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Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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SkinnyElephant
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23 Jul 2024, 9:14 am

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I don't think all Incel groups cause violence. I think the real problem is there's no place to uplift and put men on the correct path in life. Cyberdad made a good point. Incel groups and red pill spaces are the only places for men to go currently because of this. I think economically unreliable men plays a massive role as well.


Yeah, economics are probably a factor. Gone are the days when a man with barely any education can singlehandedly support a family (like in 1950).

A lot of men today have a hard enough time paying their own living expenses, let alone a wife and kids.



SkinnyElephant
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23 Jul 2024, 9:16 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I differentiate between involuntarily celibate and Incel (the group), but beyond that I didn't say all Incels cause violence. I clearly said that we don't know if they will cause violence until or unless they do. Statistically, they do have a high likelihood though. That's why it's not smart for people to associate themselves with such groups.


Even though I don't meet the technical definition of incel, I have a lot of overlap with incels.

A lot of incels don't want to hurt a woman; we just want to get a woman with the same ease as my coworker's career felon son.



SkinnyElephant
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23 Jul 2024, 9:19 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
People can support each other no matter their gender. Marriage doesn’t have to involve a husband and wife. I don’t think people need to learn how to be men and women. They need to learn how to be good human beings. They can learn that with any parent or guardian.

A lot of men may be physically stronger than me, but other than that, my strengths and weaknesses don’t appear to be gender dependent.


Disagree; the gender of which parent you're raised by makes a difference.

Even though both my parents are married, my dad was away for such long hours when I was a kid, I had hardly any contact with him during the week (he'd leave for work right around the time I left for school; then he wouldn't get home until 5 and half hours after school let out for me).

Had I had more influence from my dad growing up, I likely wouldn't struggle as much as I do with man stuff.



SkinnyElephant
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23 Jul 2024, 9:21 am

funeralxempire wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
What's the normie stuff?


Funeralxempire likes marijuana, likes to drink to excess, etc.

That was what I had in mind. Those interests are more common among normies. Most ASD folk prefer a quieter lifestyle.


I think you're assuming most people with ASD are stimulus avoidant, I'm not sure that's actually a good read of the ASD population, in particular when it comes to the ASD+ADHD dual diagnosed population.

I'd also note that you seem quite unfamiliar with the effects of pot if you're assuming smoking pot = party animal stuff. Usually pot tends to mellow people out which seems kinda the opposite of what party animals are after.

SkinnyElephant wrote:
I mainly mean party animal stuff when I say normie stuff.


SkinnyElephant wrote:
Most ASD folk have no interest in being party animals.


Me included.

That I might be a "party animal" relative to you is not the same as being a party animal by the standards of the general populace. Despite rumours to the contrary, I'm not Chad Thundercock; I just lack the impulse control to be entirely socially avoidant, which means due to experience with putting myself out there socially I'm less intimidated by it (and the potential social rejection that often follows) than you are. Rather than flinching from potential social rejection I've learned to learn from it when it occurs.

As for use of substances, pharmacology has always been a special interest, as well a means of self-medicating.


I've been invited to all sorts of stuff, most of which I decline.

In a way, I'm the rejecter.



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23 Jul 2024, 9:21 am

The 1950s were a great time for women./s

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SkinnyElephant
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23 Jul 2024, 9:24 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I can't find the logic this conversation (or the OP, but that's another matter ...)

They're complaining that women are successful and independent even though they admit they themselves are anxious or even boring homebodies, and that they want partners who are opposite or complementary to them.

Non sequitur. ^

They're also saying women are flocking toward dangerous felons so they can be kept and provide "easy" intercourse, but women work in airconditioned offices because they're not risk-takers.

These men are envious of situations where women are in relationships against their will, but they themselves are too scared to ask women on dates because it might hurt their own feelings.

The common denominator seems to be that they have low regard for women whether they're successful or not, but at the same time they desperately seek these people to be part of their lives.

If someone could clarify I'd be most grateful.


Clarification.

The mere thought of asking a woman out makes my heart race a mile a minute, makes me so choked up I can barely speak, and makes me so shaky I could fall over at any second.

That goes way beyond "hurt feelings." What I described is basically a disability. Physically, it's next to impossible for me to ask a woman out even if I wanted to.



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23 Jul 2024, 9:25 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
People can support each other no matter their gender. Marriage doesn’t have to involve a husband and wife. I don’t think people need to learn how to be men and women. They need to learn how to be good human beings. They can learn that with any parent or guardian.

A lot of men may be physically stronger than me, but other than that, my strengths and weaknesses don’t appear to be gender dependent.


Disagree; the gender of which parent you're raised by makes a difference.

Individual experience will vary, but many women are doing a perfectly good job raising males without having a man in their life. I certainly am. The important stuff when it comes to raising children of any gender is love, empathy, patience, and time.



