21 Aug 2009, 12:15 am
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
CelticGoddess wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
rensilaer wrote:
I can only speak based on what you write. If you're advocating telling someone that a FWB interaction is improper and futile in favor of a more permenant meaningful interaction, even if both parties are on the same page, exactly what other conclusion should one draw?
I never said a relationship had to be permanent or even long-term, or that sex should be purely for procreation; just that the sex would surely be more satisfactory if the two parties were in a relationship with each other rather than disinterested.
who said it was disinterested?
Er...that would be me. Somewhere on page 2.
But I meant disinterested in a formal exclusive relationship.on a lighter note, hypothetically speaking [because i'm not trying this is what i think would happen, but for the sake of debate...] what's not to say that FWB relationships can't turn into formal relationships over time?
i was about to 1. ask if you got lucky w her yet, and 2. suggest that you do NOT ^^^ see blacked text.
its basically a breach of contract. dont mess with it. enjoy it while it lasts.
if _she_ insists all over you to make it more serious, then yes, you'd be an idiot not to consider it, but dont go all aspie on her, and try to change the scenario :I its too rare to f**k up.
when i wrote that i was thinking more along the lines of her initiating the change if anything. i wouldn't trust myself to try something like that because i'm all too aware of the aspie in me that'll screw me over faster than you can say "baked potato"
21 Aug 2009, 12:59 am
baaaaaked... potaaaaaaa..... 
but yes., thats good. know thyself.
your pretty much "on rails" here tho, youve skipped the eye contact, youve skipped the dinners and all the crap, even by NT standards your lucky as hell.
i had a neighbor, a younger single mother, who texted me once "hey wanna do it? no strings attached, just fun."
that was like 3 days before i had to move out.
it was fun, but could have been fun more than just once...
ah well, c'est la vie 
21 Aug 2009, 5:53 am
Seanmw wrote:
crinklycrustacean: you're thinking in black and white. believe it or not there is a such thing as grey, and while not widely accept by narrow minds, it has many closet fans
I could equally point out that you are seeing in black and white, just different shades.
Seanmw wrote:
who said it was disinterested?
it's "friends" with benefits. total strangers with benefits is somewhat different. lol
it's "friends" with benefits. total strangers with benefits is somewhat different. lol
It is still two persons not interested in, or happy to put up without, a relationship with each other. I thought that was obvious from what I wrote.
Quote:
Besides i'm interested. i'm just smart enough to respect her boundaries. she doesn't want a formal relationship and all the entanglement that goes with it, but she wants the sex. and i'm reaping the benefits.
Exactly, you've said it yourself. She at least is not interested in a relationship with you. Thank you for proving my point.
21 Aug 2009, 10:16 am
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
crinklycrustacean: you're thinking in black and white. believe it or not there is a such thing as grey, and while not widely accept by narrow minds, it has many closet fans
I could equally point out that you are seeing in black and white, just different shades.
Seanmw wrote:
who said it was disinterested?
it's "friends" with benefits. total strangers with benefits is somewhat different. lol
it's "friends" with benefits. total strangers with benefits is somewhat different. lol
It is still two persons not interested in, or happy to put up without, a relationship with each other. I thought that was obvious from what I wrote.
Quote:
Besides i'm interested. i'm just smart enough to respect her boundaries. she doesn't want a formal relationship and all the entanglement that goes with it, but she wants the sex. and i'm reaping the benefits.
Exactly, you've said it yourself. She at least is not interested in a relationship with you. Thank you for proving my point.
Well, somehow, I think Sean will muddle through enjoying his sinning, hedonistic non-meaningful relationship without your vaunted and ever-sought approval. :'(
21 Aug 2009, 10:25 am
rensilaer wrote:
Well, somehow, I think Sean will muddle through enjoying his sinning, hedonistic non-meaningful relationship without your vaunted and ever-sought approval. :'(
Oh Ha, Ha. Yet another sarcastic and unfounded commment. Where did I say it was sinning, hedonistic, and requiring my approval? Nowhere. I don't see where any of this comes from.rensilaer wrote:
I'm gratified to see you're only speaking for yourself.
Well observed.
Quote:
Not everyone would agree with that in every situation. I have enjoyed sex a great deal without even so much as a name or one word spoken between us. It's all respective of the individual, his values and the situation.
Obviously, as with any point of view, not everyone is going to agree.
Last edited by CrinklyCrustacean on 21 Aug 2009, 10:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
21 Aug 2009, 10:28 am
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
rensilaer wrote:
Well, somehow, I think Sean will muddle through enjoying his sinning, hedonistic non-meaningful relationship without your vaunted and ever-sought approval. :'(
Oh Ha, Ha. Yet another sarcastic and unfounded commment. Where did I say it was sinning, hedonistic, and requiring my approval? Nowhere.Then your reasoning for intimating he's somehow incorrect for entertaining the idea of a FWB interactions escapes me. You can't very well criticize him for considering it because he's trying to "have his cake and eat it too" and then talk out of the other side of your mouth and say "I'm not criticizing!! !"
Either you are, or you're not. Pick a side and stay there.
21 Aug 2009, 10:36 am
21 Aug 2009, 11:43 am
21 Aug 2009, 11:53 am
21 Aug 2009, 12:05 pm
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
rensilaer wrote:
Oh, not in the least. If you wish to hold that opinion for yourself, I absolutely support and applaud your decision to do so, if it will make you happy. However, it's a different story not only to apply your opinion to anyone else, but then also tell them they're wrong and misguided for their own opinion.
I'm not judging your opinions or beliefs in the least. I am, however, utterly judging you for judging someone else.
I'm not judging your opinions or beliefs in the least. I am, however, utterly judging you for judging someone else.
Hmmm. I've just re-read my original and subsequent posts in light of yours and I can see how it came off that way. Maybe I shouldn't have been so aggressive in the way I stated my opinion. In reality I have mixed feelings about FWB relationships. It's not that I'm against them entirely, just that I always understood sex to be an integral (though not 100% necessary) part of a sexual relationship, and therefore is somehow less satisfactory outside of one. Sorry to Sean and anyone who was offended by my posts.
Now, that I can totally understand.
It's been my own experience that with some people, sex felt better with someone about whom I cared a great deal. Other people, it was amazing just to throw down.
It's really all about what you yourself are comfortable with and making sure that you and your partner are both on the same page mentally.
22 Aug 2009, 12:44 am
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