No friends, but constantly having guys "wanting" me

Post Reply New Topic

For me it's still weird, especially for someone that is not "girlie-like" and naturally wants to hang out with males and sometimes even feel like more as a male than as a female. it's weird.

sure

Thank you LC! Reading what you write is almost like I am writing it myself. I am pretty sure you are the same cognitive type as me. I thought of several things I do that inevitably gets me in trouble with women.

1. Have you heard the song "Human Behavior" by Bjork? (she is the same type as me). I get wrapped up in the exchange of "Human Behavior". I love being appreciated and I can be way too "effusive" back. This sometimes is confusing to the person on the other side of the relationship. I would love just to be open and myself... no between the lines with me. That desire gets me in trouble.

2. I don't look in eyes unless I find someone interesting. This is evidently seductive. I call this "animaling". Basically people of our type are "more animal than human".

Most aspies don't have the hardware (certain mirror neurons) for learning culture (forming the TOM). Most ADDers have that hardware (can build the TOM) but don't have the hardware to run culture (TOM) properly (too little pre-frontal white matter). We don't have either... and that balances out in some strange way. We look very normal so people think what we are doing maps into some kind of non-verbal communication. The way we look into eyes turns people on and can confuse them.

I was "animaled" about a year ago by a woman your age who is ECUS. It is a real kick in the pants when it happens to me. I think it must be crazy for culturals (NTs).

Another thing I have noticed about our type is that we tend to have very symmetrical faces (we are good looking to most people).

All the women I know that are my type and are somewhat somatic have men following them, falling for them... etc...

They all animal men like crazy too, lol. I think it is part of being a drone

Actually ECU is kind of a super drone.

Warum spricht fast alle hier Deutch? Schade das ich mein Deutsch verlernt habe

Haha... yeah you are ECU for sure. I don't have even the slightest connection to being male. My internal sense of gender is pretty much not there. I also don't have a sense of my age... honestly, I think I am upside down from most of the world. Where I am complex, most people are simple. Where I am simple, most people are complex. Gender is a seriously complex thing. Because of this... I often feel more female than male. One woman I was "dating" said I was "Venus as a boy". Totally got me into Bjork

It really helped when my oldest came out as trans boy. I immediately used the right pronouns and his new name. It threw his mom (my ex) for a loop and she still "outs" him with the wrong pronouns.

I even bought him his first penis (STP). How many dads can say that about their sons?

I am still making it through this fascinating thread.... so forgive me if I am posting responses to old comments.... or don't (I really don't give a hoot).

“Where I am complex, most people are simple. Where I am simple, most people are complex.”

I don't get it?
Are you saying there is only one sausage to share around?

I don't use mine,
But I still have it.
That has got to be at least 2, right?

That how I imagined LC dealing with any guy who’s attempting to be “friends” with her.

It was a warning code for funeralempire.

If you had my charm you could be her friend too.

Nah.

I wanna keep my sausage intact.

Is pretending women are terrifying a good way to protect one's ego after retreating? I'm asking for a friend.

We are talking LC , not women.

Besides you want a “friend” with quotations.

Enjoying attention might be a bit of a burden/curse for us. It just feels like, as if I have to force myself to take a step back in being sociable, even if I learned to open up and being nice in order to make connections. I don’t understand humans sometimes.

How can you handle it to not look people in the eyes? Sometimes I’m way too curious to not do this. By looking someone in the eyes I can see their thoughts, feelings, their truth and their soul. The eyes is a great tool. It makes people vulnerable to me.

But I think there are different ways to look someone in the eyes. Sometimes Many (apparently) NT’s make the impression, of not understanding how a human works or having less understanding about humans instinct than I do. They interpret meaningless behavior as something meaningful. It’s ridiculous.
But that's just concerning the majority of the human being I’ve been dealing with. Despite that, I've met some very interesting people on my path of life.

And concerning eye-contact: Many people mention my eyes. And I do observe people to the extreme. I didn’t even know I was doing it "too much" when I was a kid. But I’m glad it got better, cause they notice it if someone stares at them.

Well, what you describe was always a bit of a dilemma for me. There was a time, I was questioning myself of having ASD or not. Meanwhile I’m sure I’m having it. The psychiatrist that made my diagnose 11 years ago said, I’d be unusual developed for someone with AS. So I assume these days, that my ability to learn, understand AND handle human behavior is superior. Perhaps yours as well?