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23 Jul 2024, 11:50 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Women on this forum have experienced extreme abuse from men. 1 in 6 women is a victim of rape or attempted rape. I’m a survivor of rape and domestic violence.

Most women experience sexual harassment at some point in their lives.

Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence

It’s a serious issue that deserves at least as much attention as it’s currently receiving.


If I were to get catcalled, have dirty comments made to me, or even get my backside touched, I'd be honored (even if I'm not attracted to the woman; hell, even if the attention came from a man, I'd be honored)



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23 Jul 2024, 11:51 am

Graves Knight wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Graves Knight wrote:
men socially speaking have to come to women to shoot their shot.


What does this mean?

If you're referring to sex, can't they shoot their shot alone or with other men?
If you're referring to reproduction, don't women have to "come to men" too?

Women don't always pick their men.
Sometimes men become obsessed with women / girls and won't leave them the F alone.

SA included.


Have you ever asked men on a date?

And yes I agree some men don't get the hint when a woman doesn't like them.


Unfortunately, the reverse happens too (A woman is into a man, but he doesn't get the hint. He thinks she's "only being nice")

I guarantee I've missed opportunities because of this.



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23 Jul 2024, 11:59 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Yeah, I can relate. My parents still don’t know what I experienced apart from some child abuse. Part of that is because I was worried they’d blame me. It’s complicated and related to religion.

It’s really hard carrying this stuff alone and not having support.


I can somewhat relate.

I've faced abuse of a different nature. My parents know some of it. I've learned to stop sharing with my parents because they don't take my side (my mom even somewhat blamed me).

Long story short, taking my side would require my parents to rethink their political narrative. Holding onto their narrative is more important than their kid's safety apparently.



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23 Jul 2024, 12:19 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
People can support each other no matter their gender. Marriage doesn’t have to involve a husband and wife. I don’t think people need to learn how to be men and women. They need to learn how to be good human beings. They can learn that with any parent or guardian.

A lot of men may be physically stronger than me, but other than that, my strengths and weaknesses don’t appear to be gender dependent.


Disagree; the gender of which parent you're raised by makes a difference.

Individual experience will vary, but many women are doing a perfectly good job raising males without having a man in their life. I certainly am. The important stuff when it comes to raising children of any gender is love, empathy, patience, and time.

They really aren't though. Men are really not doing very well these days and a large part of it is all the boys being raised without any male role models. Women just do not have a good track record for raising mentally healthy boys and women that are managing to make it work are very much in the minority.



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23 Jul 2024, 12:23 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Women on this forum have experienced extreme abuse from men. 1 in 6 women is a victim of rape or attempted rape. I’m a survivor of rape and domestic violence.

Most women experience sexual harassment at some point in their lives.

Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence

It’s a serious issue that deserves at least as much attention as it’s currently receiving.


If I were to get catcalled, have dirty comments made to me, or even get my backside touched, I'd be honored (even if I'm not attracted to the woman; hell, even if the attention came from a man, I'd be honored)

It seems like you might have trouble understanding what it could be like for a woman which appears to be a common theme in this thread. Many women find that stuff threatening, triggering, demeaning, anxiety-inducing, etc. I’ve never found such sh***y behavior in any way flattering.



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23 Jul 2024, 12:33 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
They really aren't though. Men are really not doing very well these days and a large part of it is all the boys being raised without any male role models. Women just do not have a good track record for raising mentally healthy boys and women that are managing to make it work are very much in the minority.

If men are falling behind in specific ways, it’s unlikely to solely be related to being raised without a father. It’s a complex topic.

It’s often challenging raising children as a single parent due to a lack of support, but I don’t believe that gender plays as significant of a role as many think. It appears as though conservatives who believe in rigid gender roles tend to put a greater emphasis on male parenting than liberals do. I see gender primarily as a social construct. Males can raise females and females can raise males. Role models can be good, but they don’t have to involve a parent (or a parent of one’s own gender).



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 23 Jul 2024, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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23 Jul 2024, 12:40 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
Men are really not doing very well these days and a large part of it is all the boys being raised without any male role models. Women just do not have a good track record for raising mentally healthy boys and women that are managing to make it work are very much in the minority.



Even if this were true - and I don't think it is - the onus should be on men getting their s**t together to raise their children responsibly instead of scapegoating single mothers as the problem, or highlighting the fact it hurts men's chances of getting laid (Incel philosophy).

You say this is a problem men have created as absentee / sh***y fathers, and you point out that it affects other men's mental health, but you're blaming women for doing the best they can rather than blaming systems which allow such abuse.

What have you done to advocate for children's rights and fathers' accountability, or to support single mothers?


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TwilightPrincess
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23 Jul 2024, 12:48 pm

What about lesbian mothers of sons? It’s pretty damn insulting to suggest that they aren’t enough.



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23 Jul 2024, 12:53 pm

Yay........this again with the usual suspects.