Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

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And you have no other appealing qualities whatsoever?

We have a word for that: Autistic.

First, I do want to emphasize that I am only speaking about how Autism affects men and women specifically in relation to dating, not life in general.

I honestly think one of the reasons autistic women don't struggle as much is because the social norm is for men to the initiators. A woman can be shy and quiet, and men will still take the initiative to approach her. The same is not true for shy and socially awkward men.

I do bathe daily, keep my hair neat, brush my teeth, make sure I'm wearing clean clothes, etc... And I still have no success despite all that. Additionally, I see men who look and dress similarly to myself with girlfriends all the time. And it isn't that my behavior scares women away either. I know this because I never experienced any difficulty making female friends.

Admittedly, my financial struggles have been a huge obstacle in the past ten years. I have tried over and over to improve in that area, but I'm just never able to due to circumstances which are outside of my control. Despite having a college degree, I can never get a job which pays enough to have anything left to save once I've paid my bills. I got a CNA license in an attempt to improve my situation, only to discover after spending $400 on it that CNA jobs pay just as poorly. And it is not possible to get promoted upward in the nursing field. The only way to progress is by going back to school, which I cannot afford. I tried going back to college. I was ineligible for any financial aid other than some student loan money which wasn't even close to enough to even pay half of my tuition, so I was forced to drop out. I tried moving to another part of the country hoping to find better opportunities, but that only resulted in me ending up homeless all over again.

It's already too late anyway. Even if I somehow cracked the code now and got myself out of this rut, there are no single women left. Every woman I've met in the past few years was married or in a relationship.

I agree that mainstream dating rituals suck, even worse for autistic men than for autistic women. (IMO they suck for women too. Luckily I've been able to find partners via alternative means. And I believe that the autistic community itself, once it reaches sufficient size and manages to become the center of a larger autistic-friendly subculture, will be able to create better alternatives.)


You're 36. That's not too late.

Do you live in or near a major metropolitan area? (Major metropolitan areas tend to have an excess of single women.)

Do you have any interests or hobbies that are not overwhelmingly male dominated and hence could be leveraged as a way to get to know women?

Good, you have learned.

My age is not of any relevance.

In my area, I have not met any single women close to my age in at least two years. I've met plenty of women. I meet women all the time. Exposure to women is not the problem. The problem is that all the women I ever meet are always taken. And even on the rare occasions I've met someone who wasn't, it was always someone dumb and uninteresting whom I had nothing in common with.

If it's "scientifically proven" that women refuse autistic men, then why are many autistic men here on this forum able to get married and have relationships?

Even so, I think you'd have to agree that Aspies face unique challenges pertinent to getting into relationships. Aspie men in particular, but the women too. I say Aspie men in particular because all you need to do is look at this forum to figure out that Aspie men tend to struggle a lot with getting into relationships, and tend to hit romantic and sexual milestones later than NTs, or never.

Individuals on the spectrum are more likely to experience involuntary celibacy or complete romantic isolation. Whether or not we're talking about the forum incels with toxic beliefs, or guys who are simply socially awkward and unable to even get a coffee date, men on the spectrum are over-represented in these groups. Being that Autism causes deficits in people's social skills, it's no surprise that so many of us feel left out in the cold.

At least with women on the spectrum, they tend to get an empathy boost when compared to men due to higher levels of estrogen, and being able to empathize with people more and read their facial expressions better helps navigate social situations. I think estrogen may also be the reason why women are harder to diagnose, or can "pass" better.

Nice try putting words in my mouth. I never said women refuse all autistic men, but that its a known fact that women generally do not favor men who are shy or socially awkward. While these are common traits of autistics, there is no set rule that they always present in an obvious way or cannot be overcome in some cases.

First off, the number of autistic men on this forum who have wives or girlfriends is very small compared to the ones who don't. And there are many diverse reasons why some autistic men can be married or in relationships: I do not deny that there are some women out there who would date men like us; but they are not common and one has to be extremely lucky in order to meet one at a time in her life when she is not already involved with someone else. Culture is also a big factor, and some of these men may live in cultures where dating or courtsip standards are entirely different from where I live. There is also the posibility that some of them are in emotionally abusive relatiosnships with women who delibrately seek out men can easily manipulate, which is something that I experienced several years ago. Or perhaps these men's wives/girlfriends settled for them due to a lack of better options. You also need to take into consideration that other factors can elevate a man's "sexual marketplace value", even if he is shy or socially awkward; such as being tall, atheletic, or financially successful.

Mercury in vaccines created my Autism. If only I never received mercury vaccines I would live a normal happy life and have more opportunities in life. Having Autism and being a social pariah sucks.

It is false that mercury in vaccines causes autism.

Mass doses of antibiotics as a newborn & many more throughout my life helped cause mine - and I believe, based on medical statistics, now a wild ass guess, that gut dysbiosis is the cause of 70% of cases of ASD.

Anyways, I hear your complaints. Like I've heard many others. It's okay to vent. However, we've heard these complaints a zillion times on these forums. Why not choose to try doing something to treat your symptoms and see if you feel better vs. just complain that ASD screws over your whole life?

Doesn’t mean they date us.
Women where I live complain about a lack of guys despite having 3,000 more men then women age 18-40.
There’s eneough men many of them could have two boyfriends. What they mean and some say is there’s not enough middle class men.
Why’s a unemployed woman or retail woman need a middle class man?

Aspies would not mind they were one of many guys a woman was seeing at the time.
It is the bad Aspies that make it impossible for most Aspies to find women to give them a chance.
Aspies get stereotyped by mainstream herd mentality that all are bad theory and most Aspie males are ignored/rejected. That is how life works unfortunately.

I feel like you created this account just to troll but waited ten years to actually do so. That's some crazy dedication if the case.

Really? How many Aspie men here would agree with this, I wonder? How many would disagree?

If what you are saying really is true of a majority of Aspie men, then, it seems to me, a LOT of problems could be solved, at least in part, via an autistic branch of the polyamory scene. It could be a very efficient way to create alternative extended families with great mutual support.

Somehow I doubt that what you are saying is true, though. I would expect most autistic men, like most other people, to prefer a mutually monogamous relationship.

But let's see what others here say.