Serious issues with L&D Forum

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09 May 2016, 5:16 pm

L & D is not a bad forum. Most people don't get offended over every little thing or nuance.

I think it could be a useful forum---provided that we don't allow people with extremist agendas to hold sway.

We shouldn't allow the "pick up artists" to influence anybody--nor should we allow views like "any man is a potential rapist" to sway us.

I don't really believe in the "Patriarchy" as it applies to myself---but there is an historical precedent for its existence within a Western context, at least when it's defined broadly.

Men are men. Women are women. People of various genders are people of various genders. People are people.

We can't agree on EVERYTHING. Just because somebody doesn't hold your view--doesn't mean that person should be scorned outright. Perhaps, the person with the opposing view might have a point.

For the most part, in actuality, people with extremist agendas don't hold sway.

Sometimes, when people are kidding around, it gets interpreted the wrong way. That's partially because of our status on the Spectrum.

I always believe in a healthy debate where people are respectful to each other, and don't insult each others personally. It's healthy to debate; it's healthy even to disagree.

If we agreed on everything, it would mean Big Brother is above us.

YippySkippy
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09 May 2016, 5:17 pm

Quote:

Announcing that a list of "opposing" members is circulating is just a way to exclude and form cliques.

It's all just trolling. There's no intent except to provoke people.

wilburforce
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09 May 2016, 5:22 pm

YippySkippy wrote:

Quote:

Announcing that a list of "opposing" members is circulating is just a way to exclude and form cliques.

It's all just trolling. There's no intent except to provoke people.

Ignoring the trolling works pretty effectively, though. If no one responds, it's not any fun anymore for them. Comments that break forum rules should be reported and not ignored in that sense, obviously but you don't have to respond to them in the thread to do that. Trolls are like misbehaving children looking for negative attention--if they don't get the attention they will move on to something else when they get bored.

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Nights_Like_These
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09 May 2016, 10:40 pm

YippySkippy wrote:

Quote:

I believe Sly got flack from at least a couple people about things he said in the haven.

I think it would be helpful if the "Active Discussions" list included the name of the forum for each thread. I've noticed quite a few people (myself included) get drawn in by interesting titles and follow the link, then end up replying without even noticing what forum the discussion is in. Since the rules and tone can vary considerably from forum to forum, it can cause problems.

This is definitely a good idea.

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Kiprobalhato
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10 May 2016, 12:23 am

^ it is.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2016, 4:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

It actually sounds like Boofle and FOB really dig each other

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 May 2016, 4:28 am

Quote:

There's no pua culture here, nor men.are.rapists; only very few have such views.

Quote:

I don't really believe in the Patriarchy as it applies to myself---but there is an historical precedent for its existence within a Western context, at least when it's defined broadly.

Men are men. Women are women. People of various genders are people of various genders. People are people.

Oh boy, this will cause another war...I am sure they're plotting for an attack at you.

I can hear them....

kraftiekortie
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10 May 2016, 5:38 am

I would absolutely agree. I haven't seen the PUA ideology, nor the "all men are potential rapists" ideology in quite a while.

RetroGamer87
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10 May 2016, 6:42 am

I think the ignore list is a bad idea. I won't ignore anyone I disagree with because that would mean I couldn't get into an argument with them and I love having arguments, especially with people I disagree with.

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CockneyRebel
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10 May 2016, 12:24 pm

We've all been skunked.

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12 May 2016, 3:41 pm

alex wrote:

So I've noticed that the L&D forum has devolved and become almost worse than the P&R forum in terms of members fighting with one another.

I'm making this thread because I want suggestions as to how to create a more mellow atmosphere.

I think the majority of the problem stems from members on more extreme ends of the spectrum of beliefs who end up sparring. This includes men who seem to be super bitter about women and also women who seem to be super bitter about men. Both sides are to blame.

I do think the majority of members are actually not causing issues. It's just a small but vocal minority on each side. And the people that post moderate posts also get attacked by people on both sides.

Ideas?

Coming from someone who has made many bitter posts myself, I say just delete them or lock the thread/let it die.

Hell I wish I could delete 90% of what I say here.

Kiprobalhato
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13 May 2016, 12:12 am

Boo has taken an involuntary break from the site.

RetroGamer87 wrote:

that's why it would be optional, should it ever be implemented.

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hurtloam
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13 May 2016, 1:47 am

Is it me or do we now have a good advice sock puppet?

It's ok as long as it's not someone who is going to suddenly snap and go for the jugular.

I see you Katy

Outrider
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13 May 2016, 2:00 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:

Boo has taken an involuntary break from the site.

Huh? Was he suspended? Banned?

I know it's against the rules to discuss banned members, but I don't mean to and just want to clarify on what you mean.

Drawyer
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13 May 2016, 4:30 am

Damn..we need to block spams first of all.
And I wish Boo is okay and happier.

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RetroGamer87
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13 May 2016, 8:11 pm

So have we solved the problems with L&D yet?

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