My gf seems to be bothered that I am 'white and privileged'.
I made my opinion about this relationship clear: All I see in store for the OP is misery.
I thought the topic was "love and dating" not "Trump-cult talking points."
_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."
Well actually she has been a lot more affectionate towards me lately, so maybe this is a good thing and passing the tests is good and now I don't need to worry, since I passed? Or will this continue to bother her most likely, even though she has been much more affectionate lately?
That said, once you get good at spotting and passing tests, it'll become second nature for you, like masking---the autism kind, not the Biden kind---and it'll feel easy. That is, something you do automatically, like knowing when to speak up and when to shut up. So your girlfriend's tests will more like a tolerable nuisance than an ominous threat.
AngelRho
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I made my opinion about this relationship clear: All I see in store for the OP is misery.
I thought the topic was "love and dating" not "Trump-cult talking points."
I have failed. I was trying to make it about Ayn Rand talking points.
Objectivist love and relationships are great topics, btw. You’d be amazed how many relationships fail because of self-haters. Only through rational self-interest is it possible to understand the true value of another human being. If you consider yourself worth nothing as the self-haters do, you have nothing to offer someone who is worth everything to you. The best relationships are not founded on sacrifice and compromise, but meaningful exchange.
The OP’s relationship, whilst somewhat skewed, survives because his gf gains status and upward mobility from dating someone she perceives as privileged, not to mention she allows herself the advantage of being open minded to possibilities outside her culture and improved genetic adaptability of her offspring. The OP gets…well, I’m not sure what he gets, exactly, but obviously he enjoys her company. So while I think she’s wrongheaded about her views on race and privilege, certain key elements of her relational decisions are objectively on point. Ayn Rand would generally approve.
Oh okay thanks. I enjoy her company as well as other activities that are fun to do with her.
Well another thing is, she believes the white race to be oppressors in a general sense, but aren't white people oppressed too? Maybe not by other races specifically but still oppressed?
For example, I'm of Scottish, German and Ukrainian descent in my heritage. The Scottish people were oppressed from the English for a good period of time in history, and the Ukrainians have had a long history of being oppressed by the Soviet Union and Russians.
So are those cases of my ancestors being oppressed as well (accept maybe Germany unless I dig back far enough maybe), or are my ancestors oppression not nearly as equals as her and it's not a fair argument?
Your girlfriend should probably read more about history.....
It would be a farce if somebody would tell a white homeless person in the street to "check your privilege."
I understand what the "white privilege" theorists are trying to say. There still is "institutional racism" which continues to keep minorities "down"----because of history, and because of (much) continued racism.
But it's one of many "oppressions"---both historical and presently occurring.
Instead of focusing solely upon this type of oppression, we should be focusing on ALL oppression. We should not assume ANYBODY is an oppressor based upon the person's familial background. We have to move forward from this.
Why do you need to correct her. Let her find out for herself. Maybe keep politics out of the relationship.
Oh well I try to keep it out but she is the one who brings it up from time to time.
Also, I don't understand why some people choose to believe in theories if the theories have wholes in them such as in this case. But it's not just that. I have a friend who believes that 9/11 was an American inside job, even though his theories have wholes in them, and I also have two friends who believe the moonlanding was faked, even though there are holes in their theory.
I just don't understand how a person, can believe so strongly in a theory that doesn't hold together. Is there a reason why people do that?
This is a conversation you should be having with your g/f. Not random people on the internet. If it's bugging you then get her to open up about her beliefs and see for yourself what motivates her (rather than continuing to speculate)
I can do that. I haven't been able to see her as much because of our job schedules, but I can, yes, good point. Thanks.
Well there is one thing that makes me think. When choosing a gf, especially for a serious long term relationship, should I be basing my decisions off of passion or logic?
For example, my current gf do not have the most things in common and there are differences. She has some different politics than me and she is a difference age generation than me, so there are those differences. The reason why I picked her as a gf is because there was a lot of passion and we have a lot of fun.
There was a woman early last year that I ended up stopped seeing after a few dates, but logically she would have been perfect me in terms of pure logic in the sense, that we had everything in common. We had so much in common to the point where I thought it was too predictable, and thus felt kind of boring to an extent. So I ended up breaking it off as a result.
But now I wonder now what is more important in how you choose a long term potential partner? Should I choose based on passion or logic, if that makes sense?
It sounds like this girl is giving you a lot of happiness when you two meet. But it sounds like you haven't had experience actually living with her. Living with somebody is much different. and you will have to accommodate the age/political differences which is going to be challenging when you are around each other 24-7.
If the sex is good and you both mutually enjoy each others company then why not just keep it casual for the moment?
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
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Posts: 33,084
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Also, I don't understand why some people choose to believe in theories if the theories have wholes in them such as in this case. But it's not just that. I have a friend who believes that 9/11 was an American inside job, even though his theories have wholes in them, and I also have two friends who believe the moonlanding was faked, even though there are holes in their theory.
I just don't understand how a person, can believe so strongly in a theory that doesn't hold together. Is there a reason why people do that?
Some people are simply… not so smart.
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