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Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

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AngelRho
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21 Jul 2022, 7:22 am

ironpony wrote:
Well as far as guys loosing their virginity goes, I use to have trouble with that but then I read books on how to attract women, and get dates and sex, and those books helped. Have other guys tried or that or has it helped anyone?

Reading my mom’s Redbook magazines and romance novels worked for me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jul 2022, 7:56 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^^ this what it means

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_SxZg1gAQJA


I thought graphic depictions of sex weren’t allowed. :lol:


Pew Pew Pew!!



ironpony
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24 Jul 2022, 7:42 pm

Are some people hypocritical when it comes to not wanting to have sex with virgins as a lot of people are hot for the idea of being treated by someone with sexual experience, but at the same time, they don't want to return the favor for anyone inexperienced.



Nades
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25 Jul 2022, 1:40 am

ironpony wrote:
Are some people hypocritical when it comes to not wanting to have sex with virgins as a lot of people are hot for the idea of being treated by someone with sexual experience, but at the same time, they don't want to return the favor for anyone inexperienced.


Depends on age, why someone is a virgin and the intention of the virgin.

If you're 20 and religious or have been concentrating of studies or career then that's fair enough.

If you're 30, want kids but still haven't seen a penis or vagina and refused when offered after dating for a few months, then that's an all together different kettle of fish. Especially if they're not religious or have any legitimate reason.

Sometimes virginity is easy to understand and has a reasonable explanation. Other times the virgin themselves are just stubborn or unkempt.

Once people get older being a virgin becomes a bit of a problem depending on the circumstances. Like the example above, I would want an explanation as to why someone who wanted kids hasn't and still refuses to see a vagina or penis at 30 when they're already at the average age where people have their first child. Being that straight laced and innocent is off-putting to partners and harmful to the virgin.

Many people don't want to deal with the baggage of older virgins as they're often set in their ways and the people having to deal with them are getting older themselves.



ironpony
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25 Jul 2022, 8:55 am

What if the reason a 30 year old us still a virgin is because he/she it's perfectly happy to lose it but just hasn't found the right person for it yet? Isn't that a good reason not to reject a virgin, if you are the right person?



kraftiekortie
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25 Jul 2022, 8:56 am

You finally got it!

After all this discussion!



Nades
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25 Jul 2022, 10:30 am

ironpony wrote:
What if the reason a 30 year old us still a virgin is because he/she it's perfectly happy to lose it but just hasn't found the right person for it yet? Isn't that a good reason not to reject a virgin, if you are the right person?


Depends on why they haven't found the right person. Their standards might be to high or they might have off-putting physical and personality traits.

If someone was interested in losing their virginity, then they would have lost it by 30 unless something was wrong with the virgin. No person can be a unintentional 30 year old virgin unless there is some sort of problem, somehwere that they need to address.

Like I said, the average age you lose your virginity is 17 and the average age for a first child is about 30. 50% of those who want kids have had them by 30 and a large proportion who haven't are already in stable relationships and will soon have one.

It's time to get your ass in gear by 30 in other words. The general public decide who loses their virginity and virgins need to conform to their desires. They don't care how nervous they are, they don't care how awesome a virgin thinks their neck beard is, they don't care if it hurts the first time. The virgin needs to self-critique, improve themelves and swallow the bullet if they're naturally anxious people.



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25 Jul 2022, 10:37 am

Virginity is just not that big of a deal. Most people don’t care that much. It’s not like it’s this huge obstacle that people have to get past although it could feel like that to the virgins themselves, I suppose.



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25 Jul 2022, 10:53 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Virginity is just not that big of a deal. Most people don’t care that much. It’s not like it’s this huge obstacle that people have to get past although it could feel like that to the virgins themselves, I suppose.


I think while most people don't care about virginity all that much, I think a lot care about how virginity has been maintained especially in older virgins.

It would bother me a lot if I found out a virgin was 30 and has rejected every single opportunity for intimacy they were ever given. If she was frisky and ready to go then a lot less so (but there aren't many female virgins who are frisky at 30 at all.)



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25 Jul 2022, 10:59 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Virginity is just not that big of a deal.  Most people do not care that much.  It is not like it is this huge obstacle that people have to get past although it could feel like that to the virgins themselves, I suppose.
In civilized cultures, women are no longer sold into marriage, with attested virgins fetching the highest "bride-prices".

However, the issue seems more about the other person's insecurity -- both men and women feeling fear that their lovers / partners / spouses may compare them unfavorably to former lovers / partners / spouses.  Then there is also the reluctance of many people (again, both sexes) to raise a child that is not their own -- the child being a constant reminder that their lover / partner / spouse once had feelings for someone else, and the consequent fear that those feelings may take over again.

Finding and marrying a virgin should allay these fears, but insecurity is not that easily managed; and jealousy often seems to play a role in the abuse and abandonment of formerly "virginal" spouses.



