a mal bailiff and the result would be the same. He would end up guarded by male jailors.

So how can male culture be encouraging of violence towards women?

And how many men would commit such acts when it would lead to their own self-destruction?


Because rather a lot of male-on-female violence, particularly domestic violence and sexual assault, tends not to get reported - let alone prosecuted. It's violence men get away with.




In many parts of this world, this is very true. But what makes you so certain that this is the case in the US? That a lot of domestic violence against women by men is unreported?


Statistics. Loads of them. For the US. Vast majority of domestic violence is by men against women. Mostly unreported, even with mandatory charging laws. There is female on male domestic violence, which is also mostly unreported, but it makes up a minuscule portion of DV.

Check out this series from SC that won the Pulitzer a year or so back:
Www.postandcourier.com/tildeath



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29 Dec 2015, 11:48 am

MissKong wrote:
Statistics. Loads of them. For the US. Vast majority of domestic violence is by men against women. Mostly unreported, even with mandatory charging laws. There is female on male domestic violence, which is also mostly unreported, but it makes up a minuscule portion of DV.

Check out this series from SC that won the Pulitzer a year or so back:
http://Www.postandcourier.com/tildeath


Strange, I got a 404 error when clicking on the Link, can you reaffirm that the Link is working properly MissKong?


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Peacesells
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29 Dec 2015, 12:20 pm

MissKong wrote:
There is female on male domestic violence, which is also mostly unreported, but it makes up a minuscule portion of DV.

Lol, take into account that in most cases it isn't even considered domestic violence and people just laught at it. There was recently a TV ad in my country about a wife throwing stuff at her husband during an argument and even when he was begging her to stop she kept on. And it is supposed to be funny.



Last edited by Peacesells on 29 Dec 2015, 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MissKong
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29 Dec 2015, 2:20 pm

Idealist wrote:
MissKong wrote:
Statistics. Loads of them. For the US. Vast majority of domestic violence is by men against women. Mostly unreported, even with mandatory charging laws. There is female on male domestic violence, which is also mostly unreported, but it makes up a minuscule portion of DV.

Check out this series from SC that won the Pulitzer a year or so back:
http://Www.postandcourier.com/tildeath


Strange, I got a 404 error when clicking on the Link, can you reaffirm that the Link is working properly MissKong?


Here's the link
http://www.postandcourier.com/tilldeath/partone.html



alex
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29 Dec 2015, 2:30 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
well the number of girls out there who are aged 25 and older who have never had a girlfriend, never had a relationship, seems much smaller than the other way around, but like I said before, women probably whine less and complain about it less.

Where are the stats to back this claim up?


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AR1500
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29 Dec 2015, 3:03 pm

MissKong wrote:
Idealist wrote:
MissKong wrote:
Statistics. Loads of them. For the US. Vast majority of domestic violence is by men against women. Mostly unreported, even with mandatory charging laws. There is female on male domestic violence, which is also mostly unreported, but it makes up a minuscule portion of DV.

Check out this series from SC that won the Pulitzer a year or so back:
http://Www.postandcourier.com/tildeath


Strange, I got a 404 error when clicking on the Link, can you reaffirm that the Link is working properly MissKong?


Here's the link
http://www.postandcourier.com/tilldeath/partone.html




Ok. That's in SOUTH CAROLINA, a red state. Red states tend to be far more reluctant to enforce domestic abuse laws than blue states. But I'm from Washington(state), where domestic violence laws are vigorously enforced and the police tend to take the womans word by default. In the state of Oregon where I current reside, there is a special restraining order law that allows for a RO to be made permanent. All a person has to do(and I know people who have had this done to them)is fill out a petition form to a judge who can grant or deny a RO/SPO.

But it mentioned 300 women killed by their partners/exes over 12 years. How many MEN died violently in the same region over those 12 years?!? Statistics show that 76% of Americans who die by homicide each year are men, not women. I do not deny that DV happens but really, how can you keep track of unreported abuse if there isn't direct evidence that it took place? How can you know that underreported abuse is happening at all?



MissKong
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29 Dec 2015, 3:35 pm

alex wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well the number of girls out there who are aged 25 and older who have never had a girlfriend, never had a relationship, seems much smaller than the other way around, but like I said before, women probably whine less and complain about it less.

Where are the stats to back this claim up?


None, so far as I can tell. According to US census data, there are roughly equal numbers of over-25, over-30 and over-40 male and female virgins. Over-25 virgins of both sexes are rarer than hen's teeth!



kraftiekortie
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29 Dec 2015, 4:17 pm

Women don't report domestic violence for many reasons---many of which involves economics and childcare.

