My problem with relationships and age

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auntblabby
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22 Feb 2022, 2:08 am

HighLlama wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

the less-than-spoken question has not even been remotely answered, like how does one decode the secret signs they are interested in one?

These forms of communication will vary between NT and ND, as well as individuals. Trying to act NT in order to secure a relationship will just burn you out and disappoint everyone. Better to be true to yourself and make sure you find someone who accepts and embraces you.

what are reliable signals that people [either male or female] are interested in one?

Mona Pereth
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22 Feb 2022, 6:07 pm

dorkseid wrote:

Age gaps relationships are typically predatory. And when they're not they're transactional, ie old rich man giving a young beautiful women money and expensive gifts in exchange for sex. It might be less obvious, but 45 year old man who offers more financial security that a 25 year old with a 23 year old woman who is more fertile than a 40 year old is still just as transactional.

All relationships -- including relationships between age-peers -- are "transactional" to some extent, but hopefully are based on much more than just that.

You talk about people's ages as if age were the most important thing, perhaps even the only important thing, that two people could ever have in common.

I, on the other hand, have always felt that age was relatively unimportant compared to all the many other things that separate me from the vast majority of other people.

Frankly I think your main problem is what appears to me to be your relentlessly superficial view of romantic relationships. (Other women in these threads of yours have voiced similar impressions.)

dorkseid wrote:

Question is: why would a younger woman want me anyway? Why would anyone choose a socially awkward broke overweight loser over someone her own age?

Hopefully you'll feel like less of a "broke ... loser" once you get your first full-time job as a special ed teacher? You won't be rich, but hopefully you'll at least be better off than before?

When I was in my twenties, I always chose people with whom I had significant interests and values in common, regardless of age (as long as they were at least of legal age), over people who were close to my age but with whom I had little else in common.

By the way, as far as I can tell, you still haven't replied to this post of mine here.

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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 22 Feb 2022, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dorkseid
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22 Feb 2022, 6:59 pm

It might not seem like a big deal when she's 20 and he's 35. But when she's 35 and having to take care of a 50 year old who can't keep up is when the problems begin to show.

theprisoner
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22 Feb 2022, 7:05 pm

Any 50 year male would be lucky just to have a sign of interest from a 35 yr woman. And the converse would, also be true.

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Mona Pereth
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22 Feb 2022, 8:32 pm

dorkseid wrote:

It might not seem like a big deal when she's 20 and he's 35. But when she's 35 and having to take care of a 50 year old who can't keep up is when the problems begin to show.

A 50 year old who can't keep up with what?

Most healthy people don't need to be "taken care of" (except maybe occasionally) until they are much older than 50.

Benjamin the Donkey
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23 Feb 2022, 12:00 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

dorkseid wrote:

It might not seem like a big deal when she's 20 and he's 35. But when she's 35 and having to take care of a 50 year old who can't keep up is when the problems begin to show.

A 50 year old who can't keep up with what?

Most healthy people don't need to be "taken care of" (except maybe occasionally) until they are much older than 50.

Like many of dorkseid's posts, this shows an amazing lack of knowledge of the world. People do eventually slow down, but rarely at 50. My partner is significantly younger, but I keep up with her just fine.

I do need a bit of taking care of, but that's because I'm autistic, not because of age. I needed much more help when I was 25.

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cyberdad
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23 Feb 2022, 3:48 am

theprisoner wrote:

Any 50 year male would be lucky just to have a sign of interest from a 35 yr woman. And the converse would, also be true.

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Well that was silly Dorkseid?

auntblabby
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23 Feb 2022, 6:09 am

when one has been down so long, one can no longer see the way up. he is thoroughly discouraged to where everything seems utterly, forbiddingly steep and hard.

Rexi
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21 Mar 2022, 11:59 pm

cyberdad wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

Now wait a second.....how am I "joking about other people's experiences"?

If my wife doesn't want me to "fap" in front of her, I won't "fap" in front of her. I'm just not of the opinion that pleasing myself constitutes "cheating."

Kraftie, these "kids" are still horny 20-30 year olds who think couples will be having sex the same way at 55 as when they were 25.

I think we can agree that your wife isn't getting her dreams fulfilled but you are, and you tend to make up excuses for why you shouldn't be interested in what she wants, and just say she's jealous, minimizing the humanity she deserves to have. You fail to understand the most important thing in relationships. Some people live til death without realizing such important things with the one person they lived with for so long. If i could pity you I would but you're undeserving because you could always affect change.

To cause a person to live their life like that beside you, it's selfish and barbaric. You can judge age as much as you want and deny experience and wisdom of the younger generation but just know that your age means nothing if you don't have anything good to show for it for what truly matters in life, the ones next to you. No old man is entitled to treat their wife badly. And treat the youth like trash.

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Pepe
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22 Mar 2022, 3:22 am

dorkseid wrote:

It might not seem like a big deal when she's 20 and he's 35. But when she's 35 and having to take care of a 50 year old who can't keep up is when the problems begin to show.

This is my position also.

I am happy to be a friend with a younger woman, but it ends there for the reason you gave.
It is called "Having integrity".

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22 Mar 2022, 3:29 am

Rexi wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

Kraftie, these "kids" are still horny 20-30 year olds who think couples will be having sex the same way at 55 as when they were 25.

"You go, gurl."
Bite him on the neck and drink deep. :twisted:

HighLlama
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22 Mar 2022, 4:50 am

auntblabby wrote:

HighLlama wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

the less-than-spoken question has not even been remotely answered, like how does one decode the secret signs they are interested in one?

what are reliable signals that people [either male or female] are interested in one?

Sorry I missed this, about a month ago. They will initiate contact and ask questions about you, because they are interested in you. If they don't do that, move on.

kraftiekortie
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22 Mar 2022, 7:28 am

Most people really don't need someone to "take care of them" until they reach their 80s. If then.

I'm 61 years old, and I frequently run at least two miles a day. I feel like it would be tough for some 30's people to keep up with ME

dorkseid
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22 Mar 2022, 11:09 am

HighLlama wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

HighLlama wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

the less-than-spoken question has not even been remotely answered, like how does one decode the secret signs they are interested in one?

what are reliable signals that people [either male or female] are interested in one?

Sorry I missed this, about a month ago. They will initiate contact and ask questions about you, because they are interested in you. If they don't do that, move on.

Except women do all that with me all the time, but then they always friend zone me.

Velorum
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22 Mar 2022, 11:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

This!

Im 62 and my autistic partner is 49. There is no marked disparity in our autonomy physically or otherwise. We are in may ways a perfect match.

Judging these things on a mere numeric value is not logical.

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dorkseid
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22 Mar 2022, 1:59 pm

A new woman just started at work this week. I don't mean any offense toward her, but she is unattractive. And her daughters are 19 and 21.

She is 39 years old. The same age as me.

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