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25 Jul 2022, 11:26 am

Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:

Finding and marrying a virgin should allay these fears, but insecurity is not that easily managed; and jealousy often seems to play a role in the abuse and abandonment of formerly "virginal" spouses.[/color]


I would never marry a virgin. I would want to see if we were sexually compatible before potentially signing over half of my future income. I imagine most men would feel the same along with women.



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25 Jul 2022, 11:32 am

Some prefer female virgins because they think that a hymen will make coitus more enjoyable or they have archaic notions about purity (which probably stem from a desire to control paternity).

In general, bad sex has more to do with being selfish than inexperienced. Perhaps, as others have mentioned, reading a book on sexuality would be useful.

People can have lots of sexual partners and still be bad at sex. I’m not saying that people need to be Don Juan but a desire to make one’s partner feel good can go a long way.

Having a strong emotional connection is probably the most important thing IMO, so the idea of one night stands is not my cup of tea.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 25 Jul 2022, 12:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TwilightPrincess
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25 Jul 2022, 11:37 am

Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:

Finding and marrying a virgin should allay these fears, but insecurity is not that easily managed; and jealousy often seems to play a role in the abuse and abandonment of formerly "virginal" spouses.[/color]


I would never marry a virgin. I would want to see if we were sexually compatible before potentially signing over half of my future income. I imagine most men would feel the same along with women.


Yeah, I agree with you there.

Of course, I’d be fine if the individual was a virgin when we met.



ironpony
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25 Jul 2022, 11:46 am

Nades wrote:
ironpony wrote:
What if the reason a 30 year old us still a virgin is because he/she it's perfectly happy to lose it but just hasn't found the right person for it yet? Isn't that a good reason not to reject a virgin, if you are the right person?


Depends on why they haven't found the right person. Their standards might be to high or they might have off-putting physical and personality traits.

If someone was interested in losing their virginity, then they would have lost it by 30 unless something was wrong with the virgin. No person can be a unintentional 30 year old virgin unless there is some sort of problem, somehwere that they need to address.

Like I said, the average age you lose your virginity is 17 and the average age for a first child is about 30. 50% of those who want kids have had them by 30 and a large proportion who haven't are already in stable relationships and will soon have one.

It's time to get your ass in gear by 30 in other words. The general public decide who loses their virginity and virgins need to conform to their desires. They don't care how nervous they are, they don't care how awesome a virgin thinks their neck beard is, they don't care if it hurts the first time. The virgin needs to self-critique, improve themelves and swallow the bullet if they're naturally anxious people.


Are you saying it's best just to hook up with whoever, just to get it over with, then at least you can say you're not a virgin, if asked?



Nades
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25 Jul 2022, 11:48 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:

Finding and marrying a virgin should allay these fears, but insecurity is not that easily managed; and jealousy often seems to play a role in the abuse and abandonment of formerly "virginal" spouses.[/color]


I would never marry a virgin. I would want to see if we were sexually compatible before potentially signing over half of my future income. I imagine most men would feel the same along with women.


Yeah, I agree with you there.

Of course, I’d be fine if the individual was a virgin when we met.


I would be highly suspicious of any woman who was more interested in marrying me before touching me sexually, especially a virgin one.

Insisting on marriage before losing virginity is making the biggest deal one could possibly make and does the polar opposite of helping any virgin. Imagine how much regret a older virgin would have the day after getting married knowing they threw away any second and third chances and they have to meet expectations there and then.



Nades
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25 Jul 2022, 11:52 am

ironpony wrote:
Nades wrote:
ironpony wrote:
What if the reason a 30 year old us still a virgin is because he/she it's perfectly happy to lose it but just hasn't found the right person for it yet? Isn't that a good reason not to reject a virgin, if you are the right person?


Depends on why they haven't found the right person. Their standards might be to high or they might have off-putting physical and personality traits.

If someone was interested in losing their virginity, then they would have lost it by 30 unless something was wrong with the virgin. No person can be a unintentional 30 year old virgin unless there is some sort of problem, somehwere that they need to address.

Like I said, the average age you lose your virginity is 17 and the average age for a first child is about 30. 50% of those who want kids have had them by 30 and a large proportion who haven't are already in stable relationships and will soon have one.

It's time to get your ass in gear by 30 in other words. The general public decide who loses their virginity and virgins need to conform to their desires. They don't care how nervous they are, they don't care how awesome a virgin thinks their neck beard is, they don't care if it hurts the first time. The virgin needs to self-critique, improve themelves and swallow the bullet if they're naturally anxious people.


Are you saying it's best just to hook up with whoever, just to get it over with, then at least you can say you're not a virgin, if asked?


If you're young then no. If you're heading towards your 30s then yes. People moan all the time of the harm that online porn does and drunken one night stands but nobody mentions the long term harm of being a straight laced prude into your 30s who refuses to get past the cooties stage. Those people die childless and alone.

Don't be them.