Unfortunately, they just need the man in these instances because they are the sole provider, and because they are the father of the children.

Outmoded modes of thought are still rampant in certain areas.

Sure, men get screwed as well. Sometimes, women use the restraining order and domestic violence laws to manipulate men.

But it is a fact that there are many more women victims of domestic violence than men.



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29 Dec 2015, 5:28 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
This whole thread was started because I was mad at a girl who was rude to me when I asked her out. Instead of turning utterly nasty I created this thread. I wasn't mad at her rejecting me, I was mad at her for implying that I didn't have the right to ask.


You may find it helpful to bear in mind that, as Jacques Lacan said, love is when you give away something you don’t have to someone who doesn’t exist.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

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AR1500
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29 Dec 2015, 8:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Women don't report domestic violence for many reasons---many of which involves economics and childcare.

Unfortunately, they just need the man in these instances because they are the sole provider, and because they are the father of the children.

Outmoded modes of thought are still rampant in certain areas.

Sure, men get screwed as well. Sometimes, women use the restraining order and domestic violence laws to manipulate men.

But it is a fact that there are many more women victims of domestic violence than men.



What about women who perpetrate domestic violence against men? That certainly *is* underreported and when the man physically fights back, he is often the one who goes to jail for it. Particularly in blue states where the police often assume that when they are called out to a domestic disturbance between and man and woman that the man is the one at fault. And then there's the legacy of chivalry which is that a man should never hit a woman. Even if she strikes first.

The restraining order laws are grossly abused in blue states as a divorce tactic by women(since she need not provide evidence) as way to get access to the mans property as well as in custody disputes. And what's worse is that there has been a recent spate of deadbeat tenants abusing these laws to prevent their landlords from evicting them. But how can you be certain that domestic violence that is neither reported nor discovered is actually occurring? How can statistics collect data on that???



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29 Dec 2015, 8:40 pm

I think it's related to old societal vestiges where men must do all the work when it comes to asking women on dates. The whole idea is dumb because women can work and make the money to help pay for dates too now. No offense guys, but we women are a lot better at telling if you're interested us than you are at catching on to our interest, so I think is makes good sense for women to ask guys out. I hit on guys/ask them out all the time, and they've never seen it as a problem. There are a lot of women out there who are too afraid to do anything if they like a guy, and some guys have too much pride to accept when women ask them out. Again, it is incredibly stupid, but a part of society that is slowly changing.



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30 Dec 2015, 10:18 am

MissKong wrote:
alex wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well the number of girls out there who are aged 25 and older who have never had a girlfriend, never had a relationship, seems much smaller than the other way around, but like I said before, women probably whine less and complain about it less.

Where are the stats to back this claim up?


None, so far as I can tell. According to US census data, there are roughly equal numbers of over-25, over-30 and over-40 male and female virgins. Over-25 virgins of both sexes are rarer than hen's teeth!



Is this a joke? If not the US census is waayy more personal than the UK one... 8O



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30 Dec 2015, 1:12 pm

hurtloam wrote:
MissKong wrote:
alex wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well the number of girls out there who are aged 25 and older who have never had a girlfriend, never had a relationship, seems much smaller than the other way around, but like I said before, women probably whine less and complain about it less.

Where are the stats to back this claim up?


None, so far as I can tell. According to US census data, there are roughly equal numbers of over-25, over-30 and over-40 male and female virgins. Over-25 virgins of both sexes are rarer than hen's teeth!



Is this a joke? If not the US census is waayy more personal than the UK one... 8O

I was never asked this when I did the census, just asked relationship status, income, etc.

Also even if it was true, being a virgin doesn't mean one never dated. One could have had multiple bfs and never had sex. Mean people waiting til marriage don't just only have one relationship they can have many just never sex.



kraftiekortie
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30 Dec 2015, 4:03 pm

If only Alfred Kinsey were alive today......



MissKong
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30 Dec 2015, 4:26 pm

my mistake - the CDC collects virginity stats, not the census.



WantToHaveALife
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30 Dec 2015, 5:53 pm

alex wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well the number of girls out there who are aged 25 and older who have never had a girlfriend, never had a relationship, seems much smaller than the other way around, but like I said before, women probably whine less and complain about it less.

Where are the stats to back this claim up?


it's just what I have observed on the Internet, on forums everywhere